Page 47 of Once the Skies Fade (Immortal Reveries #2)

Chapter 47

Calla

I stepped out of Matthias’s room into the dark corridor, my shadows concealing me despite the dim light. Leaning back against the cold stone, I begged my pulse to steady. Closing my eyes, I relived every moment of our encounter—his chest against my back, his breath in my ear, his tongue working unexpected miracles—which did nothing to help slow my heartbeat.

Stars, though, that general knew what he was doing.

The thrill gradually faded with the realization that it could never happen again. The other contestants already believed I favored him, and I didn’t trust the Assembly not to use any misstep to steal my throne.

No, it couldn’t happen again.

I wish it could, though, because I’d never been worshipped so completely.

With that thought, a cloud of shame descended on me, not because of what I’d done or for enjoying myself, but for comparing Matthias to Brennan. The way Matthias had accepted my command without hesitation—yet somehow also knew precisely what I craved and how to deliver—was like nothing I’d ever had with Brennan, and just thinking about it again nearly made me storm back into his room and demand more.

I might have done just that had the handle on his door not started to turn, snapping me out of my lust-filled thoughts. Pushing away from the wall, I fled down the hallway and around the corner before he could find me. I didn’t stop running until I was back in my room. Slamming the door behind me, I collapsed against it and dropped down to sit on the floor.

“Where have you been?” Isa’s harsh tone startled me. She stood in the middle of my living area, arms crossed, eyes blazing with bitter worry.

Shrugging, I leaned my head back against the door, but all I could do was smile like an idiot.

“You were with Matthias,” she said, as if she could read it on my face. My smile vanished. “Oh, don’t act so shocked. I can smell him all over you, Calla. And if I can, everyone else will, too. What in the stars-damned fuck were you thinking?”

I knew how risky it had been. I didn’t need a lecture. My gut writhed angrily, and I pushed to my feet. Stalking toward my friend, I crossed my arms at my chest and glowered at her, but before I could say anything, she was speaking again.

“I get it. I do. I know you’re stressed, but?—”

“I’m not just stressed, Isa. I’m angry. I’m tired. And I’m lonely. So yes, I needed one little distraction. One that won’t be repeated.”

She angled her head and eyed me suspiciously. “It better not. Though from the look on your face, he won’t be easy to let go of.”

I gave her a half-hearted smile. “It was just a bit of fun. Nothing serious.”

“For now, perhaps, but what happens if you fall for him? Or he for you? Your vow to honor this tournament’s outcome still holds. He may be tied for the lead right now, but there’s no guarantee how he will score in the next trials.”

“Isa, it will take more than a skillful tongue to win over my scarred heart.”

She didn’t seem to believe me, and if I was being honest, I was a bit skeptical myself. Something about that male had woken part of me I thought I’d lost forever, the part that felt capable and strong.

“Well, it’s been a long day,” Isa said, unfolding her arms and wrapping me in a hug. Pushing me back, she held me at arm’s length and shot me a motherly look. “Now, go wash his scent off of you and get some rest.”

She’d made it halfway to the door when she paused and pivoted around slightly.

“One more thing. Can we please be more careful about strangling the staff? Hilde went to the healers after you attacked her.”

“I didn’t attack her.” Isa’s brows lifted high. “I reprimanded her for her insolence.”

“With your shadows.”

I scoffed.

“Must I remind you that the rumor isn’t just that you killed Brennan, but that you suffocated him with your shadows, just as you did to Korben and nearly did to Hilde. The Assembly will undoubtedly hear of it, and I can only protect you so much.”

“Wasn’t the tonic supposed to help?—”

“It only helps calm your power’s response to your emotions; it doesn’t keep you from using them. You are still responsible for what you do, Calla, with or without that tonic.”

Accepting that night as a singular encounter was easier said than done. As a precaution, I resorted to avoiding him for the next two days, but I couldn’t escape the memories that flooded my dreams each night. Without fail, every time I lay down and closed my eyes, he was there, and every morning I woke up with fresh guilt.

Unfortunately, there was no avoiding him when the Assembly, in their infinite wisdom, requested another group meal so they could get better acquainted with the final four males. Unlike our welcome dinner, this was to be held in our smaller dining room where my family had taken our meals together. I tried not to think about it, but my stomach was in uneasy knots the entire day while I hid in my room. As I sipped on Jocelyn’s tea, though, I found my confidence growing. I just needed to make it through one meal without anyone discovering what had happened between Matthias and me.

