Page 2 of Out on a Limb

And now Cameron felt bad. The guy retracted his arm and sat up.

“I had a lot of fun last night,” Cameron said. He made sure to always tell guys this. Always compliment them before telling them to get out. It softened the blow.

“Me, too.”

“I don’t mean to be an asshole. I just have to get to work,” Cameron said, hoping he understood.

“You work? Like an internship?”

“Like at a coffee shop.”

“Oh, that’s cool.” The guy finally got out of bed. He stretched his arms over his head and let out a caveman yawn. Cameron admired his chest. The sophomore was a fan of manscaping. All over, from what Cameron could remember. It was like having sex with someone who wasn’t completely real.

Sleeping Beauty stumbled over to Cameron, not to his pile of clothes. Earnestness ringed his eyes as he caressed Cameron’s fingers. Cameron felt the dread sink in. He braced himself for impact.

“I really did have a good time,” the guy said. He had cut himself shaving, just under his chin. It was one imperfection that made him stand out in Cameron’s mind. “And I think we should go out sometime.” After Cameron didn’t give him an immediate answer, the guy asked, “What do you think?”

“You don’t have to do this,” Cameron said. “We had some great sex last night. We don’t need to justify it into something more.”

“I’m not. I like you.”

“We’ve known each other for twelve hours. Jungle juice was involved in half of that, and lube was involved in the other.”

“You’re funny.” He stroked Cameron’s cheek. “I don’t know, I enjoyed talking to you at the party.”

“But that wasn’t a real conversation. We were flirting. Our talking was all sexual subtext meant to get us into bed together. And it worked. It worked very well.”

Cameron thought he saw dejection cross the guy’s face, but then it was gone.

“You’re playing hard to get, aren’t you? I get it,” Sleeping Beauty said. He wrapped his arms around Cameron’s waist.

Cameron put on his game face. He knew this was merely the denial part in the five stages of drunken hookups.

“There’s nothing to play here. Do you really want to go down this road? I’m graduating in three months. Then I’m moving out to Los Angeles a few weeks after that. Do you think it’s wise to try and hang out and possibly turn this one night stand into a relationship when it’s only going to break apart three months later? We had a great time last night. You have an amazing dick, and I’m glad I got to enjoy it, but we don’t have to turn something fun into something serious. Let’s not sully this experience.”

Sleeping Beauty nodded his head slightly. He seemed to get it. Cameron felt like the Miracle Worker breaking through to young Helen Keller.

“It’s not your fault. It’s the Puritans’ fault.” Cameron handed him his heap of clothes.

“The Puritans? Like from the 1600s?” The guy untangled his clothing and began to sort them out.

“Exactly. They were the first settlers in the United States. They were deeply conservative and religious. Like the Amish, but not as crafty. And because they were the first settlers, their conservative beliefs are embedded in our culture. No matter how much we evolve as a society, we still have those Puritanical roots.”

“My ancestors emigrated to Ellis Island in 1906.”

“Even so, the heart of American society is tied to Puritanism. If only the Greeks or Romans had discovered America. Then we all could’ve been having orgies nonstop.” Cameron paced back and forth in front of his audience of one. “But no. We were settled by Puritans.”

“Not Christopher Columbus?”

“He discovered America, but he didn’t settle here.”

Sleeping Beauty nodded.

“My point is, America is still a Puritan nation. We are all inherently conservative about sex. It’s ingrained in us that sex should be tied to love. We can’t just have sex with people. We have to rationalize it as falling in love or trying to have a relationship with that person when really, all we wanted was to get off.” Cameron knelt down beside his latest hookup. “Now, I have to ask you, when you were talking to me last night, when you were smiling at me and putting your hand on the small of my back, when I asked you ‘Hey, do you want to get out of here’ and you said ‘Fuck yeah,’ were you really, honestly, truly thinking ‘This guy could be my boyfriend?’”

Cameron was damn near out of breath. He gazed into this guy’s eyes for recognition, for some sense of understanding.

“I guess…not.”