Page 32 of Out of Bounds (Atlanta Demon Series #4)
Once I got them home, everyone got a bath, got dressed in their pajamas, and was now sitting in the kitchen with me while I made snacks.
A couple of days after Aurora’s party, I had hired a crew to come over and put a projector screen in the backyard, much like the one at the other house.
My kids loved sitting outside watching movies, so I figured tonight would be the perfect night to do so.
The only thing missing was my baby boy. The advice Masai gave me earlier was something I planned on looking into.
I wasn’t used to having somebody control the way I moved with one of my kids, and I wasn’t about to start now.
First thing Monday morning, I was going to reach out to our family attorney and get her on it.
I needed to be able to spend just as much time with KJ as Ashton did, especially given that the majority of the year I was on and off the fucking road.
The more I sat and thought about it, the more the shit pissed me off.
I know KJ was too young and didn’t understand what was going on, but it was something about walking off the field and being greeted by my kids that made it all right in the world.
Masai and I weren’t even together, and she’d been diligent about getting my kids to the games to watch me play.
I wanted KJ to have that same fucking experience.
I mentioned having Koya bring him to the last game with the rest of the kids, and that girl told me she didn’t feel comfortable sending her son off with a stranger.
I understood her reservations, so Koya and Jream offered to meet her.
It was only fair since that’s who Masai usually sent the kids with.
Ashton straight-up told me if she wasn’t coming to the games, then neither was KJ.
For some reason, she had it made up in her head that I was supposed to put her on the sidelines while my family sat in my box.
The shit wasn’t happening at fucking all.
That was that controlling shit that she thought was going to fly.
I was being cool about the shit because all of this was unconventional as hell, but that nice shit only went so far.
I was about to let the courts handle how we moved going forward, and that’s just what it was.
Pulling the oven door open, I called over my shoulder. “Bug, it’s about to be nine at night. It’s time for you to get off the phone.”
Maddie Claire had been on FaceTime with one of the girls from her dance company the entire time I’d been making snacks. I was baking cookies for them, while the other kids either played Roblox on their phones or colored. The conversation was innocent until I heard them talking about some boy.
“Mommy lets me stay on until ten.”
Taking the tray of cookies out, I set them on the counter and flicked her nose. “Mommy ain’t here. We supposed to be spending time together. You don’t miss your old man?”
She smiled. “Of course, Daddy.”
“Then get off the phone and chop it up with your old man.”
“Okay…” She groaned. While I waited for her to end the call, I decided to pop a few bags of popcorn. The cookies were the only sweets I was giving their ass. Ain’t no way they were about to have my ass up all night.
“So…” Maddie Claire drawled and leaned against the counter. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Anything, Bug.”
“What do you think is an appropriate dating age?”
“I don’t know.” I frowned. “Why? Is there some lil’ boy you call yourself liking?”
“Yes.” She sighed. “He goes to my school, and he plays football.”
“Damn.” Here I was thinking we’d nipped this whole liking boys shit in the bud with Sophie. The fact that Maddie was asking just further confirmed that my girls was growing up. “Why can’t the two of you just be friends? Why you gotta like him?”
“You like Mommy, don’t you?” Maddie countered.
“No, baby. I love your mother,” I affirmed. “There’s a difference between just liking someone and loving them.”
“But you liked her before you loved her, right?” she queried.
Folding my arms across my chest, I thought about the very first time I laid eyes on Masai.
I was talking to one of my homeboys when she breezed past me, and like the goddess she is, her ass stole my breath away.
I didn’t know her name, didn’t know where she had come from, didn’t know shit about her, but I didn’t care about any of that.
All I knew was I had just seen my wife and I had to have her.
“Nawl, Bug.” I chuckled. “I think I skipped the whole liking stage with your mom. I knew I loved her at first sight.”
“Mommy said she had a boyfriend when the two of you met.”
“She thought she had a boyfriend. That sucker was nothing more than a seat filler.”
“You still love her, don’t you?” Maddie Claire pointed out.
