Page 26 of One Forbidden Kiss with the Laird (The Cinderella Shepherd Sisters #2)

‘Yes. I was devastated. I was in love, you see, but not with your father. Mr Pennington…’ She stared out into the distance for a moment, lost in her memories.

‘He was the second son of a baron. His elder brother was due to inherit so he had carved out a nice little career for himself in the clergy. I think I would have liked the life of a vicar’s wife. ’

‘Your father would not entertain it?’

His mother sighed and looked at him. ‘I did not fight for what I wanted. I accepted my family’s pleas to try to restore our fortunes by marrying Lord Leven, thinking my sacrifice would be noble.

’ She inhaled sharply. ‘It was not noble. Your father was a drunkard even in the early days of our marriage and as the years went on I became more discontent with my life. You were the only shining light in that gloomy existence.’

‘I knew it could not have been a happy marriage,’ Callum said quietly. ‘Who could be happy married to him ?’

‘Perhaps someone could. Someone who had not known what it was like to feel her heart sing when she looked at the face of the man she loved, when she felt his hand graze across hers. I did what was expected of me, I did my duty and all it brought me was unhappiness.’ She took his hand in her own.

‘I do not want the same for you. I have seen how you look at Miss Shepherd, it is clear for the whole world to see. She is unattached and would make a lovely Lady Leven, even if you did not have Taigh Blath to live in and the estate to rule over.’

Callum did not answer for a long while, looking out ahead of him and considering his mother’s words.

She had always allowed him to make his own decisions, even when they impacted her.

She had supported him when he had declared he was using what little funds he had to board the ship to Canada despite it meaning she was left all alone in the tiny little cottage in the village where she had once been the highest pinnacle of society.

‘I will not tell you what to do, my love, but I ask you to really consider what it is you want. Perhaps this once you could think of yourself and your own desires and not what everyone else expects of you.’

‘How can I hold my head up high in Ballachulish if I send Sir William away and with it any chance to regain the land my father lost? People will be turned out of their properties, thrown off the land.’

‘Then perhaps you admit you cannot do this alone, that you cannot single-handedly restore what was lost. It may be you have to think of another way to help these people, a way that does not involve you sacrificing your happiness for theirs.’ She reached out and cupped his cheek, affection in her eyes.

‘You have always been a proud man, Callum, always thought you need to do everything yourself. It is something I have always loved about you, but do not let it be the thing that is your downfall.’

Callum felt the words pierce through his heart. He was proud. He wanted to be the person who achieved things and he never liked asking for help. Much of the time he dressed it up in his mind as a positive part of his character, but he knew sometimes it could be negative.

‘I will leave you to think about it,’ Lady Leven said, squeezing his hand. ‘I hope by tomorrow I might have a lovely new daughter-in-law-to-be.’

She disappeared quietly, moving off down the path with poise and grace. Even throughout the difficult years she had never let go of the way she was raised. She was first and foremost a lady, whatever else she might be now.

Callum walked a little further and then sank down to the ground, propping his back against the trunk of a large tree.

He could not ignore both his mother and Bruce’s words, especially when they said the same thing, but he found it hard to see how he could take a path other than the one he was hurtling down.

He allowed himself to dream, to imagine Selina as his wife, walking through the glens and around the lochs hand in hand with a woman he loved. It was a captivating fantasy, but he could not see how it could be his reality, not without letting a lot of people down.

* * *

After fifteen minutes of contemplation he was no closer to an answer. He walked back towards the village, meaning to go home and think some more when he was accosted by Bruce. The big bear of a man must have been looking out for him for he pounced as soon as he saw Callum.

‘Forgive me for earlier,’ he said, pulling Callum into an embrace. ‘It is not my place to tell you what to do. Come, let us drink and talk of other things, of our escapades of years gone by, and forget your dilemma of the day.’

‘I don’t think…’ Callum began to say, but Bruce was already pulling him towards the tavern they had left not an hour earlier.

‘Come, a couple of drinks will do you no harm.’

Callum had a sneaking suspicion that Bruce was worried that he would march up to Taigh Blath and demand to see Sir William to settle things once and for all.

His friend wanted to do anything to give Callum a little time to consider his actions.

Today, Callum did not mind this manipulation—in fact, he relished the idea of forgetting about his responsibilities for a few hours.