Page 94 of Possessed By Shadows

I leaned in the door of Lukas’s room, seeing him there, covered in wires and tubes, bundled up with blankets, but his chest rose and fell, and I sighed in relief. There was an armchair crammed in the corner, and I planned on sitting there until he woke. Micah helped me over and even dug around the cupboards of the room until he found more blankets and began spreading them over me. “Please?” He asked my dad. “Alex burns calories like crazy.”

My dad looked at Lukas, then me, and finally nodded. “Anything he can’t eat?”

“Not really,” Micah said.

“Micah can’t eat dairy,” I grumbled. “You should eat too. We all should eat.” I gazed at Lukas, not really paying attention to the rest of the room in that moment while I studied his sleeping face. He looked a lot like me now, hair starting to grow out a bit and curling like ours did. His beard overgrown, mimicking the wildness mine did when I let it go too long without a trim. His eyes were surrounded by dark wells of blotchy color. Bruises or malnutrition from several days of being starved?

I reached out and carefully touched the back of his hand, which was covered in tape and the IVs that fed him fluids. He was real. Safe. Something in my gut settled, like there had been a dagger there, and now it was gone.

“I could eat,” I said, gaze not leaving Lukas’s face. Life as a twin had not been the stuff movies portrayed. We weren’t always best friends or alike at all. But I’d do a lot for him. We’d been thick as thieves when we were kids. When we grew up and Lukas started dating, I’d felt a little lonely and confused. Hadn’t matured as fast, but also had recently learned that I was on the asexual spectrum, demisexual, meaning I only really wanted to have sex with people I felt a connection to. It made so much sense now, looking back, but as a kid, watching my brother throw himself at the world searching for love, I’d felt a little betrayed. Like I hadn’t been enough for him, even if our relationship wasn’t the same.

I’d enlisted to escape feeling different, missing my brother, even when he’d never left me. When I was younger, I had looked at him and thought, why can’t I be more like Lukas? Then home from serving and I had still thought that. Steady, stable Lukas, with goals, assets, and a solid girlfriend. But that was all a front, wasn’t it? He could see ghosts too. My relationship with Micah more stable most days than his with Sky. Lukas seemed afraid to commit. I’d have to talk to him about that. I adored Sky, wanted her to be happy, but if they weren’t right for each other, there was no reason to force the issue.

I wondered briefly if my relationship with Micah, as solid as it was, made him jealous now, and that’s why Lukas had gotten hostile to Micah. Similar to what I’d felt before I’d enlisted, when he’d been dating a lot, and I’d been floundering.

Stupid Lukas needed to talk to me more. I’d drag him to therapy with me if I had to. But he was alive, and I could be grateful for that, even if I wanted to stomp on his face a little. We had the chance to start over, try again. He was my brother and I’d do just about anything for him. I clearly remembered that day in the mental ward, after failed drugs, and standing on the verge of being permanently institutionalized. He’d shown up like an angel of mercy, not asking for anything, and wrapping his arms around me. The brother I had missed for decades, pulling me back from the edge. Could I do the same for him now? I hoped so.

Micah shoved himself into the chair beside me, adding warmth to one side. “Fuck, you’re warm,” I said glancing his way. My dad was gone.

“Your dad went to get food.” Micah touched my face, his hands tracing my cheeks and lips. “How are you feeling? Warm enough? I still think we should have someone look at you.”

“No doctors,” I said. “Hate doctors. I’m not crazy.” It had become my refrain. Like repeating it could make it real. But apparently, I was a magnet for ghosts, or a battery, who knew? I saw them. Now Micah saw them sometimes. Insane or not, it felt real.

“I know.” Micah grabbed my hand and squeezed, thumb running on the back of it in soothing strokes.

I had to drag my gaze from Lukas, watching his chest rise and fall in sleep to look at Micah. “What did you see in the den?”

Micah let out a long sigh. “Lukas…”

I blinked at him. Lukas had been underwater, under a board in the floor. There was no way Micah could have seen him without pulling up the door. “How?”

“He was there. Sort of faded?” Micah swallowed hard and I studied his face. He looked tired and resigned. “I didn’t used to see stuff.”

“Sorry,” I said fast, thinking that it was probably my fault he wasn’t only feeling things anymore.

“I was afraid he was dead. That I was seeing his ghost. I panicked. He sank into the floor and I started tearing up the rug.” He took a shaky breath, tears turning his eyes watery. “I thought he was dead.”

I leaned into Micah and kissed him lightly. “Thank you for saving my brother.”

“I didn’t, you did.”

“Only because you found him.”

Micah let out a long sigh, his breath warm on my face. “I’m sad that he hates me for loving you.”

“We’re going to talk about that once he’s back on his feet,” I resolved. “We’ll be talking about a lot of this shit. What he sees. His jealousy over us, which is totally unfair as he set us up. How he treats Sky. Everything. I’m onto him.”

“Yeah?”

“Mr. Perfect, not so perfect.”

Micah snorted. “I think you’re the only one who thought he was perfect.”

“I think my dad thought he was too.”

“Then your dad is an idiot. The past six months of us together, you have been the more stable and reliable of the two of you. How many times has Lukas had to call Brad to cover his shift at the shop? Or did you take over a day for him when it was supposed to be your day off?” Micah asked. “I wonder if Jojo wants fulltime hours. Tours will start soon. If Lukas won’t help, I need more people. I pay well.” Between the tours, the classes, the online store, and the retail shop, it was pretty wildly busy. Never enough hands, but he paid almost triple minimum wage, and as far as I knew, he was one of the only ones in the Quarter who did.

“You do pay well,” I agreed. He curled up against me, resting his head on my shoulder. “I’d do it all for snuggles.”

“Stay with me,” he said quietly.

“That’s the plan,” I agreed. Neither one of us talked about the black-eyed child appearing in the hallway outside the door. I didn’t want to think that it was waiting for a time to take me and use me again. I owed it after all, for helping me save my brother. But I would cross that bridge when I came to it.