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Page 30 of Out of Bounds (Atlanta Demon Series #4)

Taking the phone out of his hand, I went to his address book so that I could lock my number in.

My fingers hesitated, and not because I was scared.

Giving my number out wasn’t just flirting or the possibilities of dating; it was about me recognizing what all of this meant.

I wondered if it was too soon, or if I was even doing it for the right reasons.

But the moment I typed my name and number in, I felt something inside that I hadn’t felt throughout this whole process.

I felt powerful; shit, I felt alive. Not because I’d given a complete stranger my number, but because a complete stranger had asked for my number.

I saved my contact and handed Lamar back his phone.

He took one glance at the screen and smiled. “You’ll be hearing from me, Masai.”

“I look forward to it.” I blushed before making the final trek back to the table.

“You good?” Kreed asked when I returned to my seat.

“Peachy.” I smiled and hopped back into the conversation at the table. My night had been made in more ways than one.

Sitting on the couch, Koya passed me a glass of champagne and tucked her feet under her. “Okay, so now you can tell us what you’ve been hiding for the past month.”

I giggled, ready for some girl chat. “The night of the Maddie Claire’s dance recital, when I went to the bathroom, I met a man. And not just any man… I met Lamar Young.”

“Why does that name sound familiar?” Koya pondered.

“Because he’s a sports analyst for ESPN.”

“Oh, bitch! I know exactly who that is. That’s who you’ve been sneaking off to talk to?”

“I haven’t necessarily been sneaking off,” I lied. I was definitely sneaking off to talk to him.

The night we exchanged numbers, he reached out like he said he would.

Initially, I thought I would hold onto his number until I was ready to date again.

But that night, the banter just went on and on.

It started with us just texting, but Lamar gave good conversation, and I enjoyed talking to him so much that we started talking on the phone.

Then came the occasional FaceTime calls.

Over the past month, we had gone out for drinks twice, and I would be lying if I said I hadn’t enjoyed being in the presence of a man without there being any strings attached.

“Does my brother know?” Jream quizzed.

“Oh, so now he’s your brother?” I joked. “What happened to ‘ You need to date, Masai.’ Were you just saying that to say it?”

“No, I meant it.”

“Okay then,” I said, shuffling in my seat. “No, Kreed doesn’t know, and he won’t because Lam and I are just friends.”

“Lam!” Jream and Koya tittered.

“You gave him a nickname?” Koya shrieked. “Masai, do you like him?”

“He’s a really nice guy. We have good conversation.”

“ He’s a really nice guy ,” she repeated before falling back on the couch and flailing her legs in the air. “Sai’s about to give up the yams.”

Popping her on the thigh, I shook my head. “I am not.”

“You really like him, Sai?” Jream queried.

“He’s a good guy, Jream. He’s a fifty-seven-year-old, divorced father of two. His kids are fourteen and ten. Infidelity wasn’t a factor in his marriage; they simply grew apart and have remained really good friends. We have a lot in common, believe it or not.”

“I need to meet him before I decide if I like him or not.”

“That’s fair, Jream.” I laughed. “We’re just friends, though. If it were to go further, you guys will be the first ones to meet him.”

I understood why Jream was looking at me with uncertainty.

She and Kreed were extremely close, and all she’s ever known was us as a couple.

Much like it was taking me some adjusting, I’m sure it was the same for her.

I respected her hesitancy, and I didn’t plan to push the conversation into awkward territory, but I was sure her silly self would.

“Didn’t he play in the NBA for a brief time?” Koya queried, breaking the silence.

“He did.” I nodded. “Drafted to the Sacramento Kings and played two seasons before being diagnosed with a heart condition. He didn’t want to risk his health, so the team retired him. He went on to coach college ball before accepting a position with ESPN last year.”

“Dated an MLB player in college, married an NFL player, and now you’re casually dating an NBA player. My girl good in the sports world!” Jream teased, causing Koya and me both to laugh.

“I dated Johnston in college. Yes, my ex-husband is a professional football player. But I didn’t know anything about Lam before a month ago. I’m not good in anything,” I denied.

