Page 41 of Pretend Wife (Angels of the Secret Order #4)

THIRTY

Danielle

He didn’t look back.

Not when I said I loved him. Not when I begged him to stay.

He left like it was easy, like he didn’t even have any second thoughts.

Once the elevator doors closed, I couldn’t help the sob that tore from somewhere deep in my chest. It felt like my very soul was splitting apart. How was I supposed to survive this? It felt like he’d taken a vital part of me with him when he walked out.

I didn’t remember dropping to my knees in the hallway, but that’s where I was when Sierra found me.

“Oh, honey.” She knelt beside me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, letting me cry into her chest. “It’s going to be okay.”

“How? He hates me. ”

“I sincerely doubt that he hates you. He’s just shocked and hurt right now.”

“What if he never forgives me?”

“If he can’t see that your heart was in the right place this whole time, he doesn’t deserve you.”

“Maybe I don’t deserve him.”

“Dani, stop it. You made a mistake. You’re allowed to do that.”

“I should have told him the truth. I lied to him, just like his ex did.”

“Okay, let’s not go down the road of comparing yourself to his ex. How about you come with me to Kylie’s apartment? We can binge-watch Jane Austen movies and gorge ourselves on vegan ice cream.”

“Will there be wine?”

“Sure. Let me just go tell Nate that we’re leaving. Don’t move, okay?”

In the end, Nate and Nova ended up coming with us.

After the shit show of a family gathering we’d just had, Nate refused to let his wife or daughter go anywhere without him.

I probably should have cared more about what happened while I was crying in the hallway, but I couldn’t muster the energy.

I didn’t ask about the outcome of the conversation between my family and Hayden’s, which I’d run out in the middle of.

Nate didn’t seem particularly happy, but he didn’t look like he was on the brink of murdering anyone, so it must not have gone that badly.

I’d ask later. Maybe tomorrow.

Nate dropped Sierra and me off at Kylie’s apartment without a fight. Probably because the apartment was completely warded against demons.

Nate had set up the wards years ago during his job as Sierra’s guardian, back when she had lived here. She’d accidentally gotten on a duke of Hell’s bad side, and Nate had been assigned to protect her.

As soon as I stepped through the door, Kylie enveloped me in a hug. “I’m going to kill him,” she murmured.

“Please don’t.”

“No promises,” she said as she moved to the kitchen to get the wine and ice cream.

True to Sierra’s promise, we spent the night eating sugar and watching romance movies set in the early 1800s.

Around the time the first movie finished, there was a knock on the front door.

Kylie slipped out, keeping the door mostly closed as she did so that I couldn’t see who was on the other side.

She came back a couple of minutes later with a small leather suitcase that she handed to me.

“Why don’t you get changed,” she suggested. “It might make you feel a little better.”

I doubted changing my clothes was really going to help in this situation, but I took the suitcase anyway.

Inside, there was an old nightgown that I’d left behind when I moved in with Hayden, a few dresses that also hadn’t made the moving cut, several pairs of oversized flannel pajama pants, and half a dozen men’s T-shirts.

I lifted one to my face and inhaled. It smelled of Miles’s cologne, and I tried not to be disappointed that the shirt was his and not Hayden’s.

This was better anyway. Miles had always smelled like comfort and friendship to me, and that’s what I needed right now.

Not more memories of the man who’d left me crying in the hallway without a backward glance.

Once I was dressed in the shirt and pair of flannel pants, I returned to the couch in Kylie’s living room to continue our movie marathon.

Eventually Sierra left to go back home to her husband and kid, but Kylie stayed up until five in the morning with me, letting me cry on her shoulder and enabling my wine-and-ice-cream intake.

She offered me the bed in her spare room, but I refused. The idea of sleeping in a bed alone felt wrong, and some stupid part of me felt like if I stayed on the couch, I wasn’t really going to bed and this day wasn’t really over. There was a chance it could be fixed.

I fell asleep sometime in the early morning, and when I woke up again, the apartment was quiet. The TV had been turned off, and Kylie must have covered me with a blanket. There was no sign of the ice cream or wine we’d consumed either.

My phone buzzed against the glass coffee table next to me, and I reached for it, a tiny bubble of hope blossoming in my chest.

The bubble burst a second later when I saw the string of notifications filling my screen.

There was a message from Kylie telling me she’d gone to church but to help myself to anything in the apartment.

A couple from Sierra and Piper asking if I needed anything.

One from Maggie asking if we could talk.

And a bunch of missed calls from Miles .

There was nothing from Hayden.

A part of me wanted to call him, but what could I say? Nothing had changed in the past twelve hours. I was still an angel. I’d still kept secrets from him.

So I called Miles back instead.

“Dani? Are you okay?”

I almost laughed. “I guess that depends on your definition of okay.”

“Are you still at Kylie’s?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to come back to Boston? You can stay with me and Jessica if you want.”

“No. I think I’m going to stay here for now.” Or maybe forever.

“Is there anything I can do? Do you want to talk about it?”

“What is there to talk about? I told him the truth, and he didn’t want me anymore.”

“He’s always wanted you, Danielle. He got pissed at me for flirting with you in the hospital the day he woke up from the car crash. I don’t think there’s been a minute since then that he didn’t want you. He’s just stubborn and incredibly stupid.”

“Why aren’t you mad at me?” I asked, between sniffles. “I lied to you too.”

