Page 35 of Personal Foul (The San Diego Storm #3)

Carson

W e went into January on top of the world.

We were solid as a couple and making plans while our team kicked ass in the playoffs.

But as each week passed, and we heard nothing about the status of his visa, our focus began to slip.

We’d held off San Francisco by the skin of our teeth.

And now we had to face the Portland Pirates again during Alex Hayes’ final season.

I was ready to lose my mind by Friday afternoon. We knew the process could take ten to fourteen days for him to be notified. But two weeks had passed, and now we were at the end of week three. If he didn’t have something by Monday, we’d be out of time.

“Something has to be wrong, Jonah. I can feel it. I should have heard something.”

His attorney sighed on the other end of the phone. Colin had put the call on speakerphone for me. “Unfortunately, sometimes delays happen. Take into consideration the timing of the holidays and the beginning of the year.”

He was pacing again. “I don’t give a fuck about those things. I paid the money to get it expedited. What happens if I don’t have it by Monday?”

Jonah was quiet for a moment before he responded. “You’ll need to leave the country.”

Colin fisted his hands in his hair and tightened his jaw. “What happens if I don’t leave?”

I shook my head, knowing the answer to that. I’d already spoken to my parents about other options, and there wasn’t anything either of them could do. Not even my mother.

“As your attorney, I don’t advise you to do that. You’ll never be able to get back in if you violate the terms. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but you only have one option.”

My throat seized up. I didn’t want to hear it, but we couldn’t bury our heads in the sand. That wouldn’t rectify anything.

Colin locked his eyes on mine. I’d never felt more helpless in my life as fear and pain surfaced on his face. “I have to go back.”

“Yes,” Jonah sighed. “It’s Friday evening, and the chances of hearing anything now are slim. Make a reservation. You can always cancel if something changes.”

We stared at each other as Jonah disconnected the call.

“What are we gonna do now?” His voice cracked with unshed tears.

Closing the distance, I wrapped him up in my arms. I kissed his lips and then his face. “We’re gonna be okay. We’ll get through this, and we’ll be okay. I promise.”

Colin didn’t reply. He burrowed his face into my neck and held me tightly.

Things went from bad to worse.

We sat in Mr. Carlisle’s office with Coach Henderson early Sunday morning. He’d received no word, and we both were a fucking mess.

“I fucking hate this,” Coach said.

“As do I,” Mr. Carlisle added. “Whatever has caused the processing delay does not affect you on our end. We’ll get this figured out, and you’ll be able to return with our sponsorship.

My legal team will do whatever it takes to get you back here, Colin.

You’re a part of this team and the Storm family. Just keep that in mind.”

I held his hand as he nodded. “Thank you, sir. I appreciate it.”

We left his office and went down to the locker room. Lennox and Evan were there, along with Mason and Drew. Our friends arrived early once they knew what was happening.

“Hey, guys. How are you doing?” Lennox asked.

I looked at the floor, trying to control myself. “Fucking terrible.”

Colin was quiet, but nodded. He sat down in my stall with his head in his hands. I sat next to him and put my arm over his shoulders.

“I know this doesn’t help,” Evan said, “but I understand more than you know. If I can do anything to help, I’m here.”

“One thing we can do, I score a fuck ton of points, and keep the heat off the defense,” Lennox said.

“We got this,” Drew added. “Don’t worry.”

They didn’t have it. Our defensive game with Portland was a shitshow.

I was all over the place, short-tempered, and a fucking mess.

I’d never allowed anything to interfere with my professionalism.

But I also hadn’t been in love with my teammate or been on the verge of losing him.

We both tried to focus, but every time I looked up at the scoreboard, all I fixated on was the clock ticking down.

By halftime, we were down 28-14. Coach talked a good game, but I’d missed tackles and Colin let Greg Foster, Portland’s big tight end, slip through his fingers.

The Pirates wanted it more than we did, and I felt like a failure for letting my team down.

But when I looked across the locker room and saw the love of my life, it just didn’t matter anymore.

I wanted him more than a trip to the Super Bowl, and no matter how hard I tried to get into the game, I failed.

We ended up losing 49-28. Portland’s defense was spot on, even without their linebacker, Patrick Griffin. Declan Miller, Portland’s running back, found holes in our line and secondary that we couldn’t plug.

At the end of the game, we met them in the middle of the field. Colin was by my side, taking advantage of every moment we had. The stadium and everyone in it fell away.

“I wanted to speak to Alex, then we can go. Want to meet him?”

He shook his head. “No. I’ll meet you in the locker room.”

