Page 105 of Pretend You Love Me

I just furrow my brow. “What? I have a job.”

“I know, and you’re wonderful at it and love it, so I know you might not be interested, but I need someone to develop this curriculum, and I need someone to train our teachers. You’d be perfect. It could be flexible and part time, or if you were ever wanting to leave the classroom, you could pick up hours. I just wanted to throw it out there.”

I rub my chin for a moment. “I wasn’t expecting this at all.”

“I know. I’d love it if you’d take the job, but I’m not going to be offended if you’re not interested.”

“Can I think on it?”

“Of course, I know it’s barely November, so you wouldn’t want to make a major change until the summer anyway. Just think on it.”

“I will. It’s kind of you to think of me.”

“Well, it’s not kind. It’s selfish. You’ll be amazing and make my life easier.”

I laugh. “Well, thanks anyway.”

“What are you going to wear on your date with Craig?” She changes the subject. “I have a super sexy red dress you can borrow. I’m not going to be wearing it anytime soon.”

“I think I know the one. It’s a bit too sexy for me.”

“Too sexy for you? What does that even mean? You have to come over and try it on later.”

“Fine.” I throw up my hands.

A huge smile spreads across her face. “You’re not going to regret this.”

I already do.

Chapter Thirty

Brooklyn

Craig is nice enough. He’s certainly attractive. The restaurant’s nice, but...he’s not Kip. All I can think about is Kip. I’m wondering what Kip would order if he were here. I’m thinking about what he’d wear. I’m thinking about the way the candlelight would dance off his eyes.

It’s not fair to poor Craig.

I’m trying so hard to focus on everything he’s saying, but my head is still pounding. This damn headache has lasted all week. No wonder - I’m hardly sleeping between thinking about Kip and waking up with nightmares, I’m exhausted.

I push my food around my plate while Craig talks about his parents. I’ve been asking him lots of questions. I’d prefer he’d talk instead of me right now.

“Aren’t you hungry?” he says.

I sigh and set my fork down. “I’m not trying to be rude, but I haven’t had an appetite all week. I’m fighting off some sort of bug I think. It’s just an occupational hazard.”

He gives me a little sad smile. “Teachers don’t get paid nearly enough for what they do.”

I laugh. “We really don’t. I don’t normally get sick anymore. My first year of teaching was terrible. It was just one virus after another. They’ve done a good job of building up my immune system though.”

“But something snuck through?”

“It seems that way. There’s a lot going around.” I stop and laugh. “There’s always a lot going around.”

He smiles at me. I feel guilty. I’m not ready to date. I thought maybe I just needed to rip the Band-Aid off, but I’m not ready. I'm wearing the dress Zadie loaned me. I’d never normally wear something like this, but she insisted. I look good - really good, but I feel self-conscious, like I’m trying to show off too much, like I’m pretending to be someone I’m not.

“I’m going to run to the restroom for a moment,” Craig says as he pushes his chair back from the table.

As soon as he leaves, I rub my forehead. I feel so nauseous and hungry, but nothing sounds good. I take little sips of water, trying to settle my stomach. I consider asking the server to bring me a Sprite or Ginger Ale, but that feels tacky at a restaurant this nice.