Page 13 of Paper Flowers (Stonebrook #1)

CHAPTER SEVEN

LUKE

So do you always smell like strawberries or did you fall into a field of strawberries on the way to Alfredo’s?

I hit send. My heart is pounding in my chest as I wait for her reply. It’s only a text, nothing more. I continue to stare at my phone as I see the little three dots dancing.

Dayna: I certainly did not fall into a field of strawberries.

Could have fooled me.

Dayna: BTW. You can change the emoji Cara put next to my name.

Not a chance, Evans. I happen to like strawberries.

Dayna: Wow. It feels weird reading my maiden name. I miss it.

Oh. I’m sorry.

Dayna: It’s okay. It was my choice to keep his last name still.

How are you doing with the divorce, if you don’t mind me asking?

Dayna: Ugh. It was going okay, actually surprisingly well. Up until recently though…

What happened? Are you okay?

Dayna: Yeah, I’m fine. He just needs time. I never told him you and I were high school sweethearts until yesterday. So there has been a little tension between us.

Wait. How did she not tell him about me? Did she keep what we had a secret? I’m sure she had her reasoning but even Juliette knew about her. I can’t blame Dean for needing time. I probably would need time too. I didn’t realize I stopped replying until my phone vibrated in my palm.

Dayna: Luke?

I’m here.

So why didn’t he know before?

Dayna: Things were complicated then.

Oh.

Dayna: Dean is a great guy but he can be a little much at times. He doesn’t like change. Nothing can get between him, his free time or his money.

I gathered that when he and I spoke outside earlier.

Dayna: Oh god. What did he say to you?

Nothing really, I got the sense he doesn’t like kids outside of work.

Dayna: You sensed right.

Dayna: Well, it’s getting late and Cara will be here early tomorrow. Boy Meets World marathon. Good night, Luke.

Don’t dream of Shawn Hunter too much. Good Night, Dayna.

I plug my phone in on my nightstand and I get up to check on Sadie before I go to sleep.

She’s fast asleep with her night light on.

Above her bed is our last family portrait framed and hanging on her bedroom wall.

It was taken last July, where we were vacationing at the beach.

We are wearing the classic white shirts with jeans and no shoes.

I’m holding both of them in my arms as I’m sitting on the sand with the dunes behind us.

Juliette always had us taking photos whenever we were on vacation.

Those were supposed to be our Christmas cards but for the first time since we were married, a Christmas card from The Becketts wasn’t sent out.

I wake up to Sadie laying next to me and she’s holding onto one of Juliette’s sweaters close to her chest. I move my arm under her to pull her closer to me and I get a brief scent of Juliette’s perfume.

I swallow the lump in my throat. Sadie must have gone through Juliette’s boxes to get the sweater.

I need to unpack the rest of our things today.

I close my eyes and I try to picture Juliette on the other side of Sadie.

I get myself to pretend she’s here with us and everything is normal again.

… She’s wearing her favorite pink silk button up pajamas, her brown wavy hair spread out on her pillowcase.

Her long eyelashes flutter as she dreams. Her body is warm laying in our bed…

she slowly wakes up and runs her hand through Sadie’s hair.

Something she’s done a thousand times while Sadie slept between us.

She looks up at me with her hazel eyes and smiles.

I reach to touch her cheek softly but I only feel the coldness on her skin.

My eyes shoot open and tears are falling down the side of my face. Memories of being in that sterile room makes my chest hurt. I can never get the touch of her cold skin off my hands. The way her lifeless body laid on the cold slab of the metal table. I can’t fucking breathe.

But I know I need to calm down before I wake up Sadie and scare her. I wipe my face with my long sleeve cuff. I slowly pull my arm out and maneuver myself off my bed without Sadie waking up. I tap my phone to look at the time, it’s 6:28 AM and I head to my bathroom.

Closing the door behind me, I turn on the shower so I can sit down on the bathroom floor and cry. Hoping the shower can muffle my cries, I try to let myself fall apart. It hurts deep in my chest. This pain will never go away and frankly, I wouldn’t want it too.

The afternoon has been productive, I unpacked the rest of our things.

The house finally feels like a home despite not having Juliette.

Sadie has been so helpful with putting things away.

We both decided we will put some of Juliette’s clothes in Sadie’s closet so she can grab any shirt she wants when she needs it.

Nina and William wanted a few more of her things, so I left them in the boxes and I’ll take the boxes with us when we visit on Friday.

Sadie is up in her room playing with her toys, I jog upstairs to ask if she wants to go get some ice cream.

When I get to the second floor, I see her laying down on her bed.

She looks like she can use a nap. “Sadie Girl, wanna get some ice cream or do you think you’re too tired?

” She sits right up, “I am never too tired for ice cream!”

