Page 32 of Pretend You Love Me

“No, I’m not.” My eyes find Kip again. Dammit, the man is watching this scene like it's the most riveting movie he’s ever seen.

Paul looks over at Kip and then back at me. “Are you using any birth control? Condoms?”

My face is bright red now. One of the corners of Kip’s mouth turns up.

“Are you trying to get pregnant? In that case, we really need to...”

“I’ll just take the test,” I say, hopping off the examination table. My face is burning right now, and I can see Kip smirking in the corner. He’s really enjoying himself.

Paul rummages through a drawer and hands me a pregnancy test.

“Do you know how these work?”

“Yes, I’ve got it.”I take it from him without looking up.

I rush out of the room. Once I’m in the bathroom, I splash water on my face. I’d like to move its shade from tomato red to sunset pink by the time I return to the other room.

I look at the test. Do I really have to take this? Can I just pour water on it? I’m afraid that will backfire. Will Paul know somehow? I know I’m not pregnant. There’s literally no way I’m pregnant unless it’s an immaculate conception. I haven’t had sex in...oh god, I can’t even...it’s been a while, let’s just leave it at that.

I pull the test from the wrapper and sit down and pee on it. I put the cover back on and pull up my pants.

When I walk into the examination room, I hand him the test without looking at Kip. “Let’s rule out a concussion while we wait for that,” Paul says. I return to the examining table, and he checks my eyes and asks me all kinds of questions.

When he finishes he picks up the test. “Not pregnant,” he says.

Kip walks over to me. He wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me in until my head rests on his chest. What the hell is he doing?

“Maybe next month,” he whispers loudly.

What a dickhead.

“Have you been trying a while?” Paul asks. “It’s normal for it to take a few months, and that’s assuming you're together all the time. I know you’re long distance, so that complicates things.”

“Not too long,” Kip answers. I slip my arm around his waist underneath his shirt and dig my fingernails into his back. He doesn’t even flinch.

“I’m enjoying all the trying. I’m in no rush,” he says as he strokes my hair.

I dig my nails a little harder.

“Well, if you want some information on ovulation, I have some pamphlets over here.”

“No.” I pull back from Kip. “No, that’s not necessary.”

“Okay, well, if it doesn’t happen within a year, come back, and we’ll give you both a look over.”

“Sure thing, doc,” Kip says.

“Well, all in all, you look good Ginger. No sign of concussion. Take it easy the next few days.”

“I’ll make sure she does,” Kip says. I’m wondering if I can poison him tomorrow without anyone finding out as we walk back out into the waiting room.

Sylvia squeals when she sees us, and I look around in confusion. My eyes fall on the pregnancy test still in the doctor’s hands.

“Are you pregnant?” She claps her hands together.

Um...wait...do they not have HIPPA here?

Paul shakes his head. “No. Afraid not. They are still trying.”