Page 13 of Pretend Wife (Angels of the Secret Order #4)

TEN

Danielle

It was unfair how good Hayden looked in a tux.

His black hair was tousled just the right amount, and his beard and long bangs gave him a slightly wild edge that I couldn’t help loving.

It fit the version of him that he hid from the general public—the man who gave me a diamond in a bubble tea store and preferred watching movies in my apartment to going out to fancy restaurants.

He hadn’t looked away once since I’d entered the church, his full attention locked on me. The pastor was speaking, but I couldn’t concentrate on what was being said as Hayden’s gaze skated over my body. He looked at me like he was trying to memorize every inch of me.

The dress had turned out exactly right—simple, lacking frills or gems. Other than Hayden’s ring, I wasn’t wearing any jewelry, and there wasn’t so much as a bejeweled button on my dress.

I wasn’t hiding behind my clothes and accessories today.

I was letting my dress and plain nude pumps show off what I naturally looked like.

But knowing I looked good and seeing Hayden watch me like he wanted to devour me were two very different things.

“Hayden, do you take Danielle to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish till death do you part?”

Hayden’s brown eyes bored into mine, and it felt like his presence was sucking all the air out of the room. “I do,” he said, his words wrapping around me and squeezing the breath from my lungs. There was power behind his promise, and I could feel it in the deepest parts of my soul.

“Danielle, do you take Hayden to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish till death do you part?”

I swallowed, and Hayden’s eyes tracked the movement. “I do,” I whispered. It was the start of a binding promise we wouldn’t be consummating. The vows were enough for this to be legal but not truly valid without the final step.

Hayden took the rings from his friend, and when he faced me again, there was a glimmer in his eyes. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it was possessiveness, but that didn’t make sense. He’d made it clear that he didn’t really want me. This was all temporary, a show for his father.

He held out a hand, his eyebrows rising when I didn’t immediately place my hand in his. “Don’t tell me you’re backing out now,” he murmured, a hint of a smirk touching his lips. “You already said I do.”

“I’m not backing out.” I offered him my left hand. The wedding ring Hayden had gotten me was a halo of small diamonds because the giant one on my engagement ring wasn’t enough apparently.

Once my ring was in place, Hayden handed me a simple gold band to put on him. A satisfied grin touched his lips as he watched me slide the piece of jewelry into place.

“You may kiss the bride.”

I froze at the pastor’s words, a shot of fear going though me. It had been eight months since I’d kissed him, or anyone, and I wasn’t mentally prepared to go there again. Wearing his ring and sharing an apartment was one thing, but kissing was… intimate.

Hayden didn’t appear to share my fears. His movements were confident and sure as he slid one hand around my waist and the other curved around the back of my neck.

I held my breath as he lowered his mouth to mine. The kiss was slow and languid, like we had all the time in the world and he was intent on enjoying every second. His tongue swept over my lips gently, a soft request for more.

And I just opened for him like my body had a mind of its own. There was no thinking, no fighting; my lips just parted like they answered to him rather than me.

The second Hayden’s tongue met mine, everything changed. His grip on me tightened as he pulled me flush against his hard body, and the kiss turned urgent. My head swam as his tongue tangled with mine like he was fighting for dominance of my mouth, trying to prove a point I didn’t understand.

I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think.

At some point I must have moved, because my fingers were gripping the lapels of his jacket for dear life.

I was terrified that if either one of us let go, I wouldn’t be able to stand on my own.

I couldn’t even tell you which way was up.

There was nothing but him and how he was devouring me like he was starving and I was his last meal.

Whistles and hoots sounded, but Hayden completely ignored them.

When he finally pulled back, he didn’t go far, pressing his forehead to mine. We were both breathing hard, our breath mingling in the mere inches of space between our lips.

“What was that?” I gasped out.

“You taste even better than I remember,” he whispered.

What in the world was that supposed to mean?

Hayden had always kissed me like he loved it, like it was his life mission, but then he’d dropped me like it was nothing.

So how dare he comment on my taste or kiss me like he still had that right?

He didn’t. He’d ruined us and everything I’d thought we were building.

He slowly dropped his hands from my body, as if he was reluctant to let me go. “We should go do pictures.”

I nodded, but I was barely aware of the action.

A numbness was starting to take over. It was my mind’s way of protecting me from my reality.

I’d been doing it since as long as I could remember.

Moving to Earth after joining the secret order had helped, but sometimes, no matter what I did, I couldn’t push it away.

A tiny crease appeared between Hayden’s brows. “You okay?”

I nodded again even though the action felt like a lie. How was I supposed to survive nine months of being married to him if I was already falling apart after less than nine minutes?

We spent the next half hour posing while the photographer Hayden had hired took at least a dozen pictures of the two of us. The New England winter created a beautiful snowy backdrop outside the window behind us, and I knew the pictures would be stunning.

“Are you all right?” Hayden asked for what had to be the hundredth time since we’d started the photo session.

“I’m fine.”

He ran his hands up and down my bare arms, causing the skin to pebble in the wake of his touch. “Are you cold?”

“No.”

“You have goose bumps.”

I bit back a laugh. He was right, but they had nothing to do with my being cold and everything to do with his attempt to warm me up. “I’m fine.”

