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Chapter Fifteen

“ H ow did it go?”

Josiah stood on the lift, scraping paint. He’d already talked to Claire, who had asked him to give her a hand with painting the house after she’d found out about her grandma.

He’d seen them come home a little earlier from their doctor’s appointment and had been dying of curiosity, but had not stopped working.

His conversation with Trevor had been at the top of his mind too, and he wanted to talk to Claire about Grace.

But he already knew she had heaps of things on her plate.

The last day of school was sometime soon.

That would have her stressed out as well.

“I don’t know. Good, I guess,” she said, coming around the corner with two glasses of tea in her hand. “Do you want to take a break?” she asked, holding a glass of tea out.

“Sure,” he said. He wasn’t going to turn down tea, but more than that, he wasn’t going to turn down time with her. If she wanted to talk, he was going to be there for her. Even if they never became anything more, he knew enough to know that that was what friends were for.

He lowered the lift so that it sat on the ground and then opened the gate and stepped off. “Thanks. Go sit down. You look like you’re about ready to fall.”

“I’m just tired. It was…emotional.”

“Okay,” he said as they went and sat down on the small bench in the yard. He had the porch mostly torn apart, propped up by two-by-fours, with the porch swing down and the rocking chairs in the shed.

“Thanks for the tea,” he said as they sat and he took a sip, waiting for her to start talking. He didn’t know what question to ask. She’d said it went well. But she looked exhausted and not especially happy.

“The doctor said six months.”

“That’s not terrible. You have plenty of time to say goodbye?—”

“No. Well, I guess to be more specific, she said she could die in her sleep tonight, but the longest that she would give her would be six months. She said if we were able to spend Christmas together, she would make a big deal of it because it would be her last for sure.”

“That’s not very encouraging.”

“No. The doctor was very sympathetic. I felt bad that she had to give such terrible news. I wouldn’t want to have a job where I had to tell people that they were dying in the next six months.”

“Yeah, me neither,” he said, grateful that he was just a handyman and fix-it person. He couldn’t imagine if his job included playing God, even in that small way.

“Anyway. I’m supposed to call all the relatives and let them know.

She said that we could give Grandma as much pain medicine as she wanted, but the more and stronger the pain medicine got, the more Grandma would sleep and be out of it.

” She took a breath, looking at her tea but not touching it.

“Grandma said she’d like to try to hold off on the pain meds until everyone who wanted to see her had been around to talk.

I’m glad she’s lucid enough to think that way. ”

“Me too.”

“But I just feel so overwhelmed. I need to make all the phone calls, the last day of school is tomorrow, and my kids have a program that night, and I don’t know whether to try to take Grandma or have her stay, and whether to stay with her and?—”

He put a hand up. “Hey. I’ll help. Okay?

If you need to stay with Grandma, I can take the kids.

And if you want to go with the kids, I can stay with Grandma.

You make the decision and tell me what you need.

” He said that as firmly but as calmly as possible.

He didn’ t want to put any pressure on her, but he wanted her to know that she was not alone.

He also wanted to say that it was too bad she hadn’t been able to get in touch with Grace, because he was sure that Grace would help her through this hard time.

But it was probably too late to try to form any type of bond, especially now while Claire was in such panic mode.

Still, if the opportunity came up, he might mention his conversation with Trevor.

“Thank you so much. I… I guess I just feel overwhelmed. But I appreciate you being calm and reasonable.”

“I think it’s easier for me, because it’s not my life that’s imploding.”

“But you’re sympathetic enough to make me feel like you care while still keeping me grounded.”

“I’m glad it’s working. I want to help you any way I can.”

“I’m going to have to figure out how to get the kids to my husband—ex-husband—as well.”

“I’ll help you with that.”

“Thanks.” She gave him a reassuring smile. “Grandma and I decided that we were going to try to do as many things together this last week as we could. I… I don’t expect the kids will get to see her again alive. And I haven’t decided whether I should try to get them back for the funeral.”

“You might want to talk to them about it. They might not want to come back. Or they might feel like they need to.”