I waited until the last minute to head downstairs; the less time spent with him the better. Pausing outside the door, I closed my eyes and listened to the voices on the other side. Slowly I counted my breaths, willing my nerves to calm. I was so focused on my breathing and the sound of my own pulse, I didn’t notice a second heartbeat approaching until it was too late.

“There’s my Killer.”

His voice caused heat to bloom in my core, and I stiffened, my mind immediately replaying the last time he had been behind me. A small part of me wanted to pretend that I hadn’t heard him and just enter the dining room, but that would only let him believe he had some kind of power over me. I couldn’t have that.

Turning slowly, I donned a casual expression and lifted my chin as I greeted him, ignoring how he’d called me his. “Late again, general?”

Matthias’s lips curved down into that frown of his, and curiosity flashed in his hazel eyes. “Not yet. But if you’d like to make me late, I don’t mind having my first course somewhere more private.”

His gaze slid down my body suggestively, and I had to clasp my hands together behind my back to keep my shadows from slipping out, as if they, too, longed to feel him again. I dropped my chin, noticing how he was already growing hard, which flared my desire higher.

No, I couldn’t have him again. But, my mind—my traitorous, whore of a mind—insisted on wondering how it would feel to have him inside me.

“We can’t,” I said in a less than convincing tone.

“You’re the queen,” he whispered. “You can do anything you want.”

A smile tried to creep across my mouth at that, but I bit my bottom lip to hold it at bay. When I didn’t say anything, he leaned closer, his lips brushing over my ear.

“You know where to find me, Killer.”

With that, he slipped past me and headed into the room. I hesitated, sure it would look suspicious if we arrived together. Pacing the hallway, I tried to clear him from my mind, to think of things that were decidedly less attractive—pond scum, fat slugs, pickled fish. I’d nearly doused the flame he’d re-ignited when Isa came out and tapped me on the shoulder.

“You can come in now, Calla.”

I glanced at her sidelong as I kept pacing. “I wasn’t doing anything with him, I swear.”

Isa was already nodding. “Great, but now you need to go in there and pretend nothing happened. Can you do that?”

“Okay,” was all I could manage before she led the way into the dining room.

Twelve places had been set at the long table, with my seat at one end and Ursula at the other. Isa either had a sick sense of humor, or she had not taken the necessary precautions to keep us apart, because Matthias was standing behind the seat directly to my left. I couldn’t request he be moved without raising suspicions, so with a nod and a wave of my hand, I invited everyone to sit, noting that the Assembly members were seated among the competitors.

At once, the servers entered and began pouring wine and water into our glasses. I hurriedly lifted my wineglass to my lips and downed as generous a sip as I could without raising any eyebrows. Something tapped my left knee, and from the corner of my eye, I noticed Matthias’s eyes meet mine and then dart toward the opposite end of the table where Ursula sat gawking at me, her glass lifted as if she had been about to make a toast.

Matthias’s earlier words echoed in my head. You’re the queen. You can do anything you want.

Anything I want, my ass. I couldn’t even drink my wine without offending someone, but now was not the time to start a fight, especially with this witch on the Assembly.

“Apologies, Ursula.” I said, offering a curt smile and lifting my glass toward her. Ten other glasses lifted in turn.

Ursula cleared her throat. “I simply wanted to congratulate the males here for surviving the first two trials, and wish them good luck in those to come.”

All four contenders bowed their heads and lifted their glasses higher before we each took a sip. The servers returned with the first course, and to my right, Isa smiled reassuringly as she speared a tomato with her fork. At the far end of the table, Ursula and Opal—the youngest female member of the Assembly—were asking Graham how the tournament had gone for him so far. I didn’t catch his answer, though, because something had brushed against my left ankle, slipping under my dress and up my leg.

I stole a glance at Matthias, who twirled the ring on his finger as he intently listened to Phillip’s answer to some question I hadn’t caught, but the corner of his mouth curled up mischievously. Then he hooked the toe of his boot behind my calf and pulled my foot toward him, spreading my legs wider than was proper with so many present—even if it was hidden under the damned table.

Determined to ignore him—and the way each stroke of his foot against my leg stoked the growing heat in my core—I looked past him to Yuri, sitting on his left.