Last night when we were driving home, I saw a small ice cream shop and thought Sadie would love it.

She has such a sweet tooth. “Well clean up and wash your hands, we’re going to leave in a few minutes.

” She jumps off her bed and goes to her bathroom.

I went to my room down the hall and quickly changed into my joggers and a t-shirt and put on my contacts.

Swirl and Toppings is a Ma and Pa ice cream shop.

There are a few colorful tables with matching bar stools and the wall art has photos of different shaped sprinkles.

I always like to take a closer look at photography because I know first hand the work that gets put into it even if it’s a stock photo, someone had to have taken it.

Sadie picked cookies and cream waffle cone with extra sprinkles and I got vanilla with salted caramel syrup drizzled on top.

We take a seat at the yellow table and enjoy our ice cream cones.

I want to take this time to talk to her about how she’s feeling.

She wears her heart on her sleeve and loves out loud.

I miss my little girl’s bright smile and the glimmery shine in her hazel eyes.

I see it more and more and I can’t help but wonder if a certain vice principal is the reason for it.

“What is going on in that beautiful mind of yours?”

“Nothing really. I’m just thinking about my ice cream, it is so delicious!”

“Sadie, if you want to talk about your feelings, I’m here to listen.”

“I know, but I don’t want to talk about anything right now. Do you want to talk about anything, Daddy?” She lowers her voice to a whisper as she looks at her ice cream. “I heard you crying in your bathroom this morning.” If I want her to open up to me, I have to be honest with her.

“I miss your mom. I miss her all the time. Sometimes, I cry when I don’t even know I’m crying.” Clearing my throat I place my free hand on the table. Sadie reaches for my hand and I take her tiny hand into mine. I wanted to talk to her about her feelings and here I am talking about mine.

“Sadie, I want you to know, it’s okay to cry.

It’s okay to feel your emotions. Even if you don’t know what it is that you’re feeling.

” She looks at me with a well of tears in her eyes.

Fuck. I didn’t mean to make her cry. “What if I cry too much?” She says softly.

“I will do everything I can to be here for you, princess.” Sadie wipes her tears and gets down from the bar stool.

I get down and squat down to her and bring her into my arms. “I love you so much Daddy, please don’t ever leave me, please!

” I hug her tightly and she’s crying again.

We’re the only ones in Swirl and Toppings , I stand to my full height and walk us to the front of the shop.

I wave bye to the teenage cashier and toss the remainder of our cones away and walk out.

Sadie is resting her head against my shoulders crying and I’m rubbing her back trying to soothe her as we head to my truck.

There is only one song I know that will help her feel better.

I help buckle her up and jog to the driver’s side.

I get in and plug in my phone. I search for the song and I hit play.

The Lumineers’ Ho Hey used to be the song Juliette sang to Sadie whenever she wasn’t feeling well and that song would instantly put her in a better mood.

“I belong with you, you belong with me, you’re my sweetheart…

” I look back in the rearview mirror and I can see Sadie’s eyes are closed and she starts to lip sync along.

I turn the volume up a little higher and I begin to sing along.

As the song finishes playing, Sadie opens her eyes and says, “thank you for remembering mine and mommy’s song.” I should have played it for her sooner. “Of course I remember it, princess.”

It’s Sunday evening, Sadie and I FaceTimed Nina and William.

They are so excited for our upcoming weekend trip with them.

Sadie took a shower, and I tucked her in bed about an hour ago.

I came down stairs to watch tv. I’m laying on our sectional, the tv is on but I can’t seem to focus.

My phone vibrates, and it’s a text message from Dayna.

Dayna: I had a dream that Shawn Hunter was in Stonebrook. In my dream, I asked him to marry me. Then I woke up.

Wow.

I knew you’d dream about him. You always had a thing for Shawn.

Dayna: I can’t help it. He has a vibe I can’t explain, and he just happens to be single. He reminds me of Rufus Humphrey, the cool single dad from Gossip Girl. Very edgy.

Right.

So single dads are more your type now?

Dayna: I’m not answering that.

Dayna: How was your weekend?

Okay, Evans. Real smooth changing the subject. I’ll let it go…for now.

My weekend went well, I finally unpacked most of our things. I took Sadie to Swirl and Toppings yesterday. She loves that place now.

Dayna: She mentioned to me on Friday, she would love ice cream for dinner every night.

Words she lives by, Ice cream for dinner over anything else.

My little girl has the biggest sweet tooth. We were surprised she was cavity free at her first dentist visit.

I typed that out so fast and it came out so naturally. I haven’t said “We” in so long and I just texted it to Dayna. I need to tell her about Juliette. I see the three blue dots moving but they stop. I wait a full ten minutes before I text her again.

Good night, Dayna. See you tomorrow.