Page 28 of One Forbidden Kiss with the Laird (The Cinderella Shepherd Sisters #2)
I t was a beautiful morning, the sky blue and the sun glinting off the waters of the loch. Selina had managed to escape the oppressive atmosphere of Taigh Blath, slipping out while Sir William was busy with his business correspondence and Lady Kingsley and Catherine were out calling on Lady Leven.
Selina felt numb this morning, shocked by the revelation the night before when Callum had sat beside her on her little single bed and declared that he loved her.
For a moment she had allowed herself to dream, to imagine a life with the man she loved, but then reality had taken over.
His declaration changed nothing, not really.
He was still engaged to be married to Catherine, still determined to do whatever it took to restore his family’s lands.
So here she was heartbroken, pining for a man who had never really been hers.
She let out a shuddering breath and tried to focus on the landscape around her.
Although the countryside was vast, with the greens of the hills and mountains interspersed with the blue of the lochs as far as the eye could see, Selina had become familiar with this little patch of the Highlands the last few weeks.
Her solitary walks took her on different routes down to the loch and she now did not think she would get lost as long as she stuck to one of the familiar paths.
Now she was skirting the edge of the loch, gazing at the glimmering water and wondering if it would be foolish to shed her stockings and her boots and dip a toe into the water.
Close by there was a sloping bank that led to a narrow strip of muddy sand, one of the few points where the loch was accessible.
She longed to feel the cool water against her skin, thinking of all the times she had paddled in the cold waters off the beach in Hastings.
Here the surface of the loch was calm, almost as smooth as the glass in a mirror.
She could not imagine it was a dangerous place to paddle, even though Callum had called the loch treacherous that first night they had met.
It had been different then, the water murky and rough, the wind whipping it in all directions.
A paddle cannot hurt , she told herself.
If the water was deeper than it looked, or filled with weeds that tangled her legs, she would retreat to the safety of the little beach.
Before she started stripping off her boots and stockings she checked in all directions, ensuring there was no one watching her. The whole area was deserted. Often on her walks Selina didn’t see another person for hours on end. She doubted anyone would be walking past today of all days.
Carefully she perched on a fallen branch of a tree, pulling off her boots and stockings before sinking her toes into the sand. With one last check behind her she lifted up the hem of her dress, gathered the layers of petticoats and then stepped into the water.
It was blissful. The water of the loch was bitingly cold and after half a minute Selina felt as though she could not feel her toes.
Despite this the water was so refreshing, so inviting that she took a step deeper and then another.
Her feet sunk down into the thick mud at the bottom, anchoring her in place.
Selina exhaled deeply, feeling some of the stress of the last few weeks begin to melt away.
The sun was warm and she turned her face up towards it, not caring if she developed a smattering of freckles on her nose.
Moments like this reminded her what was truly important in the world and made her realise what a small part of it she really was. It was grounding.
Out here in the loch she could forget her broken heart and the sorrow she felt for what would never be between her and Callum, out here in the loch all she needed to think about was the icy water lapping at her shins and the sunshine on her upturned face.
For a few minutes Selina stayed where she was, her feet sinking a little deeper into the mud at the bottom of the loch.
She liked the cool sensation between her toes and lifted her dress a little higher to avoid any splashes of water on her hem.
She doubted the Kingsleys would notice if she returned with a slightly damp dress, but it wasn’t worth risking their curiosity or their ire.
She had closed her eyes to best enjoy the moment when she heard a splash behind.
Her heart skipped in her chest as she twisted her body to see what had caused the noise.
To her surprise Hamish was racing towards her in the water, tongue hanging out, looking thrilled to have found her.
As yet Callum was nowhere to be seen, but Selina did not doubt he would be far behind.
She felt torn, instinctively excited to see him, but reluctant for an encounter that would make the ache in her heart any worse.
Hamish barked, jumping up and splashing her with water, his tail wagging in a show of excitement. Selina laughed, unable to feel anything but affection for the friendly little dog. She transferred the bundle of her skirt and petticoat to one hand and reach down to scratch behind his ears.