“Yuri, how are things in the west? I know the tournament has forced us to delay our meetings with the citizens.”

Matthias’s foot continued to caress my leg as he turned to Yuri and asked, “Your province shares a border with Emeryn, doesn’t it?”

Yuri nodded his balding head to Matthias. “Yes, it does. Up near Engle.” He turned to me, then. “Things have been relatively quiet in my area. We are all eager to see which of these males will be our next king, though. There are some matters that have come up, but I have been able to work with the local officials to square those while you are occupied here.”

Beside Yuri, Warren chimed in, his dark eyes fixed on me. “How are you feeling about the competition so far, Your Majesty? Any favorites among the four?”

My gut tightened, and I pressed my tongue hard to the roof of my mouth, even as I smiled as genuinely as I could manage with this swine of a male.

“Seems hardly proper for me to choose a favorite, and even if I did, I would not discuss it with anyone, especially with them present,” I said, popping a slice of cucumber into my mouth.

“Of course, Your Majesty,” he said, dipping his chin. “Though the seating arrangement seems rather convenient, given the rumors.”

Before I could protest, Isa spoke up. “We have had quite enough of rumors, Warren. Even if there was any preference on Her Majesty’s part, I assure you, it would have no bearing on the outcome of the tournament. The queen has vowed to honor the victor, whoever wins.”

“Seems you have some fantastic options, Your Majesty,” spoke Fern from beside Phillip near the middle of the table. “To have survived both the enchanted forest and Lake Vestia? Arenysen will surely have a strong king on the throne.”

I promptly lifted my wineglass and said, “To the future king of Arenysen, whoever he may be.” Without looking at any of the males, I emptied my glass and set it down on the table.

Warren leaned back in his seat as a server removed his barely-touched salad and locked eyes with Isa. Swirling the wine in his glass, he spoke in his usual high-and-mighty tone. “Speaking of delaying the citizens’ hearings, the Assembly feels it unwise for the queen to shirk her duties simply because she needs a game to choose her next husband.”

Matthias stiffened in his seat, his foot retreating from where it had been massaging my calf. He opened his mouth to speak, but I quickly jabbed my toe into his shin in warning. He stalled long enough for Isa to do what she did best—which was why I trusted her implicitly as my second.

“I assure you, your queen is shirking nothing. The tournament was historically used for kings to choose their brides, so I do not see how our using it to choose a king is any different. And unlike the historic games , we are testing character, strength, courage…not bust size. Or dick size. Though, if you would like us to hold more closely to historic tradition, I’m sure the males here wouldn’t mind whipping their goods out so we can measure.”

All the males froze in their seats, some with their glasses half-raised to their mouths. I half-expected Matthias to stand up and start to undo his belt. In fact, he was probably about to when Warren finally responded with a quiet, “That won’t be necessary.”

Isa relaxed back into her seat, just as Warren had, inspecting the wine in her glass as she continued. “I do agree, though, that perhaps it would behoove us in our selection of a new king to have them present—and perhaps even participate—in one of the citizens’ assemblies.”

I wanted to smack her with the back of my hand and promptly ask her what the fuck she was thinking, but it would not look good for me to refuse to meet with my subjects. Plus, if she was suggesting this, there was a good reason.

Slowly, I nodded at my friend and lied, “You’re right. How soon can we have that arranged? Is there room in the tournament schedule?”

“I think so. We could delay trial three until next week, and schedule a forum with the citizens for later this week. Give them enough time to travel.”

At the other end of the table, Ursula leaned forward. “Couldn’t this be an official trial in itself? Letting the males aid Her Majesty in hearing grievances and handling disputes? It could help us all to see how well they work together—how they will potentially rule together.”

A hand lighted upon my left knee and gave a gentle, reassuring stroke, and I peered sidelong at Matthias. He wasn’t looking at me, but somehow I knew his easy smile and slight dip of his chin was meant for me—his silent way of letting me know I wasn’t in this alone.

Through the next two courses, the Assembly made small talk with the contestants sitting among them. I heard none of it, though, as my mind was a jumble of worried thoughts over what would happen when I was to meet with my subjects again. While no more humans had been discovered since the tournament began, it was always a possibility. I had specifically not asked about the status of moving the humans out of the kingdom, as it was the last topic I wanted to discuss in mixed company, but I should have known one of the Assembly advisors would mention it for that very reason.

