Page 31 of Paper Flowers (Stonebrook #1)

“Dayna, are you going to stay with us to eat dessert?” She’s now gripping the top of the bag as if it’s going to fly away.

I get my phone out and check the time. It’s nearly 7 o’clock.

Have we really been together all afternoon?

Luke is staring at me like he’s willing me to say yes.

“I think that would be the only way to eat Tiramisu.”

Luke closes her door and stops before opening mine. Closing me in between him and his truck, he’s resting his arm against the door above my head blocking any view Sadie might have.

“Let me know what happened in there. Where did your mind take you?” He gazes at me and without even thinking, we’re holding hands. He rubs his thumb along mine, “Let me in.”

“Can we talk about it after dessert?”

“Sure.”

He opens the door with his free hand while he squeezes his hand in mine three times before he lets go.

That stopped me from moving for a split second.

It was something he would do when we were younger, to let me know he loved me.

“I want to let you know that ‘I love you’ when we are unable to say it out loud.” He would remind me over and over until it was something so natural for us.

He either did it out of habit or he really does love me.

I get in and he closes the door behind me.

Sadie is squirming in her seat just itching to get home and dig into her dessert.

Luke turns on the radio and it’s tuned into a country genre station.

“That was absolutely delicious, thank you, Daddy!” Sadie walks over to Luke’s side of the dining table and gives him a hug. “You’re welcome, Sadie Girl.” She drinks her glass of milk and then throws away her to-go container.

“Can I watch a movie in my room for a little while?”

“Yeah, but first brush your teeth and put on your pajamas.” He kisses the top of her head and she then walks over to me, “Thank you for having dinner with us again. It was fun sharing my memories of my mommy with you.” Sadie said as she bounces away towards the staircase.

Gosh. That little girl has left a permanent mark on my soul.

With Sadie out of view, Luke kisses my forehead before he starts cleaning up.

After Luke cleaned off the dining room table and washed the dishes, we settled down on his living room sofa.

We have a clear view of the stairs in case Sadie comes downstairs.

It is the softest sectional sofa I have ever sat on.

The dark gray brings in the photo frames and personal trinkets from places I’m sure Sadie and her mom visited before.

Luke has his legs propped up on the ottoman with his arm around my shoulders. It feels unreal sitting here with him. I start to feel the overwhelming feeling of being inadequate again. I shift in my seat. “Let me in, Dayna.” Luke leaning whispers in my ear.

“What if this doesn’t work out?” My voice is already betraying me and I hardly hear what he says because my heart is beating so damn loud in my ears.

“Are you having second thoughts about us?” He says a bit louder than a minute ago and I know this is going to hurt us both.

“I—I want this with you and Sadie but I’m terrified of messing up your relationship with your daughter. What I’m trying to say is…is this a good idea for us to be together?”

“What is it that you really want to say? Because that is exactly what you told me when you ended things between us and never looked back.” The sound of hurt in his voice carries into my heart.

“You need to figure out what you really want, because I can’t do this with you again, Dayna.

It’s not just me anymore. I have a responsibility to my daughter, and I can’t have her get attached more than she already has to someone who is half way out the door.

I fucking loved you so much, Dayna. I wanted us to work, but you didn’t.

Did you ever think about me, the way I thought of you? ”

Luke stands up from the sofa and has his hands running through his hair. It hurt so badly to give up both my first love and one of my best friends. I have to tell him what really happened and I feel sick.

“Of course I thought about you, Luke! I thought about you every single day until it consumed me.” I try to say in a hushed tone because the last thing I want to do is have this conversation.

“I thought what I was doing was the right thing for us and for my family.”

“What does your family have to do with us being together?” He said as he stared at me waiting for my answer.

With regretful eyes, I’m about to tell Luke Beckett the reason I had to let him go.

How I was forced to end things. It wasn’t the easiest choice, but I thought it was the right one.

I take a deep breath and look him in the eyes.

