Page 21 of One Forbidden Kiss with the Laird (The Cinderella Shepherd Sisters #2)
‘Praise for you, some outright, some abstract, but these people hail you as their saviour.’
A shadow crossed his face and Selina realised what a burden this must be for the Earl. To have an extended group of people relying on you to restore their fortunes. It was more than one man should have to bear.
‘I am no saviour.’
‘But you are working to make life a little better for them.’
‘They are my responsibility.’
‘No man should be responsible for the future of so many.’
‘Yet that is the way the world works. If Sir William holds on to the estate, how long is it before he realises the model of small farms run by tenant farmers is not all that profitable?
Just like all the other landowners he will turn the people off, refuse to renew their leases when the current ones come to an end. Then where will they be?
‘Forced to move south or to the harsh fishing communities on the coast, or perhaps even abroad. Families will be split, with the most able going where the work is and the old and infirm or the very young left behind. We will lose everything that made Ballachulish a good place to live.’
‘I understand a lot have left already.’
‘They have. To find work elsewhere, but I hope one day we can tempt them back.’
Selina nodded. ‘I’m not saying I entirely forgive you,’ she said, a little smile tugging at her lips, ‘But I realise I was a little selfish. I was thinking of me and you, not everyone else your actions affect.’
‘Thank you.’
‘And I will not do anything to jeopardise your arrangement with the Kingsleys.’
‘I am grateful for your understanding. We shall be friends.’
‘Yes, friends.’
‘And a friend never refuses another friend a dance.’
As if on cue the music picked up its pace and Lord Leven held out his hand, tilting his head towards her in question.
‘I do not know the steps.’
‘I promise I will not let you fall.’
Selina bit her lip. She loved to dance and already the music was pulsing through her, enticing her to the dance floor.
‘I can see you are tempted. Let me show you the true pleasure of a Scottish dance.’
She could not refuse him, not when his eyes twinkled in such a manner and his smile drew her in. Selina caught herself, desperate not to fall for him all over again. Friends , she told herself, that was all they could be.
With butterflies in her stomach she placed her hand into Lord Leven’s and followed him to the dance floor.
‘Can you feel the beat? I always imagine this part to be played by the drummers in a regiment, spurring everyone on.’
‘This is a battle song?’
‘No, you’d know if it were a battle song.
We’re seventy years since Culloden, but there are men here who learned the war songs from their fathers and grandfathers.
They would be on their feet, stamping and cheering and singing every word.
If you stay late, you might get to witness one or two of those, they normally only come out when everyone is good and drunk. ’
‘Will you be good and drunk, my lord?’
He gave her a mischievous grin that made him look younger and more carefree and shrugged.
‘It would be rude not to. I don’t want the people thinking I’m aloof and distant and there is no greater equaliser than copious amounts of free-flowing alcohol.’
‘I will be sorry to miss that spectacle, then.’
They were in the very middle of the dance floor, lined up with a dozen other couples all in high spirits. The music was fast and Selina had the sense that she was about to get lost in the middle of the crowd.
She had been dancing the fast-paced Scottish dances all evening and had worked out the best thing to do was to hold her partner’s hand and allow herself to be swept away, not caring if she did not do the right steps at the right time.
No one noticed and no one cared, as long as spirits were high and the music loud.
Unsurprisingly, Callum danced well. She had seen him move effortlessly through the Scottish countryside, covering huge distances without even breaking a sweat.
He had climbed the steep hill from the loch as if it were the gentlest of slopes and pulled himself up into the tree beside her a couple of weeks earlier without having to strain.
He was a physically fit man, nimble on his feet, and tonight she had caught glimpses of the advantages of his upbringing.
He was at home among these people, his friends and his neighbours, but he stood out.
His speech was a little more refined, his mannerisms and posture had been coached and corrected from a young age.
It was apparent in how he danced, too. He threw himself into the steps as much as anyone else there, but he managed to do so without a hair coming out of place or his shirt looking ruffled.
Selina found it hard to tear her eyes away from him, even at the point in the dance where they swapped partners for a moment. She yearned for his hand on her waist again, for the heat of his body close to hers.
As the music slowed and faded Callum reached out and took her hand, kissing the skin below her knuckles lightly. She felt disappointed that the dance was over, knowing Callum, with his rigid self-control, would not risk another with her.
‘Do not step away from the dance floor,’ the young man who had been playing the violin called, his eyes seemingly fixed on Callum.
Bruce was standing close to him, just off the raised platform that had hastily been constructed for the small group of musicians, and he caught Selina’s eye, winking at her.
‘Grab hold of your partner and hold them close.’
For a moment Selina wondered if Callum would walk away.
It was the sensible thing to do. They had both shown they could not be trusted with one another.
Desire, lust, yearning—whatever you wanted to call the spark that crackled and burned between them, it was not sensible to fuel it, but to her surprise he held out his hand.
He drew her close, mirroring the actions of the other couples on the makeshift dance floor, and together they began to move to the music. It was a haunting piece, the notes low and drawn out, and as they danced Selina did not dare look up at Callum, too scared of what he might see in her eyes.
She was lonely, terribly so. Lonely and scared, not knowing what her future held. She knew she had to be strong, to step out and find her own path in life, but the idea was daunting. Always she had been one of a pair, her twin sister, so different in temperament but such a big part of her life.
‘You look sad, Miss Shepherd.’
‘Selina,’ she said, looking up at him with a soft smile. ‘If we are to be friends, you should call me Selina.’
Callum inhaled sharply and she felt his fingers flex slightly through the thin material of her dress.
‘Selina,’ he murmured.
‘I’m not sad,’ she said eventually. ‘I was thinking this has been one of the best nights of my life.’
She glanced up at him, their eyes meeting. For a long moment Callum did not speak. When he did, his voice was gruff, as if the emotion was catching in his throat. ‘You could stay.’
‘Stay here? In Ballachulish.’
‘Why not?’
Selina shook her head. ‘No. You would be married to Catherine and I would…’ She trailed off, not wanting to think of how hard it would be to see Callum from a distance, living a life she could never truly be a part of.
As the music finished and the couples slowly moved apart, Callum didn’t relinquish his hold on Selina for a moment longer. He looked down at her, studying her face. ‘I don’t want this to be the only time we dance.’
Selina felt her heart wrench inside her chest and realised he felt it too.
The deeper connection, the yearning. It was more than desire, more than a base, animal attraction, although that was there, too.
She couldn’t call it love—no sane person could believe they had fallen in love with a man they had only known two weeks—but there was something deeper, something that threatened to overpower and take away all logic.
Summoning a smile, she tilted her chin back and met his eye. ‘I am sure no one could object to us sharing a dance at your wedding celebrations.’ For a moment Selina wasn’t sure if she had pushed Calum too far, but after ten seconds of tense silence he threw his head back and laughed.
‘Maybe you’re right. Come on, I need a stiff drink.’ He took her hand, the gesture too intimate, but Selina could not bring herself to pull away. She reasoned everyone else was too engrossed in their own affairs to notice Lord Leven holding her hand.