Ursula waited until all the plates had been cleared away before finally broaching the subject.

“Does anyone know where we stand on getting the humans out of the kingdom? I believe all have been evacuated from my province. How about you, Opal?” she asked the young advisor to her right, who nearly choked on her wine.

“Oh, yes, no, well…” she stammered. “For the most part we have helped them relocate to Wrenwick.”

I tensed at the mention of the kingdom responsible for Brennan’s death. I’d hired Minerva to appropriately punish them, but I knew none of the specifics of the curse she’d offered. I should have asked more questions, but knowing the mage, she would have refused to answer them anyway—not without requiring even more payment from me, that was. So that left me sitting here pondering how she might have cursed them and if they were suffering as I had.

Hopefully worse.

“Your Majesty?” Ursula’s crisp tone pierced through my thoughts, and I blinked, looking up at eleven pairs of eyes all staring at me.

“Yes?” I asked as casually as I could, but Isa cleared her throat beside me and flicked her eyes down to the table, where my clasped hands were now obscured by my creeping shadows.

Shit.

I couldn’t let them see my panic, though. I needed to demonstrate I was in control, despite my careless lack thereof that I’d just displayed, letting my shadows emerge as they had. Calling my power back into my veins, I opened my palms for all to witness them disappear, but I said nothing.

Warren smiled—though it appeared more like a friendly sneer, if there was such a thing. “It’s nice to see you’ve gotten yourself under control now.”

Slowly, I slipped my hands into my lap, maintaining my hold on my shadows despite the rage his words lit within me. The fucking prick had the nerve to deride me in front of guests. While I didn’t want to be forced to marry any of them, I sure as fuck didn’t want to be insulted in their presence either. But I couldn’t make a scene, couldn’t let my anger get the better of me.

Nodding, I donned a polite smile. “Thank you, Warren. I’ve been working on being more intentional with how I use my shadows.”

Matthias coughed behind his hand, and my smile broadened as I tried not to laugh at just how intentional I’d been with him the other night.

“Though, I won’t hesitate to use them when necessary,” I added.

The table went silent, as if everyone was contemplating when my shadows might be necessary. The servers returned with small plates of macarons, and I tried to ignore the way Matthias’s eyes lit up—just a bit—at the sight of my favorite dessert.

“When would such power be necessary?” This question came from Korben, who was leaning back in his seat, staring at his dessert as if I might have poisoned it.

“Oh, I don’t know,” I said, shrugging. Keeping one hand in my lap, I picked up a macaron with the other and turned it this way and that. As I did, I called my shadows out beneath the table, directing them to drift toward Matthias. “They come in quite handy when I can’t sleep.”

Matthias gulped down his macaron just as my shadows crept up his thigh, slipping beneath his waistband, and finding him already anticipating what was to come. Slowly, I guided my shadows along his rigid form, and smiled when I noticed him shift in his seat, giving my shadows better access.

“They also work surprisingly well to move items, to subdue attackers, or to punish criminals.”

Putting another macaron in his mouth, Matthias leaned forward, letting his eyes drift closed as if he were simply savoring the decadent sweet and not getting secretly stroked and teased. I noticed Isa eyeing me with a warning glare, and I turned to her with a wide, innocent stare.

Warren’s sharp gaze hit me. “Or attack your own staff?”

“When they need reminded of their places, yes. Am I not to use my powers to protect the kingdom?” I glanced around the table. “What good is it to have such abilities if I can’t use them to help others?”

On those final words, I tightened my shadows’ grip around Matthias’s hard length, gave him a few more vigorous strokes for good measure, and then pulled the darkness back into my hand. Matthias stared down at the table for a second before lifting a hand to his temple, as if he were suddenly suffering from an intense headache. No one around us seemed to notice—except Isa, who still glowered at me disapprovingly.

Spreading my hands wide above the table, I clasped them together and bowed my head to my guests.

“Now, if you would please excuse me. It is getting late, and I could use a bath after such a long day.”

I didn’t wait for a response before pushing back my chair and turning to leave. No one moved. No one said anything. No one came after me. And I couldn’t be bothered to give a shit what they said about me once I left.

As Matthias had reminded me, I was the stars-damned queen. And I could do whatever I wanted.