Page 8 of Possessed By Shadows
“Mr. Richards,” the doctor greeted, waving a hand at the seat next to me. He peered through the door behind Micah. “And Mr. Caine. Please come in.”
Micah was first through the door, hand stretched out to me, which I took and squeezed tight. Lukas did not look good. His eyes were bloodshot and gaze focused on the floor instead of me. But he came in and took a seat too. The nurse closed the door. It was a very small room to have four adults in at once.
I couldn’t help but smile into Micah’s face. He looked the same. Not like a lot of time had passed. Maybe it had been only a few days.
“Can we take him home?” Micah asked.
“I’d like to discuss that,” the doctor said slowly. His gaze focused on me. “There are a handful of new medications available.”
“Which he can’t take,” Micah interrupted. “Everything makes him sick.”
“If he stayed here under supervision, we could try a few. As I stated, they are new. Perhaps something will help. If his schizophrenia remains untreated…”
“He’s not schizophrenic,” Lukas interrupted.
“He has several of the classic markers, Mr. Caine. Denying it is not going to improve his health.”
“It has been ruled out by a dozen doctors. His brain scans as normal.” Lukas paused, then added, “Mostly normal. Had depression signs, and very clear PTSD, but not the severe abnormalities that a schizophrenic brain exhibits.”
Was that a thing? Brain scans to find mental illness? It made sense that it would show up somehow as a physical manifestation. I’d have to look it up when I got out of here.
“Using brain scans alone are not a one hundred percent accurate diagnosis. We are likely in very early stages of it.”
“Nothing in medicine, physical or mental, really is a hundred percent accurate. He’s also a little old to only start exhibiting beginning stages now,” Lukas stated. I had never experienced him willing to really go to bat for me before. Though I was happy he didn’t plan to let them use me as some sort of pill pushing experiment. I’d heard the idea punted around before, a thousand options from schizophrenia to bipolar disorder, to any number of random other things. Nothing had stuck, and apparently my brother had been researching them all. “I’d rather not drug him into oblivion trying to fix something that isn’t wrong with him.”
“We’d really like to take him home,” Micah added. He took a piece of paper out of his pocket. “This is a list of his upcoming appointments. You’ll see his therapist, and a holistic doctor, that we’ve been using for his physical and nutritional health, as well as his normal psychologist.”
“And if this happens again?” The doctor asked.
“We’ll do the best we can,” Lukas said, “to ensure it doesn’t happen again. He’s been fine for months. This was my fault. It won’t happen again.”
The doctor seemed to want to protest more, but he turned his attention my way. “And what about you, Alex? Do you want to try treatment this time?”
This time? I’d tried a dozen treatments in the past. All for things I wasn’t sure I had. Spent a year trapped in a mental ward not all that unlike this one, while they tried medication after medication. Only ended up on the streets after they couldn’t find a permanent mental health home for me, which would have been little more than a prison. No. I didn’t want to try anything else other than time with my boyfriend.
“I’d like to go home.”
“And if your illness gets worse?”
“Then at least I’m surrounded by the people who love me.” I figured he probably had a lot of people deny schizophrenia. It was a scary illness. How could I assure him it wasn’t what I had, when I wasn’t sure I didn’t have it? “I’ve been okay.” I just needed to stay away from random haunted places.
“Fine. I’ll inform the nurse to gather your things.” He got up, leaving us in the small room to have a bit of quiet. As soon as the door was closed, I hugged Micah fiercely.
“Fill me in. What happened? How long has it been?”
“Only a few days,” Micah assured. “You dropped like a stone. Eyes open, breathing, but not… how to describe it? Functioning? Like the energy was sucked out of the batteries in our phones, it was like your soul or whatever, had left, leaving you empty. Nothing we did would wake you. You were breathing, but that was it.” He kissed my cheek. “I’m so sorry for bringing you here. We didn’t know what else to do. We couldn’t get you to respond.”
“It was my fault,” Lukas said. “Shouldn’t have brought you there. I thought the charms would work. Spirits would be attracted to the toy, not you.”
Since when had Lukas believed in spirits? “I missed something else too, didn’t I?” I frowned at my brother, keeping a firm grip on Micah.
“Once we’re out of here, we’ll show you the video,” Lukas said quietly. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. Whatever he’d seen seemed to haunt him. I hoped it wouldn’t haunt me too, but I knew I was going to be vibrating with anxiety until I actually saw it. As long as I was going home with Micah, I could handle anything.
The drive was long and mostly silent. With my hand gripped tight in Micah’s, I could breathe. I was glad when Lukas finally parked in front of the place I shared with Micah. It had been a battle for a while, after all, getting him to realize that this washomefor me.
Outside our condo, which was a chunk of a large house cut up into living spaces, a garden of gnomes, cats, and other bizarre yard art had popped up. Partially due to Lukas’ need to garden, and my constant addition of talisman-like things to keep the night noises away. I realized the garden was my attempt at what Lukas had done to me. Throwing everything we could at a problem we didn’t understand with the hopes that something would stick.
Micah opened the door. Strands of garden lights dangling from the bottom of the loft glowed pale-yellow. I passed Jet, our black cat, on the way to the shower. I needed to feel like me again. Even if that meant standing under the spray and soaking in the scent of the soap Micah chose for me.