‘Hamish, leave poor Miss Shepherd alone,’ Callum’s voice called out from behind them.
Selina tried to turn to face the shore, feeling the pull of the mud on her feet as she attempted to lift them.
She was off balance, her feet completely stuck in the mud, and the twisting movement set her wobbling.
For a moment Selina thought she would be able to right herself as she felt one foot come loose from the sucking mud, but the other was still trapped and she felt her body topple as she lost her balance completely.
She opened her mouth to scream, but as her body hit the icy cold water the breath was knocked out of her lungs and no sound came out. Although she had been in the shallows she was almost completely submerged, such was the angle of her fall and even her head plunged under the water.
She came up gasping just as strong arms looped under her shoulders and pulled her up out of the water. Callum didn’t seem to be bothered by the cold and he held her body to his as he turned and strode back to the bank. Only once they were on dry land did he set her down.
She looked up, meaning to thank him, but stopped when she saw his expression.
‘You’re laughing at me.’
‘You have to admit it was comical. The way you fell over so slowly. Why didn’t you even put your hands out to save yourself?’
‘I could have drowned.’
‘In eight inches of water? Now that would be impressive.’ She shivered and suddenly Callum was serious. ‘What could kill you is a chill. Your body is probably still weak from the last time you got soaked and stayed out too long.’
‘I can’t go back to Taigh Blath like this.’
‘I’m sure no one will take any notice.’
Normally Selina would agree, but surely someone would notice her traipsing in half of the water from Loch Leven on her dress.
‘I can’t. I’ll wait until I dry out.’
‘Don’t be foolish. That dress of yours will take hours to dry, let alone whatever it is you wear underneath.’ He eyed her for a moment as if imagining the chemise and petticoats plastered to her body.
‘It will dry in the sunshine. It is the warmest day we’ve had since I arrived here.’
‘The weather is hardly tropical. You’ll be lucky if your dress is dry in three days.’
Selina grimaced wondering if she would be able to sneak into Taigh Blath without being seen and dismissing the idea.
If Lady Kingsley caught her she would take great pleasure in reprimanding her for ruining another dress and use it as evidence that Selina was reckless with her possessions and did not value what Sir William had given her.
‘We could dry it at your house,’ Selina suggested, a note of desperation in her voice.
‘I live in a little cottage on the other side of the village. We would have to walk the length of the main street to get to it. The gossip would reach Sir William’s ears before you returned home.’
Selina bit her lip, looking down at the soggy dress. She was starting to feel uncomfortable, her petticoat was clinging to her legs and despite the sunshine she was beginning to shiver.
After a few moments of silence Callum took pity on her. ‘Come on, lass, I’ll get a fire started and you can dry off by that. Once you’re not dripping wet you’ll have to risk sneaking back into Taigh Blath.’
Feeling a flood of relief, Selina looked at Callum’s outstretched hand. To take it would be to concede to an intimacy that she wanted so badly, but that she knew could not be. He saw her hesitate and adjusted his position, offering her his arm instead.
Together they walked a little distance around the edge of the loch on a grassy path. Hamish trotted ahead, sniffing every bush and wagging his tail at each new scent he picked up. He was already nearly dry from his dip in the loch.
Neither Selina nor Callum spoke of the night before, of their declarations of love or the sadness they had felt as they parted, but it hung there, heavy, between them, stopping the normal flow of conversation and building in Selina’s mind until she could think of nothing else.
‘This way,’ Callum said, turning away from the water and weaving through the trees until he came to a little clearing. ‘Find some dry wood for the fire. The more we have the sooner you’ll warm up and dry off a bit.’
Despite the uncomfortable sensation of the wet clothes clinging to her skin Selina moved quickly, eager to get a roaring fire started. She gathered armfuls of sticks bringing them back to the centre clearing where Callum arranged them in a neat little pyramid shape.
‘Do you have a tinderbox?’