Page 34 of One Forbidden Kiss with the Laird (The Cinderella Shepherd Sisters #2)

S elina kept to her room at the Lost Sheep, despite its tiny size and lack of comfortable furniture.

There was a small wooden chair in one corner alongside a narrow bed with a straw mattress.

A tiny window let in some natural light, but also a persistent draught that made her shiver despite the mild temperatures.

Downstairs there was a fire burning in the main room, making it smoky and dark, but the landlord had also shown her a private area for guests staying in the rooms above the Lost Sheep’s bar which was a little more comfortable.

Despite this option Selina preferred to stay upstairs where she could cry in peace.

Callum had not been expecting anything she had said that afternoon, that much had been clear.

He’d been blindsided by the news that Sir William knew about the night Callum had crept into Taigh Blath.

As Selina thought about it more she wondered if in truth it was a blessing in disguise.

Callum would have tried hard to make everything work, to keep everyone happy, but there was no way to balance marrying her with regaining control of the tenancies for the people of Ballachulish.

No one would be completely contented and Callum would bear the weight of his own disappointment for the rest of their lives.

At least this way it was quick and clean. She was finally out from under the influence of her horrible father and his true family and she would not have to watch as Callum destroyed himself with regret.

Selina choked back a sob as she thought about not seeing his smile again, at not feeling his lips on hers.

She thought of the soft, Scottish accent as he whispered endearments in her ear and nuzzled at her neck.

Despite her certainty that she was doing the right thing, she felt completely and utterly heartbroken. Yet she knew she was right.

Her sister, Sarah, was more reserved than Selina, but in her letters Selina could read between the lines and understand the love Sarah and her husband shared.

It was there in the little gestures Sarah mentioned.

Their love was unconditional and unfettered and Selina had finally realised that was what she wanted.

After a year of basically begging for affection from a man who would rather she did not exist, she was not about to fall into another relationship where she was a disappointment.

Callum would never say that he regretted their marriage, but she would be able to see it each and every day as he watched the villagers he thought of as his people be turned from their homes.

Footsteps sounded in the corridor outside and then there was a short, sharp knock on the door.

Selina opened it quickly, thinking it might be someone Callum had sent with the money for her trip home, but was surprised to find Lady Kingsley standing outside, looking around in disgust.

‘Come on, quickly, girl. Let me in.’

Selina opened the door wide to allow her stepmother into the room. Once inside Lady Kingsley cast around in disdain before deciding to settle for the wooden chair. She perched on the very edge as if worried she might catch something if she relaxed too much.

Refusing to stand on ceremony for her stepmother, Selina sat on the bed and waited for Lady Kingsley to speak.

‘Abandoned by the man that made you a whore already? This is quite the hovel you find yourself in.’

Selina didn’t react, just sat waiting for Lady Kingsley to get to the point. There was no need for politeness any longer, now she wasn’t living under the Kingsleys’ roof, and she wasn’t going to waste small talk on a woman she despised.

Lady Kingsley cleared her throat. ‘I have an offer for you. I suggest you take it.’

‘What is the offer?’

‘I will give you the money for the journey home. A gift, no need to repay it.’

Selina’s eyes widened with surprise. ‘And in return?’ There had to be a catch to this bargain, something Lady Kingsley would benefit from, otherwise she would not be here.

‘In return you leave Ballachulish today and make your journey in haste back to England.’

In silence Selina considered the offer, trying to work out her stepmother’s motivations.

‘What is more, you never contact me or my husband or my daughter ever again.’

‘That would be my pleasure,’ Selina murmured.

‘You agree to the bargain?’

Selina cocked her head to the side and considered the older woman in front of her.

This day should be triumphant for her. Ever since Selina had turned up at Sir William’s door, Lady Kingsley had been trying to get rid of her.

Never had she defied her husband’s orders to keep Selina close in case she let slip her true identity as Sir William’s illegitimate daughter, but she had been especially cruel, hoping to drive Selina away.

