Page 10 of Paper Flowers (Stonebrook #1)

CHAPTER FIVE

LUKE

S eeing Dayna blush the way she did all those years ago hits me harder than I expected.

It knocks something loose in me–something I thought I buried long ago.

Does she still feel something for me? God, I shouldn’t even ask that.

Not now. Not like this. She wouldn’t if she knew how broken I really am.

Even if things were different…even if the timing wasn’t so wrong. I can’t explore those thoughts.

It’s almost been a year since I lost Juliette.

I have to get through Sadie’s birthday, then the anniversary of Juliette’s death.

One foot in front of the other–that’s how I’ve survived this long.

But this pull I feel when it comes to Dayna?

It’s dangerous. It shouldn’t be on my mind.

She broke up with me. God, this is so fucked up.

I spot Cara down the hallway of classrooms and I jog to catch up with her.

I shout “Ms. Davis!” And Cara turns to see me and she starts laughing.

“Mr. Luke Beckett, it’s so good to see you now that my headache has gone away.

” She looked at me with a subtle expression and I threw my head back in a laugh.

“A headache, gotcha. Yeah, it’s good to see you’re not wincing at the sound of my voice.

I almost took it personally. Dayna told me about your sleepover last night. That must have been fun. ”

As I step in sync with Cara, a wave of nostalgia washes over me, taking me back to high school, walking through those familiar hallways. It’s hard to believe that now, we’re the ones in charge, standing on the other side of the classroom as teachers.

“So you’ve spoken to Dayna today? How did that go?

” She asks. “It went well, it was fairly quick, I asked Mrs. Emily for a new key card. Mine was broken.” She nods her head and stops walking.

“Luke, I know she’s too nice to ask, but I gotta know.

How did you end up here? Don’t get me wrong, you’re a blast from the past but what is your story? ”

Wow. Leave it to Cara Davis to be so blunt.

I forgot how she was a straight to the point, no bullshit kind of girl.

Glad to see that hasn’t changed. I adjust my glasses and there are a couple students walking from the cafeteria.

“My wife, Juliette, died last year. I couldn’t handle one more day in the house we built.

So I moved my daughter and I to Stonebrook.

” Putting my hands in my pocket because I felt so exposed.

I’ve said this three times in two days and the words in my mouth taste as awful as it did last year.

I fucking hate it. I miss her so much. I closed my eyes because I hate seeing the look on Cara’s face.

The one look I so desperately tried to escape from.

If you ever wanted an honest opinion, Cara’s the person you go to.

She’s the one I talked to about Dayna when I started feeling like I was falling for her.

Cara helped me ask her to Prom, twice . She would have been the person I went to, to help me pick a ring out for Dayna, but we never made it that far.

So the look on her face tells me she is regretting ever asking me what my story was.

Cara Davis is one who never regrets anything.

Cara wrapped her arms around my waist for a hug I didn’t know I needed.

She didn’t say anything until she pulled away from me.

Dabbing at her eyes, she looks up and wipes underneath her eyelashes.

“Gosh, Luke. I am so sorry. That was really not what I thought you were going to say.” I consoled her and let her know it was okay.

“I’m assuming Dayna doesn’t know the reason why you’re here but Dean does.

” I nod in agreement. She assumed right.

We talked about my life and she talked about hers. She got her degree and moved here when Dayna and Dean did a few years back. I know those two are a package deal and I am so glad they’re still friends. “I noticed you haven’t asked about her divorce.”

“I’m afraid I won’t like the answer and you wouldn’t tell me even if I asked.”

“You’re right.” That makes my stomach twist with nausea, knowing it could have a double meaning.

“Go easy on her, she may not have dealt with a loss the same magnitude as yours but her heart is fragile. Deep down, she’s still the same girl you knew all those years ago— with a little more sass.”

“Cara, I’d prefer to tell Dayna myself about why I’m here,” I say as we reach her classroom. “I understand, but I think you should tell her soon. She’d want to be there for you and Sadie.”

She said sympathetically. “Which I might add is so stinking cute! She must get that from her mom.” Cara adds light-heartedly. “She certainly does take after her mom.” I say proudly. It feels good to know I opened up to an old friend.

After talking with Cara, I felt like opening up more might actually help me heal.