“I don’t care if you’re human or not. It doesn’t change who you are. And who you are is my best friend, my ride or die.”

“I love you.”

“I know. I love you too. I’ll stop by later today, okay?”

“I’m not very good company right now. ”

“And I don’t care. We’re not the kind of friends who only show up for each other when things are all rainbows and butterflies. I’ll see you in a bit.”

While I waited for Miles, I finally responded to Maggie’s text, telling her she was welcome to call anytime.

My phone rang a couple of seconds later.

“Hey,” she said as soon as I picked up. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know about the blackmail, I swear. Neither did Mom. We never would have wanted that.”

“I know. I don’t blame you.” I’d seen the shock and horror in Maggie’s aura last night. “What happened after I left yesterday?”

“Mom and your scary-calm brother talked about deals and options that don’t end in our families fighting. Mom’s going to get in touch with my dad, and while she does that, Scott and I are staying with Sam and Piper.”

“You’re what?” Nate had been ready to kill Maggie last night. Now she was living next door to him?

“The idea is if my dad decides to follow through on the threats he made to you, I’ll be there to hopefully talk sense into him?” Her voice lifted at the end of her statement, making it sound more like a question. “Or I guess worst-case scenario, I can play hostage.”

“And you’re okay with this?”

“I don’t see any better options. At least this way Mom has the chance to try to make some kind of truce. And it’s only for a week. Then we’re all getting together again to make a more solid plan.”

I tipped my head back against the couch. “I made such a mess of everything. ”

“This isn’t your fault, Danielle. We all kept secrets that we probably shouldn’t have.”

“Hayden didn’t.”

“You sure about that? Because I’m not buying his story about you two dating for two years while he invited other girls to be his plus-one at events. I can’t see either of you being okay with that if you were really together.”

“Maggie—”

“You don’t need to tell me the real story, but don’t pretend my brother hasn’t kept secrets too.”

“Have you heard from him?” I couldn’t help asking.

“No. He’s not answering his phone. But I’m not exactly surprised he doesn’t want to talk to me. I lied to him too. And I know him—he’s going to need a minute to hold on to his grudges.”

I stayed on Kylie’s couch for days. I got up to shower and change clothes, but that was about it. I knew I was wallowing, but I couldn’t help it. Just breathing felt difficult. Eating held no appeal. The only thing I wanted to do was go back in time.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d made a horrible mistake.

But it hadn’t even been my decision. Hayden had been the one to walk away, not me.

If it was a mistake, it had been his, and there was nothing I could do about it.

But that didn’t stop me from waking up in the middle of the night, covered in sweat, my heart trying to beat through my ribs and my lungs seizing in my chest.

Tears blurred my vision for what had to be the thousandth time since Saturday as I looked down at my phone. I hadn’t heard a word from or about Hayden.

Miles told me he hadn’t seen him since the disaster of a family dinner.

He’d texted him a few times and had been ignored just like Maggie.

Maybe that should have made me feel better—it wasn’t just me he wasn’t speaking to—but it only made me feel worse.

I hated the idea of Hayden cutting everyone off.

I wanted him to have support, for someone to be there for him the way my friends and sisters-in-law had been for me.

“Okay, come on. We’re getting out of this apartment,” Kylie said, plucking the phone from my hand.

“You go. I’m going to stay here.”

“No, you’re not.” She disappeared into her bedroom and returned with a bathing suit, which she threw at me. “Put that on. We’re going to the pool.”

I shook my head. “I really don’t want to be in public right now.”

“We’re not going to be in public. We’re going to Sam’s.”

“That’s actually worse.”

“Well, you don’t get a choice in the matter. You can either come with me or Nate’s going to come here and drag you out. I love you, Dani, but I’m not going to be able to protect you from a warrior angel.”

I sighed. “Why does he care?”

“Because Micah called a meeting for first thing tomorrow morning, and he wants you there tonight. The pool was my idea, but if you’d rather stay inside the house, that’s your choice.”

I shook my head, already walking toward the bathroom. I’d much rather hide in the pool than have to face my brothers.

When we got to Sam’s house, I went around to the back without saying hi to anyone.

The pool was an anniversary gift to Piper that Sam had had installed back in the spring. It looked beautiful and peaceful, all lit up in the dark.

I slipped into the warm water and dove to the bottom. Maybe I’d just stay here where no one could see me cry. It’s not like I could drown. Breathing underwater was one of the perks of being an angel. It wasn’t comfortable, but I’d live.

Mind made up, I lay back on the floor of the pool and closed my eyes.

I wasn’t sure how long I lay there before another body joined me. I felt the water move around me before I heard his voice.

“What are you doing down here?” Nate asked.

“Swimming.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re hiding.”

“Clearly it’s not working.”

“Danielle.”

“What?”

“Look at me.”

I debated ignoring him, but I wasn’t really in the mood to deal with whatever consequences would come of that decision. I opened my eyes and met his green ones. They studied me for a minute, and then he reached out and pulled me into his arms.

I was so surprised that for a few seconds I couldn’t move, but eventually I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his chest.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.

I held him tighter while he stroked my hair as best he could underwater.

Nate didn’t let me go. He didn’t threaten to murder Hayden. He just offered me his silent support and comfort, and surprisingly it helped. It was the most okay I’d felt all week.