Page 38 of Paper Flowers (Stonebrook #1)

“We talked about having babies together, shouldn’t we start living our lives in the same home as a family?” I’d give her as many babies as she wants and if she wants a dog or a kitten, even a bunny— it’s hers. I don’t want to waste another second without her next to me.

“What will you tell Sadie? She just got comfortable with the idea of me being around, now she’s going to see me when she wakes up?”

“I’ll talk to her. She might like the idea and if she doesn’t, then we can come back to this conversation another time. But I want to at least try first.” I said as I kissed her forehead.

There’s something she wants to say because she’s fidgeting with her nails.

“Let me in, Dayna.”

“Nothing will make me happier than to be a part of your family.”

“I’ll talk to her tomorrow.” I reach for the dishes and head to the sink.

“You gave me orgasms and now you’re doing the dishes?”

“It’s the least I can do for you Baby.”

Once the dishes are done and put away, I gather my overalls and fix my hair. I know what Dayna meant leaving her here is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I need to go home to Sadie but I know we’re going to need to have a conversation about one of us moving in.

“Sadie’s grandparents are going to wonder if you lost the battle to the paint brushes.” She said as she started giggling.

“You have definitely been hanging around Sadie Girl.” Bringing Dayna in for a hug, I wrap my arms around the small of her back and rest my chin on the crown of her head.

“Thank you for an amazing day. Things are starting to fall in the right places and I couldn’t be happier than I am right here, right now. ”

Dayna tugs me in closer and gently rubs her hands down my back. “There is no place I’d rather be than here in your arms.”

Nina and William left early this morning. Sadie fell back to sleep after they left our house. I was able to get some work done and do some laundry since our clothes were piling up. She’s great at helping, so I left some clothes out for her to fold.

As I was texting Dayna laying on my sofa, Sadie woke up and cuddled next to me. It’s a little past eleven in the morning and I hear her tummy rumble. “Is my Sadie Girl hungry?”

“I’m starving Daddy, can I have my leftovers from Road to Italy?”

“I’ll warm it up, go wash your hands.” Sadie skips to the downstairs bathroom and I head to the kitchen. I open up the container and it’s Tiramisu. “Sadie!” I called out.

“When you say leftovers, do you mean dessert?” I hear her giggling, I should have known.

“I didn’t say it was my dinner. I didn’t get to eat it when we got home. Grandpa read me a story, and I got so sleepy.” She pleads. She’s digging into her dessert and I cut up some strawberries for her. I don’t even ease into the conversation, I just ask her flat out.

“Would you like to have Dayna spend the night with us?”

“You mean we get to have sleepovers on school days?”

“If that’s something you’re okay with.”

“I don’t like when she has to drive home at night.

I get scared something will happen to her.

” She said, pushing her strawberries around.

I suddenly feel like I can’t breathe. My chest is tightening and I feel like my heart is beating in slow motion.

Does she get anxiety from Dayna leaving at night?

It never crossed my mind to let her know Dayna gets home safely.

“Sadie, do you worry about Dayna when she leaves our house?” I ask her softly, pushing her brown wavy hair out of her face. She nods her head.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have let you know she was okay.” She wraps her arms around me and hugs me tighter .

“Mommy left to take pictures for work and she never came back to me. When Dayna leaves, I feel sad because what if she never comes back and we’re missing two people.”

“How long have you felt this way?”

“When we had dessert at home, she left when I was asleep, but I really wanted her to stay here where she was safe.”

That was a few weeks ago. Dayna has left my house several times since then. Depending on the day that she’s here with us, Sadie is already asleep for the night when she leaves.

“I’m so sorry you were worrying about this alone. I’m here for you, Sadie Girl.” She hasn’t cried recently and I don’t want this to set her off.

“Can Dayna still sleepover with us?” She asks in an unsure voice.

I don’t answer her right away. I’m sitting at the dining room table wondering what other feelings Sadie is potentially hiding from me.

She has another session with Dean this week.

Although, his recent behavior has shown a different side of him lately.

He doesn’t seem like the type to withhold information from parents.

But then, none of the other parents are dating his ex-wife.

With Sadie staring at me waiting to answer, I clear her plate and put it in the dishwasher.

“Some time this week. I’ll make meatloaf for dinner.” I finally replied.

Sadie and I are lounging on the sofa, and she’s scrolling through my music app making a new playlist. She picks a couple songs, and I pick some more.

Our drive to school only gives us maybe one or two songs to listen to in the morning.

So when I’m warming up my truck, I’ll hit play before we leave.

I can’t help but wonder if she’s making a playlist for Dayna.

“I like the song Drops of Jupiter .” Sadie said as she tapped on the plus sign to add it. She scrolls back up and hands me my phone. “Dayna texted you. ”

I open the messaging app and tap her name.

Dayna: Are you and Sadie hungry? Cara and I just finished shopping for the Christmas Program.

We are, what do you have in mind?

Dayna: Since we haven’t had pizza in a while, I was thinking we could pick up some and head over to your place?

That sounds good.

Dayna: See you in a bit.

