Page 36 of Pretend Wife (Angels of the Secret Order #4)

TWENTY-SIX

Danielle

I was running out of time. How long did I have before Hayden figured out the truth? Or some version of it at least.

He was worried about me—I could see it wrapping through his aura in dismal clouds of gray every time he looked at me.

I hated it, being the source of his anxiety.

But what could I do to take it away? He didn’t believe me when I said I was fine, and I couldn’t blame him.

I wouldn’t believe me either. I wasn’t fine.

I stared up at the mirrored glass building that housed the entrance into Heaven.

It had been a couple of weeks since I’d visited the manor house for more books about the grand princes.

Micah hadn’t been around then, but I’d sent a message ahead telling him I needed to talk to him this time.

And if he hadn’t gotten it, I’d just have to wait until he came back.

After crossing the plain white lobby, I pushed the Up button beside the elevator, watching as it lit up with soft white light. It took a matter of seconds before the doors slid open and I was on my way home.

Except it didn’t feel like home. My home had become the penthouse I’d shared with Hayden for the past four months. That was the first place I’d felt truly like I belonged. It was comfortable in a way none of my other homes in Heaven or on Earth really had before.

The doors opened right onto the second floor of the secret order’s manor house. My legs started moving automatically in the direction of the library before my brain could catch up and remind me that wasn’t why I was here today.

I turned and moved to the door that led to Micah’s rooms instead.

He used to share this floor with Sam and Joriel, but since neither of them lived here at the present moment, he had it to himself.

I knocked softly, watching his name appear on the door, glowing softly as if the word had been written with light instead of ink.

It appeared anytime another angel of the secret order touched the door.

After knocking again and waiting a few minutes, I headed downstairs to check his office and the training rooms.

The staircase between the first and second floor was split into two separate sets of stairs that met at a landing in the middle and joined into wide steps the rest of the way down.

It had always reminded me of something from a Gilded Age mansion or one of those luxury steamships from the early twentieth century .

A pretty glass chandelier hung from the ceiling, casting bright light over the space.

Everything in the foyer was made of wood, from the floors to the walls to the dark oak doors that led into various rooms.

The whole room was beautiful—grand but not over the top.

For the months I lived in this house, I’d spent most of my time on this floor. It was home to the infirmary, the kitchen, and the training room Micah had attempted to teach me to fight in. It was also where Micah’s office was located.

I knocked, and when he didn’t answer, I pushed the door open and peeked my head in.

“Micah?”

There was a crash as a crystal glass smashed against the floor near the bar where a woman I didn’t recognize was sitting on the counter.

She had stunning silver wings just like Sam’s, marking her as a member of the second order…

at least originally. If she was here, maybe she wasn’t second order anymore.

Micah stood in front of her, his own wings out and blocking most of her body from my view. They were literally curled around her like he was shielding her from the world.

“Sorry,” I said. “I didn’t know you had company. I’ll just… wait in the kitchen.”

I shut the door quickly, not sure what I’d just witnessed, if anything. I’d never seen an angel who wasn’t one of my brothers in this house—I was pretty sure the rest of the orders were unaware that it even existed .

It didn’t matter, I decided as I made a beeline for the kitchen. I had enough problems of my own—I didn’t need to worry about who the girl was or what she’d been doing in Micah’s study.

The kitchen was exactly as I remembered it—huge, with an island that could rival Hayden’s in the middle. Five chairs lined one side, enough for all the members of the secret order. Not that all of us had ever actually been in this room together at the same time.

I sat down in one of those chairs, twisting my fingers together. I still wasn’t one hundred percent sure what I wanted to say to Micah. I needed him to meet with everyone else on Saturday, but would he agree without more of an explanation?

After several minutes, Micah stepped into the kitchen.

“Danielle.” He nodded. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I sent you a message.”

“I must have missed it. What’s going on? Are you okay?”

My chest squeezed at his words. Micah had a reputation for being demanding and sometimes emotionless, but there was no doubt that he cared about his family. And somehow I’d made my way onto that very short list. “Um.”

“What happened?” he snapped, crossing to me in seconds.