I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I love you. Don’t forget that.”

His head bounced as his eyes clouded. “I’m sorry I wasn’t more help.”

“Baby,” I crooned, trying to hold it in. “This isn’t on you. This is on all of us. We’re a team, not a one-man show. And they just wanted it more than we did.”

Colin swallowed thickly. “Yeah. Okay.”

I wasn’t sure he believed me, but I’d have time to convince him later when we got home.

His hand slipped from mine as he turned and walked toward the tunnel.

“Kearney,” I called, my voice cracking. I was trying not to lose it here on the field.

Colin turned and looked at me. “I love you.”

He smiled sadly. “I know. And I love you.”

I watched as he made his way to the tunnel, then disappeared from my view.

I walked around until I found Alex with his husband and kids. I wished Colin had stayed to meet them, but I only needed a moment to pay my respects to the first openly queer NFL quarterback.

When I walked up, my friend patted me on the shoulder and shook hands with Alex. “Good luck, man. We’re pulling for you to win it all.”

He smiled. “Thanks again, Lennox. I appreciate it.”

Lennox turned to me. “I’ll see you in the locker room.”

I nodded as he walked away, then Alex spoke.

“Lennox was telling me about what happened. I’m really sorry,” he said. “I’m not sure I would have played as well as you did if I got news like that.”

I smiled. “Thanks, but I’m happy you get to go out with the bowl.”

He smiled, then held his hand out. When I took it, he pulled me into a hug. “Hang in there, man. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe this means there’s a better solution to his immigration problems you haven’t considered.”

As the press swarmed around us, and the on-field ceremony was about to start, I shook his hand and headed to Colin.

When I got back to the locker room, he was waiting. Freshly showered and dressed in his suit, he was talking to Lucas. I shoved down all my jealousy and headed to the shower. Making quick work of it, I hurried and returned to my stall to dress.

Coach came in and everyone settled down. This was the end of our season, and as much as I wanted to get out of there, I knew he’d want to say a few words.

I glanced over at Lennox, who hung his head as he finished dressing. Evan was stoic as well.

“Gentleman, you’ve had a hell of a season, and I’m proud of the things we accomplished.

Winning the conference again this year was quite a feat.

The new people we brought into our family complemented us more than I ever expected.

Although it didn’t end how we wanted, it gives us something to work for next season.

With your help, we’ll be better and stronger. Enjoy your offseason. You deserve it.”

When Coach left the locker room, I looked over at Colin, who was shaking hands with some of our teammates. The word had gotten around that he was going back. Glances landed on me, where I tried to quell the growing unease in my gut.

After he’d made the rounds to everyone, including our friends, he walked to me, his team duffle hanging on his shoulder. I stood and looked into his brown eyes. “Ready to go home?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I need to finish packing.”

I picked up my bag and held out my hand. He slipped his into mine and walked to the car.

The ride was quiet, and when we got home, he stood in the family room with his hands in his pockets and looked around.

“Can you return the car to the leasing agent? I should have done that Friday, but…” he trailed off.

I nodded. “Whatever you need.”

He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. “I hate this. I goddamn fucking hate this.”

I went to him and held him in my arms. “You act as if you’re not coming back.”

He gripped me tightly. “There’s a chance I won’t. Things don’t go well for me, Carson. Look at my life. Nothing has ever gone my way until I came here.”

I held him out and looked him in the eyes. “Then I’ll come to you. In fact, I should be going with you now. Why the fuck didn’t I think of that? All of this means nothing to me without you.”

Colin reached up and stroked my face. “There was no reason to think this would happen. And ya can’t just pick up and go, love. You’ve got a commitment to our team. If we had won, they would have needed you.”

My eyes filled with tears. “They need you, too. I need you. And I refuse to lose you. So stop trying to fucking break my heart.”

He leaned in and pressed his mouth to mine. “Okay. I’ll try. But I’m used to losing everything that means anything to me. This is what hope gets you. A broken heart.”

I shook my head emphatically. “This is not us breaking up. It’s you going back to take care of things, then coming back to me. And Bella. And Allister.”

He smiled. “Are you stealing my cat, St. James?”

“No. This is his home. There’s no reason to drag him back to Australia, just to come right back.”

His throat bobbed. “And what if I can’t? What then?”

I cupped his face and looked into his red eyes. “Then I’ll bring us all to you. And you can’t stop me.”

I wiped away a tear with my thumb. “So bossy,” he said, gripping me tighter.

“So in love,” I whispered, and brought his lips to mine.