The doorbell rings and Sadie jogs downstairs. “I saw Dayna’s car!” Her footsteps pound along the stairs. “Slow down before you trip.” I call out standing in front of the door. I open it and see Dayna and Cara with two pizza boxes.

“Dayna! And Cara? With Pizza?” Sadie said cheerfully.

“Little Beckett! How’s my favorite girl?

” Cara says as she walks through the door holding the pizza.

Dayna walks in afterwards and I give her a kiss.

I instantly have a flashback from last night and I know she did too because her face is crimson.

We meet Sadie and Cara in the kitchen and I bring our plates to the dining room table.

Cara sits next to Sadie and they’re talking about the Amelia Bedelia books.

Dayna is next to me and I put my hand on her thigh.

She’s wearing black jeans, a white shirt and a long gray cardigan.

Her hair is up in a small ponytail falling out of place as if she’s had a long shopping day.

I put my arm over the back of her chair and lean in.

“I need to talk to you after dinner.”

Her eyes snap to meet mine and I know she’s thinking the worst. I shake my head in a reassuring way. “Daddy, can I show Cara my bookcase?” Sadie asks loudly.

“We’re going to measure how much more room she needs for the pile of books she wants for Christmas.” Cara says as they’re both rushing to the stairs.

“If we get another bookcase in your room, there’s not going to be enough space to sleep in there, Sadie!” I call out as I hear both their feet ascending the stairs.

Dayna and I clean off the table and head to the sofa. It’s become our routine together and I love doing everyday things with her. She’s laying down next to me with her hand over my chest.

“I think Sadie has anxiety.”

I say without any warning. Dayna sits up to face me. Her eyes are bouncing side to side trying to read my emotions.

“I talked to her about you sleeping over and she told me she gets worried about you when you have to drive at night.” I fill her in about how Sadie has become apprehensive when it comes to being in a vehicle.

But I thought she was feeling comfortable again.

I tell Dayna how Sadie is worried she might lose her, like she lost her mother.

My voice cracks and the knot in my throat is hard to swallow.

She puts her arms around my neck and hugs me tightly.

“It’s starting to make sense to me. The night we went out to dinner, you left while she was asleep. When she woke up in the morning, it was almost as if she was expecting to see you. She looked upset when I said you went home.” I say as I’m holding onto her.

“She has a session with Dean this week. I’m going to talk to him about it. I know it’s not what he wants to hear but I trust that he can put aside personal feelings.” I say.

“And if he can’t, I’ll bring in someone from Stonebrook Middle School.” She replied.

Feeling the weight of it sink in, I try to alleviate the pain by asking Dayna when she plans on spending the night here .

“Tuesday. Since the School Board meetings are held at Stonebrook Elementary, I have to be at the meeting on Wednesday, I won’t be home until after eight.”

“Okay, so Tuesday, I’ll make dinner and then we can hang out by the fire pit in the backyard.”

“I can’t wait.” She said as she kissed me.

I hear Sadie and Cara coming back downstairs and Sadie must have done Cara’s makeup because she looks like something I would have painted. I see Sadie’s cheeky smile like she knows it looks terrible. I can’t help but let out a laugh.

“Little Beckett, you need better makeup brushes.” Cara says as she soothes her face with a damped wash cloth that Sadie hands her.

“Those are her paint brushes that Dayna bought her.” Now I’m rolling.

“Well, I know what I’m getting her for Christmas, now.” Cara said proudly.

“Are you ready to go?” Dayna asks Cara.

“Yeah, I need to finish my lesson plans tonight. Only five more weeks until Christmas break. I don’t count Thanksgiving’s week because it goes by so fast.” Cara tells her.

“Come on Sadie, let’s walk the girls out to Dayna’s car.” Sadie jumps on my back so I can give her a piggyback ride.

Once we’re outside, it looks like the fog is rolling in early.

I open Cara’s door first and she says bye to me and Sadie.

I walk over to Dayna’s side and open her door.

I give her a quick kiss on her forehead and Sadie reaches over to try to hug her bye.

Dayna reaches to hold Sadie’s hand and gives her a little squeeze.

“I’ll talk to you soon.” She said as she was getting into her car.

I’m getting Sadie’s clothes ready for tomorrow when my phone rings and I see that it’s Dayna.

“Hey Baby, what’s up?”

“I was wondering if I can speak to Sadie really quickly. ”

“Sure, she’s right here.” I hand Sadie the phone and tell her it’s Dayna.

“Hi Dayna!”

I see the way she’s listening to Dayna talk and her eyes light up. She nods her head and says “Good night Dayna.” She gives me the phone and I walk out to the Loft and sit on the loveseat I have up here. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, of course, I wanted to let Sadie know that I’m home and Cara is sleeping over with me, so she’s safe too.”

“Baby…” I can’t put into words what that means to me, what that means to my daughter. My chest is wide open. I need to tell her how much I love her but I refuse to do it over the phone.

“... Do you know how amazing you are?”

“Is she feeling better? I know a phone call won’t solve it completely, I just thought it could help ease her worries.”

“Yeah, Baby, she’s feeling better. Thank you.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, good night, Luke.”

“Sweet dreams. Dayna.”