“We should get you away from the window.”

“But it’s so beautiful.”

“It’s not worth you freezing to death.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not freezing.” I turned so I was leaning back against his chest and pulled his arms around my waist. “Now smile for the camera. ”

“Jesus, woman, were you raised in the North Pole or something?”

“Or something,” I said. Due to my deal with Beelzebub, I’d never told Hayden about my childhood in Heaven. I’d told him my brothers in the secret order were the only family I had that mattered, and we’d left it at that.

We went through a couple more poses before our photographer gave us a nod.

“Anything else you want?” she asked.

I glanced up at Hayden. This was his show after all.

“Take some of just Danielle,” he said, giving me a look that was downright predatory.

I frowned at him. “Why?”

“Because I want a picture of you, just you, in that fucking dress that I really wish I was taking off you tonight.”

Silence followed his words. I could see the shock in his eyes and his aura both, and I was sure the same shock was mirrored on my face.

Did I hear that right? In the year we’d been together, Hayden hadn’t once pushed to take things to a sexual level.

Not after learning that I wanted to wait until I was married.

“Shit,” he muttered. “I—”

“Okay,” I said before he could say something that I probably didn’t want to hear.

“Okay?”

“If you want a picture of just me, you need to move out of the shot.”

He didn’t say a word as he backed away from me, but I could feel his eyes burning into my skin as I placed my hands on the windowsill behind me and smiled at the camera.

The car ride back to the city was awkward and silent. Hayden typed on his phone while I stared out the window, watching the scenery rush past.

“Where are we going?” I asked as we turned down a street that definitely did not lead toward my apartment.

“Home,” Hayden said, not looking up from his phone.

“This isn’t the way to my place.”

“We discussed this already,” he said. “The agreement was that you would move in after the wedding.”

“Look at me, Hayden.” I refused to have this conversation while he gave half his attention to whatever he was doing on his phone.

He lifted his head. “I’m looking.”

God, give me strength. “Moving in after the wedding doesn’t mean I agreed to going straight from the church to your place. Do you seriously expect me to walk through your lobby in my wedding dress?”

His expression didn’t change. “Is there a problem with that?”

“It’s not exactly the first impression I wanted to give my new doorman.”

“What was your plan then?”

“I was planning on going back to my apartment to change and pack, but you sent my driver away.”

“You thought we were going to leave our wedding in separate cars? That wouldn’t have been suspicious at all,” he said dryly.

“Everyone at our wedding knew it was fake. Who were you trying to pretend for?”

He didn’t reply, just returned his attention to his phone. “I can have someone pack your things and deliver them tonight.”

“No. I don’t want a stranger in my private space.”

He didn’t even spare so much as a glance, just kept typing away like I wasn’t even there for the rest of the drive.

The car stopped in front of the mirrored glass building where he lived. I could count on one hand the number of times I’d been here. In the past, Hayden had mostly come to me.

Hayden shrugged out of his jacket and handed it to me without a word.

“I’m fine,” I told him. “The cold doesn’t bother me.”

“Just take the jacket, Sunday School.”

A part of me wanted to refuse, but I also didn’t want to fight for the sake of fighting. So I took the damn jacket and pulled it on over my dress. I was immediately surrounded by the familiar scent of pine and expensive cologne. I’d always loved how Hayden smelled.

I pushed that thought away as I stepped out of the car.

Hayden was at my side in an instant, his fingers lacing with mine. He led me to the elevators and drew my hand to his lips, placing gentle kisses all over my fingers while we waited. It was like the sort-of argument in the car hadn’t happened .

The second we entered his penthouse, he dropped my hand.

“There are two bedrooms down the hall on this floor. They both have attached bathrooms and access to the balcony. You can take whichever one you want.”

“I don’t have anything to sleep in.”

He headed for the stairs without a backward glance. “Both closets are stocked with the basics.”

“I told you not to buy me clothes.”

He paused with his foot on the first step. “I didn’t buy them for you. Those closets have always been stocked.” He didn’t give me a chance to reply, disappearing upstairs while I stood rooted in place.

His words shouldn’t have hurt, but they did.

I hadn’t expected to be sleeping in Hayden’s room. Having my own room on a different floor from him was reasonable. What hurt was that those rooms were stocked with women’s clothing. He hadn’t even bothered to clear out the closets for me.

The hand Hayden had kissed not five minutes ago curled into a fist. He’d only done that because we were in public. He was keeping his promise to convince the world that he loved me. And he was a far better actor than I’d realized.

Was any of it real? Had he ever felt anything for me, or was I just a temporary stop on his journey? Was I any different than the other girls he’d had stay here?

I retreated to the bedroom at the very end of the hall, mostly because it was the farthest away from Hayden.

He was right about the walk-in closet being well stocked.

There were pajamas of every kind, evening dresses, jeans, blouses, and tank tops.

Shoes ranging from heels to canvas sneakers lined one of the walls.

Everything was made to fit someone roughly my size and shape. It would appear Hayden had a type.

I pulled my phone from its holder at my thigh, where I’d nestled it beside my bow, and called Miles.

“Dani?” He picked up on the second ring. “Are you okay?”

I winced at the worry in his voice. “I’m fine,” I said in the least convincing voice ever. “I need a favor though.”