Looking down at her, I nodded. “I’ll never stop loving your mother. She was my first love, the first woman I’d ever said I love you to.”
“Does she know that?”
“She does, Bug. Your mother knows exactly how I feel about her,” I confirmed.
“Do you think she still loves you?”
“Um… Now, I don’t know how to answer that.” Masai would probably always love me. We shared a lot of good times. However, she probably doesn’t want to love my ass because I hurt her.
“I think she does, Daddy. She used to cry a lot when you left.”
“I know…” I sighed. “I hurt her.”
“Can you fix it?”
“I’ve tried, Bug. Your mother is very headstrong. That’s where you got it from.” I nipped her chin. “Sometimes fixing it means setting it free.”
“You think she wanted to be set free?”
“What’s up with all of the questions, Bug? You got something you want to get off your chest?”
“No, sir.” She shook her head. “I’m just asking questions.”
“In that case, I think in this situation, setting her free was for the best, regardless of what I wanted. I love your mom more than anything in this world and would love to have her back. But in order for her to heal, I had to let her go. If it’s meant for us to be together, we will be.”
“I think you will.” She smiled up at me. “I overheard her telling Nana that she still loves you. I think she will come back, Dad.”
“You know, Bug… I pray she does. And just know that even if she doesn’t, my love for her will forever remain. Your mom was my best friend at one point, which brings me back to your first question.
“I don’t think there’s an appropriate or inappropriate age for dating.
I do believe that dating requires a certain level of understanding that you don’t get until you’re an adult.
As for someone your age, it’s all puppy love and that doesn’t change until you grasp the concept of putting your significant other’s wants and needs above yours. ”
Here I was, standing here, having a conversation with my eleven-year-old about love and relationships. Was this my life? Is this what I had to look forward to in the future? I could barely tell you how the conversation got started, but here I was, explaining love to my daughter.
“What does that even mean?” she quizzed, making me laugh.
“You won’t understand it now, but it means being able to recognize that how you move directly affects the person that you love.
When you love someone, you do things in a way that not only protects you, but protects their heart too.
Your intentions are always pure because the last thing you want to do is hurt someone that you care about.
It’s about that person relinquishing their trust in hopes that you won’t fumble their heart.
“I had that with your mom for years. We were unstoppable, unbreakable… until we weren’t. Daddy slipped up and made a mistake that caused your mom’s trust to disappear. Now, I’ve gotta figure out a way to regain it—if I can.” I shrugged.
“In other words, I don’t want to date.” She pouted. “It sounds too complicated.”
“It is, Bug.” I chuckled. “Dating is very complicated.”
“Gosh. I don’t ever want to be an adult. It’s too much work.”
“Relationships are constant work, but again, that’s something that you will learn as you get older.
They’re just as beautiful as they are complicated.
When you get older and fall in love, you’ll understand exactly what I’m talking about.
Until then, focus on being friends before you try to date.
” In a childlike voice, I mimicked. “Dating sucks. Boys are yucky.”
“Oh, Dad. I love you.” She gushed and wrapped her arms around my waist.
“I love you more, Bug.” I pecked the top of her head. “Cookies should be cooled off enough. Wanna wrangle the rest of the kids and get them set up in the backyard while I put the snacks together?”
“Yes, sir.”
Pecking the top of her head one last time, I let her go so that I could get the popcorn boxes out of the pantry.
“Dad…” she called out, forcing me to turn in her direction. “Mom still loves you too.”
“I know she does, Bug.” I winked.
My baby was inquisitive just like her mother.
I knew she hadn’t understood much of what I said, but the older she got, the more it would resonate.
Love was a beautiful thing that I strongly felt like you genuinely got to experience once in a lifetime.
The type of love Masai and I shared only happened once.
Because the love we shared was something out of a fucking book, a romcom, if you may.
That type of love only came around once, and I’d fucked it up. That type of love was worth fighting for. I wanted my wife back. I don’t know if that was possible at all, but I sure as hell planned on trying to find out.