“Do you remember the week of your college scouting game? My period was late, and I was scared that I was pregnant. I took a test, and it was positive. Before I could even tell you, I needed to know without a doubt if we were going to have a baby.”

I couldn’t stay sitting down any longer so I stand up and I begin to pace his living room. Luke reaches out and grabs my hands. He stops me from pacing and gently uses his thumbs to stroke the back of my hands to calm me down.

“I asked Cara to go with me to my appointment. The doctor gave me a blood and urine test, he told me I wasn’t pregnant. He said the home test was a false positive, and he prescribed birth control pills.”

“When we were waiting at the pharmacy, Cara was talking about how cute our babies would be. I told her I could imagine telling you I’m pregnant with a tiny baseball jersey with your last name on the back.

Well, we must have not been talking low enough for the conversation to be between us because I turned around when the pharmacist called my name and I saw—” Sucking in a breath, I can’t get myself to say the rest. I shake my head and try to pull away. But Luke holds my hand to his chest.

“Who did you see, Dayna?”

“I saw your dad.”

“He was standing there staring right at me. He must have heard our conversation because after I paid for my birth control he called me over. I looked back at Cara and she was right beside me. He said” I can’t stand the look on his face. His jaw is clenched and his eyes are piercing through me .

It’s killing me.

“Don’t make me say it.”

“What did he tell you?” He whispers.

“Your dad was always so cold towards me and I felt so small in front of him. He asked me if I was pregnant, I shook my head. As if that didn’t satisfy him, he then asked if I was on birth control.

I shook my head, no, because technically I wasn’t.

I felt so embarrassed I couldn’t speak to explain.

Then he leaned into me so close Cara couldn’t hear what he told me. ”

“Go on, Baby.” Luke encourages me to continue. I let go of his hand and wipe underneath my eyes. He is standing so close I can feel the warmth of his body.

“He accused me of trying to trap you. He said he knew girls like me and only saw you as a meal ticket. I tried to talk, but it was paralyzing standing there vulnerable. I was so scared and hurt. I mean, I spent a whole week thinking I was having your baby, only to then be accused of trapping you. He wanted me to break up with you or else he’d ruin my family’s business and he’d call both our universities to have our scholarships revoked.

I know he is a successful businessman, and I didn’t want to see just how powerful he truly was.

I needed to help my parents pay for college.

They paid for Sienna’s college in full and the rent on the building was going up.

Luke, I—I loved you so much but I couldn’t let my family suffer because of me.

I couldn’t be the reason your career ended before it even began.

He told me that he knew you’d be drafted after college and you had a great career ahead of you.

You didn’t need anyone holding you back or tying you down with a responsibility that could have been prevented. ”

I can see his Adam’s apple bobble up and down like he’s holding back a yell or even a cry.

“Luke, honey, please say something.” The tears start pouring out of me and my body is shaking now.

I never wanted to break up with him, he has to know that now.

He has to understand, I didn’t have a choice.

He pulls me into his arms and his hand feels so comforting against the back of my head.

I let myself cry in front of the man I have loved since I was fifteen .

“Dayna, why didn’t you tell me? I would have been there for you, for us.

Nothing ever made sense to me, you were my best friend, you were my everything.

” He lifts my chin to look at him as he wipes away another tear falling down my face.

His blue eyes are bouncing eye to eye to mine and he is desperately trying to process everything.

“We talked about babies all the time. I know we were kids too but I would have never felt like you were trapping me. I’m the one that suggested we not wear protection.

I knew the risks we were taking. If you would have just talked to me, we could have worked through it.

I would have been at that pharmacy and stood up to my father for you.

I would have told him to fuck off and never speak to him again.

He had no right to pressure you into ending it.

If he wasn’t dead already, I would have knocked his ass to the ground.

I understand why you did it but it hurts so goddamn much.

I am so sorry you went through that all alone. I am so fucking sorry.”

What does he mean his father is dead? How do I not know this?

“Luke, what are you talking about? Your dad died?”

He looks at me like I have two heads when I’m the one that’s confused. He clears his throat and reaches behind his head to rub his neck.