Page 66 of Once the Skies Fade (Immortal Reveries #2)

Chapter 66

Matthias

I couldn’t hear anything in this blasted room. The Assembly had ordered Isa not to put me with the other prisoners, fearing what I might say to my sister and Raven, I supposed. At least Isa had done me the favor of not chaining me to the wall as Calla had the last time she’d visited me down here.

Still, with no windows and no sounds, it was impossible to know how much time had passed aside from pacing along the walls. I’d made the small loop at least seventy-eight times before I’d given up counting and resorted to sitting on the floor. Eventually, Isa herself brought me a meager dinner of bread, cheese, and water, apologizing that she couldn’t get me anything more.

“Are you sure you won’t tell me?” she asked, looking over her shoulder at me from where she stood at the door, about to pull it open.

I forced my bite down and followed it with a small sip. “I’d rather she hear it from me first.”

“Even if I promise not to tell her?”

“Sorry, general,” I said. “Can you just let her know I’m here when she’s ready?”

“I will,” she said, turning to pull the door open. She stepped one foot out into the hallway before pausing to glance back. “I just hope she’s ready before the Assembly hangs you.”

“Me too.”

Another eighty-four times around the cell I paced, and Calla still hadn’t shown up. Unable to fight the exhaustion any longer, my sigh shifted into a yawn, and I settled down on the cold stone floor. Leaning my head back against the wall, I let my eyes drift closed and welcomed whatever dream my mind created.

Of all the places I could have landed in my dreams, the edge of Calla’s demon forest was one of the last I would have chosen. Looking down, I noted the black cord around my neck and plucked the vial up from where it rested against my chest. Hopefully I wouldn’t need to fight off the forest in this dream land, but just to be sure, I tucked the pendant back into my shirt and adjusted my collar to hide it.

Glancing around, I shivered at the eerie feeling that I’d been in this very spot before.

Of course, I had been here. This was where I’d brought Oryn, hoping to find a guard to save him.

But at my feet there was only grass and leaves and dirt, no sign of my friend. For a moment, I wondered if he’d passed already, hoped I’d make it back to Emeryn for his burial. If not, I’d need to ensure I visited his grave once I completed this tournament.

Assuming I survive this tournament at all.

Cautiously, as if this wasn’t a mere image painted from my memories, I stepped out of the forest, half-expecting Asher or one of the other guards to rush at me and punish me for breaking the rules of the trial. But no one came. The sunshine warmed my skin, and I lifted my face, closing my eyes as I soaked up its heat.

“You’re not supposed to be here.”

The voice pulled a smile to my lips, but I didn’t move, as if I could savor the feel of the sun on my face and the sound of her voice in my ear as long as I remained still.

“Hello, Killer,” I said around my grin.

“Why do you call me that?” she asked. When I shifted my head up to look at her, she wasn’t where she had stood with Asher during the trial. Instead, she was inside the forest, leaning back against a large tree.

“It sounds a bit like your name. Killer—Calla,” I said, pulling my mouth into an upside down smile while I shrugged.

Calla lifted a brow. “And my being accused of killing my husband has nothing to do with it?”

I waved a hand in the air, dismissing the comment. Gingerly, I took a step forward. “And why am I not supposed to be here? This is my dream, after all.”

Her entire body went rigid—not blinking, not breathing, nothing. Leaning closer, I waved my hand in her line of sight, and she finally blinked rapidly until her eyes focused on me again.

“This isn’t your dream,” she said, frowning when I started to laugh quietly to myself.

“You’re right,” I said, fighting not to smile when I noticed her relax a little. “I mean, technically it’s our dream.”

Her eyes widened slowly. Her lips parted, but she didn’t say anything. Daring to move closer still, I surveyed the surrounding forest as I continued to speak.

“I didn’t expect it to be here, of course. Thought surely our first shared dream would involve a bath.”

Calla shook her head slowly, and a silent “no” formed on her lips.

