Page 87 of Out on a Limb

He drove by kids writing “Congrats Graduates” in chalk on the sidewalk. His friends had done that outside of his and Doug’s apartment. They had woken up the day of graduation to find the front steps of their building covered in multi-colored well wishes.

All of the graduating seniors had congregated in the stadium before the ceremony. Taking pictures, sharing hugs. It was a sea of green and white robes. Doug and Walker had an impromptu make out session behind a curtain. Those were the days when Doug lusted over Walker, and kissed him like he never wanted to let go.

“We’re graduating, Walker,” Doug said, nose brushing against his lips.

“We are? Huh, so that’s what this robe is for.”

“Is it weird that it doesn’t feel as momentous as it should? Maybe it’ll feel more important when I look back. I’m just hungry right now.” Doug left no moment unanalyzed.

“You didn’t bring a snack with you?” Walker broke off half of his granola bar and handed it to his boyfriend.

“What would I do without you?”

Walker rested his forehead against Doug’s. “Starve.”

“I’m happy I get to take this step with you,” Doug said.

“It’s just the first of many.”

Doug bit off half of his half of the granola bar. Walker didn’t stop hugging him. Doug had the perfect body to hug. Short, compact, soft but not flabby.

“Maybe one day we’ll have a house,” Doug said. “And then…who knows. Maybe we could even have a family.”

“And then who knows.” He kissed Doug. He never got tired of those lips.

“Forever.”

“Forever,” Walker said back.

“Forever,” Walker said to himself in the car. He was living his forever, and it dragged.

Φ

It was Ron who dropped off Hobie off the following night. Doug and Walker didn’t say anything to each at the soccer game after Cameron left. Doug hated the negative attention, and Walker wanted to be left alone.

“Why were you and dad fighting?” Hobie asked him.

“Sometimes grownups fight, Hobie.” Walker said it firmly enough so Hobie knew not to follow-up his question.

Truth was, he couldn’t think of an answer, not one suitable for a kid. His anger had spewed out like a fleeting high that left a long trail of regret. He knew he was going to hear from Doug eventually. Doug always had to have the final word.

“He’s still mad, I take it,” Walker said to Ron jokingly after Hobie ran inside. Ron didn’t bite.

“Some of the other parents…they’d feel more comfortable if just one parent were at the games from now on,” Ron said politely. But there was no nice way to say you’d been ostracized from a group of snobby housewives.

He figured Doug would find him when he had something to say. When they fought as a couple, Doug would write him long emails detailing his feelings, or give him mini-speeches in the kitchen. Maybe this was part of growing up for him. Learning to take a step back.

That night, Cameron came over for dinner and Lego time. He gave them a status update with his move. All he had left was a mattress and two neat piles of clothes on top of a box. He made it sound like an adventure to Hobie, but Walker just thought of emptiness.

Hobie barely made it through dinner before he ran to his room, inviting Cameron along for Lego time.

“I’ll be there in a minute. I just need to talk to your dad about something. Get all the pieces ready.”

Hobie nodded like his head was detached and was off.

“Look, I’m sorry for causing that scene at the soccer game. I shouldn’t have gone. It was a total overstep.”

Walker rubbed his shoulders and kissed him on the lips, feeling goosebumps in his toes.