“All I’m saying is… I know who to hire as a matchmaker if Jrue and I break up.” She winked.

“I am no matchmaker. Seriously, guys! I’m just having fun. I’m enjoying his company, but I don’t see this being anything more than that.”

“Do tell…” Koya suggested.

Taking a sip out of my glass, I rolled my eyes before sharing, “He wants to get married again. He’s adamant that he’s meant to be a husband and not a boyfriend.”

Jream snapped her fingers. “Okay! We love a man with a master plan.”

“We do, Jream. However, I’m not sure if I want to be anyone’s wife again. I’ve been down that road before.”

“And it didn’t work out, but that’s life. What would be the reason for you not to get married again?”

Pursing my lips, I thought of the many reasons that would prevent me from wanting to get married again. The main one is the emotional rollercoaster of thinking what you have is forever, only for it to end in divorce.

“It’s not because I don’t believe in love, because I still do.

After everything that I went through, the idea of trusting someone that deeply again feels dangerous.

When Kreed and I got married, I thought I was building something that was destined to last; I was all in.

Emotionally, mentally, physically, hell, even spiritually; that man had my whole being.

I knew without a doubt that I’d found my lifelong partner.

“I knew my heart was safe in his arms, and then it happened, he cheated. And suddenly everything I thought was real unraveled right in front of my face. When I started to question what I had done to cause him to step out, I knew I never wanted to give anyone else that type of power over me.

“I’m deathly afraid of putting my heart back on the line only to have it shattered again.

I used to think having a ring meant I was complete.

It meant that I’d reached the ultimate level in life.

I’m realizing now that I don’t need a ring to feel complete anymore.

If love comes again, it has to feel different this time around.

But marriage… ssss. Yeah, that’s much harder to sell to me. ”

“I can’t even be mad at that,” Koya stated. “I didn’t get married to end up alone, and as much as I adore my marriage and the process it took to get here, I can’t say I would be down to do it again if it ended.”

“Shit! I don’t think I want to do it ever. ” Jream shrugged.

“But I thought you and Jrue had discussed getting married before?” I pondered.

“ He discussed it. I just listened.”

“Wait a minute…” I stared at her. “Your parents were married until the day your father passed. You come from a loving marriage, and you mean to tell me you don’t want to get married?”

“I don’t.” She shook her head. “My mother was codependent as hell. Yes, I came from a loving marriage, but much of what I witnessed was my father taking care of my mother because of her mental issues.

“I strongly believed that if it wasn’t for the fact that they had me, he would have left.

He stayed because he felt obligated to stay.

He loved her, no doubt, but that marriage caused him to drink himself to death.

I’ve never wanted to be in a situation where I feel obligated to stay with anyone.

Besides that, marriage just seems so permanent.

“Divorces get messy too. I don’t have the capacity to be begging somebody to let me go. Yeah... it’s not for me.”

“What if he asks?” I questioned her.

“Then I’ll say no.”

“That’s not fair to him, though, Jream. You know his end game is marriage, and for you to know you don’t want to be married… it’s kind of giving him a false sense of hope.”

“I don’t believe that for one minute,” she responded, and I immediately called bullshit.

“Oh-kay, girl.” I tittered. “I’mma leave you with this.

That man wants a family. Don’t think for one second that he’s going to settle for being your boyfriend for the rest of his life.

Whatever you’re not willing to give, trust me…

someone else will give it in a heartbeat.

Don’t lose out on a good one because of how you perceived your parents’ marriage. ”

“I’m with Masai on that one,” Koya added with a shrug.

I chuckled at the thought of Jream finding out that Jrue was leaving her for another woman. “She better listen…”

Jream rolled her eyes. “My relationship is solid. The last thing I’m worried about is my man leaving.”

The shit I had said went in one ear and out of the other.

Jream still had a lot of growing up to do, and the things she’d said today proved it.

I could’ve respected her reservations about wanting to get married if I thought they were valid.

To me, her insecurities were controlling her behaviors without her being aware.

Regardless, for the sake of Jrue, I hoped she at least shared her feelings with him before things got too far and they joined me in the broken-hearted club section of this crew.

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