“Did Brennan never tell you about this little trick?” I asked, curious about how different their marriage had been compared to Lieke and Connor’s. Those two told each other everything.

“Shut up. Don’t say his name.” Calla bit out the words. Her lip curled into a sneer, matching the animosity I sensed as clearly as if it was my own.

I held my palms toward her in silent apology, but I didn’t retreat.

“Can you feel that?” I asked her, letting my humor fade from my voice.

“Feel what?”

“My remorse? My regret? My concern?” With each question I risked another step closer. Another few steps and I’d be within arm’s reach. Her anger, while still as clear as the guilt and shame swirling in my own veins, mixed now with a hint of doubt and a bitterness so stubborn, it was almost cute.

When she remained silent, I softened my expression and said, “You do, don’t you.”

“So what if I do,” she said, lifting her chin. “It doesn’t change the way I feel.”

“And what is it you feel?” I asked, despite my sensing it all already through our bond.

Calla’s deep brown eyes darkened as she tightened them, threatening to drown me in their intensity. Her mouth twitched before she finally said, “I hate you.”

As my eyes fell closed, I let a smile creep onto my face. Her words pricked me square in the chest, yet I cherished their bite––because they’d come from her.

“Why are you smiling? Did you not hear me? I hate you, Matthias.”

She drew out the last words, but it was my name on her tongue—even said in that context—that made every stab of rejection worth it. She’d never called me by name before, always using my title instead. When I opened my eyes again, I found hers glistening with heated tears. Two more steps nearer, and I lifted my hand to her face, noting how she didn’t recoil as my fingers grazed over the line of her jaw. My thumb traced her scowl, brushing lightly over her lips.

“I’ll take your hate, Calla. I’ll take anything you’re willing to give me. And if hate is all you can offer, I’ll take it a million times over, because an eternity of your hate is better than a lifetime without you.”

“I hate you.” She repeated the words, but already the anger behind them was wavering, making room for something else. “Why did you lie to me?”

Tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear, I yearned for her to sink into my touch, but she didn’t. Still, I kept my thumb lingering at her cheek, ready to catch her tears if they spilled over.

“I’m sorry.” My words fell out on a rough breath.

“Fuck your sorries,” she growled as she thrust her palms against my chest. “You lied to me!”

I surrendered, letting her shove me back. My hand fell to my side, but I approached her again.

“I know, Calla, and I’m so sorry.”

“No,” she whispered, but she didn’t stop me as I once again brought my hand up to her neck, following its curve until I cradled her jaw gently in my palm. She didn’t lean into me, but she didn’t pull away either. Drawing in a long, slow breath, she fisted her hands at my chest.

“I trusted you, and you tricked me.” She hissed the words as she beat her fists over my fractured heart. I didn’t try to stop her, didn’t grab her wrists, but stood there and took each deserved blow. Brushing my fingers past her ear, I buried them in her hair, fighting the urge to pull her close.

“I’m sorry. I had to. It was the job,” I said.

She lifted her fists to her forehead, driving my hand away from her and blocking her face from view. She shook her head, and her shoulders quivered with quiet sobs that pulsed through the bond, splintering my heart to match hers.

“Is that all I was?” she asked, her words muddled from her tears. “A fucking job?”

I couldn’t lie to her. Not again.

“At first, yes,” I admitted. As expected, she began to crumble, her shoulders curving forward as she tried to back away, but I couldn’t let her go without her hearing the whole truth. Wrapping my arms around her, I drew her to me, and with every squirm, every whimpered “Let me go,” I held her tighter, listening to our bond and the need she couldn’t—wouldn’t—voice.

“Stop, Calla, listen to me. Breathe, please, and listen.”

Her shallow breaths deepened as she stilled, yielding to me little by little. Loosening my hold on her, I stroked her hair with my hand, thankful when the bond quieted and her pulse slowed.

“You were the job, yes, but the more time I spent with you, the better I got to know you, the clearer it became that I’d royally fucked it up.”

