Page 37 of Personal Foul (The San Diego Storm #3)

Carson

I stood watching until Colin disappeared from view. Moving to savor every second I could, I knew it was pointless. It was time to face the reality that he was gone for now, even though I knew he was coming back. We hadn’t spent more than a few hours apart in six months.

And I already hated the separation.

My phone vibrated in my hand with an incoming text. Holding it up, I smiled through damp eyes as I read his name.

Colin: Through TSA.

Me: Good.

Colin: Are you okay?

Me: Fuck no. Are you?

Colin: No. Not at all.

Colin: But I’m an expert at hiding my feelings. Or I was. Until you.

My chest squeezed at his words. I never wanted him to hide anything from me.

Me: I’m glad I could change that for you.

Colin: Me too, love.

This was excruciating. Why the fuck couldn’t things go our way?

Me: I’m staying here until your plane leaves.

Colin: You don’t have to do that.

Colin: You should go home and sleep.

Tears welled in my eyes.

Me: What’s the use? You’re not there.

I swallowed down the emotion, trying to convince myself this was only temporary. But my heart didn’t know the difference between two minutes and two weeks. All it wanted was him.

Me: I know it’s silly.

Colin: Not silly at all. I understand completely.

I knew he did. Neither of us slept last night, and until the exhaustion forced me to sleep, I’d fill my waking hours trying to find out what the problem was. Jonah was probably going to wish he’d never taken us on as a client.

We texted until it was time for him to board. When he sent the final text that he had to turn off his phone, his leaving came crashing down on me again.

Me: I love you so much.

Colin: I love you too. I’ll text when I’m in LA. Got a while there before I board my flight to Sydney.

I shook my head, but didn’t reply. I pulled open the flight tracker app, then set up the notifications for both his flights. Stuffing my phone in my pocket, I took a deep breath and headed for the parking lot.

I’d never felt so empty in my life. My chest hurt, and breathing wasn’t going well.

When I got to the car at the end of the parking lot, I broke down and let it all out.

I don’t know how long I sat there, sobbing over my steering wheel.

But the notification of the flight taking off brought me back to reality.

It was time to head home to Bella and Allister.

I was lost in thought during the drive back to the house.

How I got home, I wasn’t sure. These feelings were so overpowering that I didn’t know what to do with them.

All of this was new, and I was completely out of my depth.

I just had to feel it and own my pain, but also know in my heart he wasn’t gone forever.

When I pulled up at my house, a very familiar BMW sat in my driveway. I got out to meet my friend.

Rounding the front of my Rover, I’d never been happier to see a friendly face. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought I’d come check on you,” Evan said. “I knew today was going to be rough.”

Just when I thought I had it together, I didn’t. Evan pulled me into his arms for a hug, and I lost the battle with the tears again.

“I know, buddy,” he said, hugging me tightly. “That’s how I felt every time I took Hudson and the kids to the airport. I knew in my head it was unavoidable, but my heart didn’t agree. Even though he wasn’t going ten thousand miles away, it might as well have been.”

I wiped at my eyes and pulled back to lean against my car. “How did I let this happen?”

Evan laughed. “You had no choice in the matter. Just like I didn’t.”

I huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, I guess.”

I looked around and took a shuddering breath. “It wasn’t supposed to go this way, Ev. He followed the rules and did all the things the attorney told him to do. I just don’t fucking understand. Maybe if I did, it wouldn’t hurt so much.”

I pinched the bone between my eyes and took a deep breath. A headache was forming.

“When does it stop hurting, Evan?”

I looked up into his understanding eyes. “It doesn’t. That’s how you know it’s the real thing.”

I covered my mouth with the palm of my hand, then removed it. “I’m not a crier, Ev. And no matter what I do, I can’t seem to stop.”

He shook his head. “I’ve been there. The hardest part is knowing he’s hurting, too.”

I chuckled. “Colin doesn’t let his pain show.”

Evan pulled out his phone and found what he was looking for. He smiled and handed me his phone.

“No, but he had no problem telling me.”

I took his phone and saw a text from my boyfriend.

Colin: Hey, mate. Can you do me a favor and check on Carson? He’s hurting and I can’t stand it. Just make sure he’s okay until I can get back, ya?

I dropped my chin to my chest and covered my face with my hand. “How the fuck did I fall for a man who lives ten thousand fucking miles away?”

Evan chuckled. “He’s the best thing that's ever happened to you, Carson. You smile more and you’re fucking happier than I’ve ever seen you.

But here’s the thing. The difference between your story and mine is that me and Hud had no choice but to be apart.

You do. Do whatever you have to do, get on a flight, and go to him.

There’s nothing standing in your way except the hours it takes to get there. ”

I nodded, trying to think with my sleep-deprived brain. “Yeah. You’re right. But I’d have to get a visa. And then there’s the animals. I have both of them.”

Evan smiled. “Charter a plane. Take the dog and cat. You’re loaded, man. Make it happen.”

With a renewed sense of hope, I grabbed him up into my arms and hugged him. “Thanks, Evan.”

He patted me on the back. “Any time, buddy. That’s what friends do.”