“Do you think they’re old enough to make that decision?”

“I think if you talk to them about it and tell them that you’d like to do the thing that works best for them—the thing they want, even if it isn’t what they think they should want—they’ll remember that you at least talked to them about it.”

“Good point. I guess what is the right decision for one kid could be a wrong decision for another, and who am I to know whether it’s best or not?

” She seemed to be thoughtful as she said that.

He was glad that she seemed to be able to reason things out and didn’t seem to be in quite such a panic.

“All right. I still feel like everything’s a jumble in my brain. ”

“You need to make some phone calls, you need to be here when your kids get off the bus, you have a program tomorrow night, and you can let me know if you want me to go see the kids or if you want me to stay with Grandma. Or maybe she feels well enough that between the two of us we can get her there.”

“Oh, that would be best. Yeah. Let’s aim for that, if you don’t mind helping.”

“No. I don’t. My dad’s not here right now, so I just might not work as many long hours here, go home and spend some time with my mom, and then come back and spend the evening with you. She’s often in bed shortly after supper anyway.”

“Oh, I hate to take you away from her.”

“Don’t worry about it. I told you, I’ll see her during the day. I don’t have any yacht work this week either, and I might cancel next week’s job.”

“I don’t want you to lose any work.”

“I’m not losing work. I’ll just postpone it until some other time. Things come up. And if they find someone else to do the job, it’s not like I need it. I promise. I won’t do anything that jeopardizes my financial health.”

“Well, thank you. I’ll trust that you’ll keep your word on that and tell me if I’m asking too much of you.”

“I’ll let you know.” He paused, draining the last of his tea before he said casually, “I talked to Trevor today.”

“You did?”

He nodded. “I was at the healing garden in town. You know where I mean?”

“I’ve been there once since I moved here. I wanted to explore it a little more. Grandma talks so well about it, but I just haven’t made the time.”

“You should. Vera and her husband did a great job on it. Anyway, I had lunch with my mom, and then I went there for a few minutes. Trevor found me there, and we chatted.”

“Is he engaged to Grace?” Claire asked, seeming to forget all of her other problems in her interest in Trevor and Grace.

“I think so. He said there was going to be a wedding soon. And that his dad and her mom just got married.”

“So you were right. ”

He nodded. “My mom has her ways, and I get everything from her.”

“I just found out your secret, right?”

“Sure did.” He grinned at her and was gratified to see her smiling.

If teasing him made her happy, she could go at it all she wanted to.

“He asked about you. He wanted to know if you were angry. He said Grace was afraid that you were because she’d tried to reach out to you and you hadn’t responded. ”

“He’s right. She’s reached out several times, and I just haven’t.”

“I explained that you have a lot on your plate right now. That you were going through a good bit. I didn’t get into a bunch of details, because I didn’t know how much you wanted to share with everyone.”

“I might as well share everything there is, because being that it’s a small town, everyone’s going to figure it all out anyway.”

“I don’t know. If Trevor knew more than what I told him, he didn’t let on. But that’s your call. Just know that Grace really wants to get together, and I know she’d be a help right now.”

She nodded and didn’t seem too upset about the suggestion. He was afraid she was going to get defensive, but he couldn’t go around being scared that she would get upset every time he opened his mouth.

And she really wasn’t that kind of person anyway.

He wasn’t sure why he was so cautious, unless it was all the stories his dad had told about irrational women. He was starting to think that maybe the stories weren’t true.

Or maybe, just maybe, he’d found a gem in Claire.

But only as a friend. She certainly hadn’t indicated that she wanted anything more.

“All right. I still think I’m a little fuzzy in my head about everything I need to do, but kids first, tomorrow. Maybe I can… Did he leave Grace’s number?”

“No. I didn’t think to ask for it. But my mom might have it, or I can get her number. You want me to text it to you later?”

“Yes. If you’re able to get it, please pass it along to me. I shouldn’t have deleted everything from my phone. But I was certain at the time that there would never be a time when I would want to…get back together with her.”