‘You are hoping to salvage this marriage between Catherine and Lord Leven,’ Selina said quietly. It could be the only reason for this sudden show of generosity.

‘I do. He’s an earl. An impoverished one, but an earl all the same. And he’s hardly the first man who has had trouble resisting a little easy temptation. Catherine will forgive him and in time it will be as though you never existed.’

Even though this was what Selina had been pushing for earlier in the day, for her to return to England and Callum to continue with the original plan and marry Catherine, the idea of them together still stung.

Callum wouldn’t forget her, not easily. At least not for a year or maybe two, but in ten years’ time she would be a distant memory, nothing more than a mistake he had nearly made.

‘Will Sir William agree?’

‘Of course. He’s angry now, but that anger can be moulded to be directed towards you.

It is an easy story to tell: the harlot, the temptress, the illegitimate daughter who was raised without morals.

’ Lady Kingsley’s lip curled back in disgust as she spoke, revealing her long, polished teeth.

‘By the time I’m finished he will be reminded that men cannot be held responsible for their desires, that it is only natural, positive even, for a hot-blooded male to bed whomever he wants.

It is a very separate thing to marriage. ’

Her father would accept this narrative; to do anything else would be the ultimate hypocrisy given how he had seduced Selina’s mother, waited until she was pregnant and then disappeared.

‘I don’t doubt he will make Lord Leven sweat, perhaps threaten to withhold some of his precious land from the dowry and marriage agreement, but in the end he will concede.

’ Lady Kingsley laughed, a high, brittle sound that whistled as she sucked air through her pursed lips.

‘What use is this land to him? It provides a few measly pounds here and there in rents, but he has to employ a local to manage it. It was always a means to an end. A way to leverage a better position in Society.’

‘Sir William does not want the land here?’

‘No. What he wants is his rightful place among the ton and a lovely fertile parcel of land down in Sussex or somewhere respectable.’

At least Callum would get back his ancestral lands and ownership of the farms and cottages around the village. It was what she had pushed him towards this afternoon, what she hoped would make him happy.

‘We have a deal,’ Selina said. Normally she would not take money from Lady Kingsley, but she thought it was best if she left Ballachulish as quickly as possible.

No doubt Callum still thought there was some way he could restore his family’s lands and not lose her, but she was more realistic.

The more distance she put between Callum and herself the easier it would be to stick to her plan.

‘We will never see or hear from you again.’

‘Never.’

‘I do not wish for you to turn up in six months, begging for more money.’

Selina raised an eyebrow. ‘It was never about the money, Lady Kingsley. My sister, my true sister, Sarah, is married to a viscount and she is the most generous person you could ever meet. I plan to make my own way in the world, but even if I fall on hard times she would not see me asking our horrible father for a single penny.’

Without another word Lady Kingsley reached into her reticule and pulled out some money, carefully counting it before handing it over.

‘Leave today. Even if you only get as far as the next village before sundown. I want you out of Ballachulish.’

The older woman stood to leave, sweeping from the room with her chin tilted high just in case Selina had forgotten that her stepmother was far too good for these surroundings.

‘Give my best wishes to Catherine in her marriage,’ Selina called out.

Lady Kingsley did not look back, but called loudly enough for Selina to hear, ‘Leave. Today.’

* * *

Callum was back in the woods just outside Ballachulish.

It was a place of peace and serenity, somewhere he had always come to think.

After his father’s death he had spent hours wandering this woodland, occasionally glimpsing the blue expanse of the loch nearby, trying to make the difficult decisions that needed to be made.

Here he was again, over a decade later, still plagued by uncertainty.

He walked up a steep trail through the trees, enjoying the burn in the muscles of his legs and the thumping of his heart in his chest. He always had found activity helped him to focus, to think.

It was why he enjoyed Bruce’s invitations to throw knives or axes in the woods.

It meant his head was clear and his mind sharp.