If I can start to heal myself, maybe I’ll be able to help my little girl too.

I know I can’t take away the pain of her missing her mother, but I can help her understand that, somehow, everything will be okay.

The first step is planning Sadie’s birthday.

My door opens and I see Sadie walking in and she looks like she had another great day, but after yesterday’s breakdown, I tread lightly.

“Hey Sadie Girl, how was your day? What was your favorite part?” I say carefully.

“Hi Daddy, my day was good, I really liked what you packed me for lunch. Mommy would be happy you made my sandwich the way she did.” Damn it, Sadie doesn’t know how much that means to me.

I tried my best to make them how she made our sandwiches.

I locked up my classroom and Sadie and I are headed to the front office to tell Mrs. Emily bye.

It’s Friday and I know everyone had a long two days of school.

Sadie runs ahead of me in the hallway and I see Caleb walk out of his classroom with his daughter Kelsey.

“Hey Luke!” He gives Sadie a high five that she jumps into. “Hey Caleb, excited for the weekend?”

“It’s only day two, and I am exhausted. So— hey, a few of us are going out to Alfredo’s Pizza later if you and Sadie want to stop by.

I’ll be taking my wife and Kelsey would love to hang out with Sadie.

What do you say?” It would be nice to get to know everyone outside of school and have Sadie play with kids her own age.

“Yeah, that sounds good, what time?”

“We’re all meeting at 6 PM. It’s a little place up the road next to Lime A Dozen .”

“Does pizza sound good for dinner, Sadie?” Sadie jumps up and down as she says “pizza sounds really good!”

“Well, we will both see you there, thanks Caleb!”

Mrs. Emily is packing up her work bag when we reach the front office and she amazes me every time I walk in. “Well hello there, you two, how was your day?”

“It was really fun, Daddy finally learned how to make my sandwiches the way my mommy did.”

Mrs. Emily gave Sadie a sympathetic look and I should have known Sadie told her yesterday.

She’s very understanding and clearly cares deeply.

This is only knowing her for two days. I cannot imagine how her relationships with everyone else is.

“Well isn’t that lovely, Sadie.” Mrs. Emily says with such joy.

The same joy I feel knowing I made Sadie happy over a sandwich.

I look to the right and see Dayna’s office door is closed, and the light is off. A ping of disappointment in my chest zaps through me. I rub my chest as if I can rub the feeling out from under me. Shuffling to the front exit, Sadie reaches to hold my hand.

“Are you going to Alfredo’s tonight?” Mrs. Emily asks without looking at me.

We stopped at the doorway to answer her.

“Sadie and I will be there.” She finally turns to us and says “I’ll be there too, can’t pass up a delicious pie from Freddy.

” I can’t help but laugh a little. “See you soon, Mrs. Emily.”

It is a little after 5 PM and I tell Sadie to get ready.

She wants to wear a princess sweater and leggings with her pink converse.

I changed into my charcoal gray quarter zip sweater, a pair of dark blue jeans and laced up my Doc Martens.

I need to get Sadie her own pair of shoes to match some day.

She loved matching with her mother any chance they got.

I do a second glance in the bathroom mirror before I call for Sadie.

My hair is a mess from pulling my sweater over my head.

I run my hands through it with some water and add some hair gel.

I take my glasses off to splash water on my face.

Why is this so hard? It is one night out with Sadie and new friends.

We get in the truck and Sadie buckles herself in.

I plug in my phone and my playlist comes through the speaker.

We’re backing out of the driveway when the first couple bars of “Iris” by The Goo Goo Dolls start playing.

I roll down the windows and turn the volume up so Sadie can sing freely.

I love hearing her little voice sing my favorite songs.

We drive a few minutes down the road, it’s a nice September night.

The air is fresh and there’s a slight breeze.

Pulling into a parking spot in front of Alfredo’s Pizza , Sadie sings out the last bar “... I just want you to know who I am” and the music fades.

I park and we both unbuckle. I walk over to her side of the truck and help her down.

She reaches up for my hand “When are we going to see Grandma and Grandpa?” It’s almost been a month since we moved and I know she misses them.

“Maybe we can visit them next weekend? How does that sound?” She looks at me and smiles “That sounds good. I miss them so much!” I squeeze her little hand, “I miss them too.”