She lifted her face, tucking her hands between us to peer up at me. “How?”

Pulling back slightly, I slipped my finger beneath her chin and angled her head so I could see her more clearly. I took a deep breath as I studied her face, etching every curve, every freckle, every line into my memory. I bit the inside of my lip to fight back the nerves, knowing once this was said there was no turning back, no walking away, at least not with my heart intact.

“I let myself care,” I whispered. Grabbing her hand, I pressed it against my chest. “You feel that, don’t you? Through the bond? My heart is yours—if you’ll accept it. Fuck, even if you won’t, Calla, it is yours. Completely and eternally yours.”

Her tongue slipped out to wet her lips as she searched my eyes for several agonizingly long moments. Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, she held my gaze even as her tears returned, but when she finally spoke again, it wasn’t the words I’d hoped to hear. “But…why did you have that dagger? The poison?”

I choked down my dread. “You know why,” I whispered.

A single tear escaped, sliding down her cheek. Her mouth pressed into a thin line. “I want to hear you say it. Why were you really here?”

Swallowing hard, I grazed her cheek with my thumb a few times. The answer could drive her away from me forever, but worse than that, it would hurt her more than I already had. But there could be no more lies.

“I was to kill you,” I said, struggling to get the words out past my tightening throat.

“They think I killed him?” Calla’s voice was so quiet and meek, more like a frightened child than a terrifying queen.

I forced myself to hold her stare and face the pain I’d caused her. “They didn’t want to believe it, but with the rumors, they had to at least consider the possibility. So they sent me to learn the truth.”

“With the command to kill me if the rumors proved true,” she noted. I hummed my assent. “So what did you learn? About the truth, I mean.”

“I learned you have a temper,” I said, tugging playfully at a lock of her hair. “And you are strong, passionate, determined, but also broken. You don’t want anyone to see it, can’t let anyone see it, but I did. I see you, Calla, and I don’t believe the rumors. I don’t think you did it.”

“Because I didn’t. I didn’t kill him,” she said, and her eyes widened in surprise, her fingers flying to her lips. “I said it,” she whispered.

I lifted a brow. “You’ve never said it before?”

She shook her head, and a long-overdue smile lit up her face. Wiping the last remnants of her tears away, she explained, “I couldn’t. Minerva. Silence was the price I paid for her magic.”

“What did you get in return?” I asked, hoping it was worth it.

“Brennan’s true killer. I asked Minerva to reveal the ones behind his death. It was Wrenwick. The Olanders.” She dropped her gaze from mine, a wave of shame thrumming down the bond as she said, “Humans.”

“And this is why you banished them? To protect them?” I asked.

She nodded. “Yes, as backwards as that sounds. I didn’t want to hurt them, but every time I looked at them, I saw Brennan dying on that floor. I couldn’t serve them.”

“And you couldn’t tell anyone?” I asked, brushing her hair away from her forehead.

“No one. Not even when I was alone. I wonder if the old witch knows the bond is immune to her magic.”

“Well, let’s not go telling her. She may have helped save Connor, but she’s a tricky bitch I’d rather avoid. What had you hoped to do with her information? If you couldn’t tell anyone, why bother knowing? Just for your own peace of mind?”

“I may have also had Minerva curse his killer.”

I froze. “What? And what did that cost you?”

She shrugged, her smile wavering only slightly. “Just a bit of my shadows.”

“And do you know what the curse was?”

“No. I didn’t care. I just wanted them to suffer as I had.”

She remained quiet for a long moment, staring at my chest. Her smile slowly faded, though.

“I can’t believe Lieke and Connor actually thought I could…they know me. They had to know how much I…”

“Grief can push us in directions we wouldn’t otherwise go. Even someone as noble as Connor.”

Calla didn’t respond except to slide out of my embrace. Turning, she started to walk deeper into the forest. She’d gone a few paces when she stopped and glanced back at me.

“You coming?”

“That depends,” I said, smirking. “Do you still hate me?”