“Friends can be invaluable, and I have a feeling that you’re going to need a pretty strong support system. You know you can depend on people in the town.”

“Yeah. I’m just new here.”

“It doesn’t matter. People will rally around you anyway. And your grandma is not new. And you know how small towns are. You’re related to her, so they’re gonna love you no matter what.”

“True.” She sighed. “I wish I could have figured out how to make bread as good as hers. I have a feeling I’m never going to learn.”

“I wouldn’t say that. It might not be just like hers, but you’ll figure something out. And plus, maybe the new meds will help her, and you’ll have months and months together, if not years. The doctor doesn’t always have to be right.”

“I like the way you think, but I guess I kind of feel like after watching her the last couple of days, she’s gone downhill so fast. On the one hand, I kind of hope that she just slips away really quickly and easily and doesn’t suffer. It sounded to me like it could end up being really painful.”

“I think that’s probably the thing that I would want to focus on. Making sure that she’s comfortable.”

“That’s the one thing she said, and I felt like it was the only thing she was afraid of.

She actually seemed happy after the diagnosis.

Like she was excited to go see Jesus and her parents and her son who had died and her husband.

Just…full of peace and joy. But she did ask the doctor and specify that she didn’t want to be in pain. ”

Claire sat there for a moment, her eyes cast down, thinking.

He let her be alone with her thoughts and gave her the time that she needed.

He didn’t want to intrude. She might not have a whole lot of time to sit and try to process.

And that last visit with Grandma would probably be something that she would revisit over and over, particularly if it ended up being the very last visit.

And especially if Grandma went as quickly as what Claire seemed to be afraid she was going to.

Finally, after a bit, she said, “Well. I probably ought to go back in. I think I’m going to leave the house painting and the kitchen and all of the other things to you. I’ll probably just sit with Grandma.”

“If you need a break, you be sure to ask me. ”

“I will. Although I expect we’ll be inundated with family who want to say their goodbyes to her. I know I would want to.”

He thought she might be surprised. Sometimes people could be really weird when death was involved and would do anything to avoid it. But maybe she would be pleasantly surprised. It seemed like Claire was hoping that people would come anyway. Maybe for Grandma’s sake.

“Thanks for sharing with me. I will let you know if I get Grace’s number, and I’ll be expecting to spend the evening either here or at the school tomorrow.”

“Thanks. I’ll keep you apprised of everything that’s going on.”

“Sounds good.”

They stood together, and their arms brushed. It was an accident, at least on his part, and he expected her to jerk away. But she didn’t.

Instead, she looked up at him, as though she was going to say something, but she ended up just staring into his eyes.

It was only for a second or two, but it felt like an eternity to him.

Maybe there was something a little more between them. He felt an odd sensation between his heart and his ribs, something warm and swirly, and he wasn’t sure exactly what that meant.

Other than he wanted to move closer, put his hand up to cup her cheek, put his arms around her, and give her strength. Somehow help her be strong for the days and weeks ahead.

“Thanks,” she whispered again, and then she turned and started to hurry away.

“Hey,” he said, and she stopped right away.

“Yeah?”

“Would you take my glass, please?” He was walking toward her and handing it to her.

“Sure. Sorry.” She laughed a little self-consciously and reached out for his glass.

Their fingers brushed, and his eyes held hers as they did.

He wasn’t sure whether she felt the sensation that crawled up his arm and seemed to go the whole way down to his toes, but it made him want to close his eyes.

Instead, he said so softly it was almost a whisper, “Thank you.”

He wasn’t even sure what he was thanking her for. Taking his glass, he supposed, but she just nodded and then curled her fingers around the glass before she turned and hurried away.

What terrible timing on his part. She had an ex she was dealing with, was going to be separated from her children for the first time, a grandma who was dying, potential family members descending upon her, and a limited amount of time in which to get all the things done that she needed to do, juggling her children and her grandma and hospice and doctors’ appointments and new medicine, and there he was, thinking that maybe he was falling in love with her.