Page 97 of Possessed By Shadows
“You don’t treat me that way.”
We sat in silence another minute. I worked on counting, breathing, and trying to fill my thoughts with memories of Micah. It calmed the rising shadows. I never called them, though they came easier now. Like I could wave my hand and bring the darkness to life. It was draining on the best of days, and I had barely begun training with Dion. I tried to keep steady and not give them energy. There were enough dark things following me that I didn’t need to feed more.
“We aren’t crazy,” Lukas finally said. “Just broken.”
“We aren’t broken either,” I told him.
He didn’t answer.
“There have been charges filed,” the therapist said. “Against the man who took you.”
A long list that was going to be hard for even an ex-chief with the backing of a police union with a bloated budget to get out of. The child porn couldn’t be swept under a rug. Not with boxes of clothing that seemed to belong to those kids. Apparently he’d been gone, dumping boxes into the bayou. The question now was, where were those kids? Who were they? Some had been ghosts in the attic of Lukas’s haunted house. Did that mean they died there? Were they all dead? That was a lot of dead kids.
“I was stupid,” Lukas said. “Offered up the clothing, thinking it was something, trying to get a lead. Guess he found me first.” He looked my way. “Court is going to be complicated.”
I didn’t know if I would be called to testify yet, though it was likely. There were a lot of unanswered questions. Things being uncovered every day, though little of it was shared with us or the news media. How many missing kids? Too many. Sky had almost been one of them. I understood why he’d been obsessed with solving the case, finding evidence. Apparently there had been a dozen other arrests in a large child sex trafficking ring by the US Marshals. Details kept out of the news because of the kids, and the need to keep the Marshals out of the news cycle.
How many? There was speculation it was maybe in the thousands. Not that many ghosts in Lukas’s house, but there were a lot.
“Can we agree to talk?” I asked. “Instead of shutting down and expecting me to tell you everything, but giving me nothing in return?”
“Like the black-eyed kid?” Lukas snapped.
“You can’t see them,” I said, feeling tired and wanting to go home to Micah who would hug me and not offer judgment.
“Doesn’t mean I don’t think it’s real.”
I wasn’t always sure it was real. “Like the night noises you recorded and didn’t tell Micah about?”
“I thought it would fuel his fear.”
Always an excuse.
“I love you, Lukas. But sometimes I don’t like you much.”
He flinched again.
“Let’s talk about that,” the therapist said. “Is there still a way to repair your relationship? Or do you want distance, Alex?”
“If I wanted distance I wouldn’t be here.” I stared at Lukas. “If I’m important to you, then stop pushing me away. Stop lying to me. Stop using me to try to fix what’s wrong with you. Stop using Micah as an excuse to run away from us. Be my brother. Why is that too much to ask?”
“It’s not,” Lukas said.
“Sure seems like it.”
“I don’t know where to start,” he said after another long minute. “I’m used to being alone.”
“But you’ve never been alone. This chasm was created by you.”
“So I just tell everyone everything and expect them to not look at me like I’m insane? Treat me like I should be hospitalized? I’ve been through the same drug bullshit you have,” Lukas snapped. “Nothing helped.”
“Because we aren’t crazy,” I reminded him. “Different. But not crazy.”
“You don’t believe that any more than I do.”
I had to admit it was hard a lot of days to find that solid ground. “It helps to know that I’m not the only one. Micah sees stuff, feels it. To know you do too…” I shrugged. “It helps me to remember that maybe I’m really not insane. There is stuff out there that is hard to explain. I’m no genius. I can’t expect to have all the answers. My goal is simply to find a solid ground in which I feel safe, loved, and happy.”
“And have you found that?” Lukas wondered.