Page 46 of Pretend Wife (Angels of the Secret Order #4)

“Really?” The biggest grin broke out over his face. And then he was pulling me into his arms and covering my face with kisses. “Fuck, I love you.”

I laughed as his mouth roved over my neck, and then he flipped us so I was underneath him, his body stretched out over mine .

“You’re mine,” he growled against my skin. “And I’m never letting you go.”

“Who said I wanted to go?” I threaded my hands through his damp hair. “I don’t want to be anywhere but with you.”

He lifted his head from my neck to meet my eyes. “Does this mean you’ll come back home?”

“As long as you want me.”

“I’ll always want you. There hasn’t been a day since I woke up to your face in the hospital two years ago that I haven’t wanted you, even when I tried to convince myself otherwise. I’m yours, Danielle. You’ve owned my heart and soul since the moment you saved my life.”

“Technically it was a joint effort. I couldn’t have saved you if Beelzebub didn’t save you from the wreck.”

“What are you trying to say?”

I stroked my hands through his hair. “I’m not sure really.

I guess I’m still trying to work through how I feel about the deal we had.

On the one hand, I hate that he blackmailed me, but at the same time, I’m grateful to him.

If he hadn’t brought you to my hospital that night…

” I shuddered. I didn’t even want to think about how close I’d come to losing Hayden before I’d even had him.

“He has a long way to go before I’ll forgive him for causing you distress.”

“Don’t.” I sat up enough to place a soft kiss on his lips. “Don’t hold a grudge on my account. It’s not worth it.”

“Forgiveness has never been my strong suit, Sunday School.”

“Just try. Please. For me. ”

“Fuck me,” he groaned. “You’re not playing fair. You know I can’t deny you anything when you ask like that.”

“Oh really?” I felt my lips curve in a wicked grin. “I kind of want to test that now.”

He dropped his head to my chest. “Go ahead. Tell me what you want.”

The weeks following learning Hayden was my mate were a bit of a chaotic whirlwind.

Micah and Maggie came back from their rescue mission, which turned out to be pretty much unnecessary. Joriel had already managed to reclaim his soul from Lucifer with the help of a first-order angel he’d met in Hell.

We all had a reunion at Sam’s penthouse above Youngblood to welcome him back and introduce him to Hayden and all the kids that Sam and Piper had adopted since he’d been taken and so we could all meet Laila.

I’d never seen Joriel so happy and at peace.

In a weird way, it seemed like his time in Hell had been good for him.

He wasn’t returning to the secret order. He and Laila had been given a special job, helping Fallen find their way back into Heaven’s good graces.

Overall, the reunion went much better than the last dinner we’d tried to have in Sam’s apartment. It was a bit tense at moments, but no one pulled any weapons on each other, so that was a win.

Hayden barely let go of me for more than three seconds at a time. He was always pulling me into his side, twining our fingers together or playing with my hair. He claimed he was making up for the time we lost while we spent ten days apart. I wasn’t complaining.

I did demand he go help with dinner while I healed Laila’s wings, however. I remembered how painful regrowing wings had been for Nate, and Laila didn’t need an audience for the experience.

The day after the reunion, Joriel and Laila left again, and Zeb finally showed up. Allison, Hayden, and I were all sitting by Sam’s pool when he arrived, dropping from the sky a few feet away from us.

The using-me-as-bait plan was kind of an epic failure. Zeb went straight to Allison and didn’t spare me so much as a glance.

“Chad told me you were here and you’d been looking for me. What happened?” Tension radiated off him, so potent I could practically taste it. His hands ran over Allison’s body as if searching for any injuries.

Allison placed her hands on his cheeks, holding his attention in a move so natural I could believe she’d done it a hundred times before. “They know. About us, Maggie, all of it.”

“How?” He started to turn his head, but Allison held fast.

“I told them.”

He blinked at her. “You told them.”

“What were you thinking, Zeb? You threatened angels.”

“He would have died,” Zeb said through gritted teeth. “I had to do something.”

Allison shook her head with a small smile. “You’re impossible sometimes.” She lowered her hands from his face and looked toward me. “Danielle, would you mind getting Micah and Sam for me? I think we have a lot to talk about.”

Hayden grasped my hand in his and followed as I made my way to the house, his expression hard as stone. His aura was bright with anger and a mix of other confusing emotions I doubted he wanted to unpack right this second.

Neither Hayden nor I were invited to the meeting Micah and Sam had with Allison and Zeb, and I was more than okay with that.

Sam gave me the rundown after it was all over. Basically, Zeb and the secret order were now the kind of allies who mostly ignored the other’s existence. We wouldn’t fight, threaten, or blackmail each other. If we needed the other’s help, we’d ask like civilized people.

There was no good reason for us to have ever been enemies. Essentially we wanted the same things—to live our lives with the people we loved and protect them from harm.

I wasn’t sure where Zeb went after the meeting, and I decided it wasn’t important. His actions were Micah’s responsibility now. I didn’t have to worry about his plans anymore.

He did send me a text Sunday night though.

Z

I’m sorry.

Just two words. But they were two words I’d never imagined I’d hear from the Prince of False Idols .

I hadn’t responded, and I didn’t hear from him again as the days went by.

Hayden and I returned to his penthouse—sorry, our penthouse—and fell back into the life we’d been living, but better.

Our marriage felt real in a way I hadn’t allowed it to before.

There were no more secrets or lies between us.

We couldn’t change the past, but we were learning to move forward together.

Robert passed away the day after Father’s Day.

We went over to be with Allison as soon as we heard. Hayden held his mother while she cried, and I saw the tears in his own eyes, but he didn’t want to talk about it. With anyone.

“What can I do?” I asked as we lay in bed that night.

Hayden tucked me closer into his chest. “There’s nothing that can be done.”

“It’s okay to feel, Hayden.”

“I know.”

I pressed a kiss to his bare chest. “If you want to talk about it at all, I’m here, okay?”

“I know.”

We lay in silence, with me cocooned in his arms, for so long I was sure he’d fallen asleep.

“I’m not sure what to feel,” he whispered finally. “I’m sad but I’m also kind of relieved, and then I feel guilty for feeling relieved. What does that say about me?”

“That you had a complicated relationship with him.”

“I feel like a fraud every time someone says they’re sorry or offers me condolences. Like I don’t deserve their sympathy. I’m still so mad at him, even now. We’ll never get the chance to repair our relationship, and I’m not sure I care. Does that make me a horrible person?”

“No. There’s no rule book for how you have to feel.”

“You don’t think I’m wrong?”

“I think you need to deal with this in your own time. I hope you can eventually forgive him and find a place where you can look back on the good without it being clouded out by the disappointment and hurt. But no one else can walk that path for you or tell you how to do it.”

His arms tightened around me. “I don’t know what I’d do without you right now.”

“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”