“There’s something I need to tell you, but I have to tell Nate and Sam and Hayden’s family at the same time. Could you come to Boston Saturday evening? I already talked to Sam, and he said we could use his penthouse above Youngblood.”

“You talked to Sam.” It wasn’t really a question, so I kept my mouth shut, waiting for him to continue. “And you can’t tell me this something now?”

I shook my head. “I need everyone there, and Hayden’s family doesn’t know I’m an angel. I can’t exactly bring them here.”

“No, you can’t.” Micah frowned, glancing at the ceiling like he was trying to see through it. “Why, exactly, does everyone need to be there?”

I swallowed hard. “Because it affects everyone. You’re both my family.”

His eyes narrowed on me. “I thought this marriage was temporary. Fake.”

“It’s not so fake anymore,” I admitted.

“You slept with him.”

My eyes snapped to his, my jaw dropping in shock more at the fact that he’d said that out loud than anything else.

“I’m going to take that as a yes. Is he your mate?”

“I don’t know.” I could have tested the theory—if he was my mate, I’d be unable to physically hurt him even if I tried to—but I didn’t want to know.

I didn’t care if he was fated for me or not.

I loved him either way. Besides, mates weren’t exactly common.

They were more like a legend. I only knew they were real because both Nate and Sam had them.

“You don’t know,” Micah repeated slowly.

“I don’t care.”

“Danielle. You can’t just go marrying humans. ”

“I’m not marrying human s . I married one specific human.”

He closed his eyes, his jaw clenching. “For fuck’s sake. I thought at least you would have some sense of self-preservation and basic logic.”

“It’s already done. I can’t exactly take it back.”

“Believe me, I know.”

“Are you going to come on Saturday or not?”

“Do I have a choice?” he demanded.

“I can’t make you do anything.”

“But you need help,” he said with a sigh.

“Yeah. I tried to find a solution on my own. I promise I did. But I’m stuck, and you all need to know what’s happening.” I dropped my gaze again. “I’ll understand if, after everything, you don’t want me in the secret order anymore or even if you take my halo.”

“What is with this family all acting like I’m just waiting for you to mess up so I can cast you out?”

“I’m just trying to be realistic.”

“And in your reality, I wouldn’t fight for you.”

“You can’t.”

He shook his head with a look of disappointment I’d never seen on his face, not even after working with me for hours in the training room with zero results.

“I’ll be there Saturday,” he said, already turning for the door.

“Micah, I’m sorry.”

“Save it for when you can tell me what’s actually going on.”

I watched him disappear, a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was letting him down. I was going to let all of them down—my brothers, my friends, the Blakes, who’d welcomed me into their family with open arms, and the man I loved.

All I’d ever wanted was to feel like I belonged somewhere.

I’d always thought I didn’t quite fit anywhere.

But now that I was on the cusp of losing everyone I cared about, I realized I already had everything I’d been looking for.

I had a home that I loved and a family that had my back even if I wasn’t a warrior like the rest of them.

It was late by the time I made it back to the penthouse. My phone started pinging like crazy the second I returned to Earth, but I ignored it. I just wanted to get home as soon as possible.

Hayden flung the front door open before I could even get my key out. “Danielle.”

“Hey.”

“Where have you been? Do you have any idea how crazy I’ve been going?”

“I’m sorry.” I was doing a lot of apologizing today.

“Where did you go, and why weren’t you answering my calls or texts?”

“I had my phone off.” It wasn’t quite true, but it might as well be. It wasn’t like I had cell service in Heaven.

He ran a hand through his hair, frustration bleeding into his aura. “Please,” he whispered. “Please tell me what’s going on, baby.” The frustration was being overtaken by black helplessness and sharp pain that triggered an ache in my own chest.

I hated being the source of his negative feelings. I was so sick of the secrets and lies. I couldn’t tell Hayden everything yet—I needed to wait until Saturday when everyone was there—but maybe I could tell him part of the story.

The idea was too tempting to resist. I was tired of carrying this on my own, of feeling like I couldn’t lean on anyone for fear that they’d become a target.

I looked up at Hayden, letting myself get lost in his dark eyes. “Do you remember when I said my secrets could put you in danger?”