Page 23 of Once the Skies Fade (Immortal Reveries #2)

Chapter 23

Calla

M y shadows clung to me so tightly I could almost imagine being cradled by strong arms rather than collapsed on the enchanted forest’s leafy floor. The comforting scent of the woods filled the fresh cracks in my resolve, but there was something more wafting on the air, penetrating my magic’s dark void.

Warm brandy.

Oiled leather.

Sweet hay and apples that reminded me of horses.

Immediately those stars-damned hazel eyes appeared in my mind’s eye.

Unlike Brennan’s, which had been a dull brownish-green like the color of the forest on a cloudy day, these were bright with orange and gold swirling in a pool of deep green. Even in the dim light of my family’s forest, his eyes had shone with an irritating optimism—a carefree mirth I couldn’t help but envy.

Without warning, a forest rushed into focus, but it wasn’t the enchanted trees and vines of my home that surrounded me.

The wet, earthy scent of mud flooded my senses, and I looked up to find feathery boughs lined with lanterns. Faint, familiar voices echoed somewhere in the distance. Something warm slipped into my hand, and I didn’t need to look to know whose hand grasped mine, the contours of his hand and the squeeze of his fingers around mine pulling me back to memories I had tried to lock away.

Tears crowded my eyes, but I could not shut them no matter how hard I tried, as if the very stars demanded I remember this moment. Air refused to fill my lungs. My heart rattled behind my sternum. And then a finger guided my chin around, forcing me to face the male I’d loved and lost.

But Brennan wasn’t there.

My hand turned cold, empty.

My chest caved, as if my heart itself were collapsing.

My body became heavy, weighed down by the intense loneliness of grief.

I wasn’t alone, though.

Before me stood my friends, Lieke and Connor, their hands clasped between them as they peered lovingly at each other.

Don’t make me witness this!

I can’t bear to see their bliss when my own has ended!

My mind refused to listen to my cries, denied me the solace I sought.

Someone stepped into view, and I stopped short.

The male from the forest today.

My mouth went dry. My fingers began to tremble. My battered and broken heart climbed into my throat.

Of course. This is where I had seen him before—Lieke and Connor’s wedding.

It had been an intimate affair with only close friends and family in attendance. So he knew the Durands intimately. My mind throbbed as I scrambled aimlessly for any details of that day that might help. The memory became clearer, the dark fog along the edge of my vision clearing, as I watched the male drop a hand onto the prince’s shoulder. He pulled the bride into a one-armed embrace. They were close. They were good friends.

He turned to face me, the floating lantern light deepening the orange in his eyes, and then I caught his name on the prince’s lips.

Matthias.

General Matthias.

My eyes flashed open.

My shadows were gone.

The comforting scent and soothing warmth vanished with them.

It took me a moment to recognize the rich wood beams of the ceiling above my bed. Sweat pooled under my legs, hot and restless. Thrusting the coverlet off, I leaped up. My vision blurred, spots and stars dancing in front of me as my head reacted to the sudden change in position, but I ignored it and stomped across my room and out into the hallway.

I needed to find Isa, tell her who this competitor was, warn her that he couldn’t be allowed into the games.

Wait. I froze mid-step on the stairs.

How had I ended up back in my bed?

Had he carried me home?

He couldn’t have. He wouldn’t have.

Even as I wished that to be the case, I knew—somehow I knew—he never would have been able to leave me there, deadly forest or no.

I groaned softly to myself and pressed my fingertips to my temple. This would make it more difficult to disqualify him. I would be seen as ungrateful, unkind. I’d already been seen as worse, though. If tarnishing my reputation further could protect me from this male and the past life I wanted to forget, then so be it. I would endure the sideways glances and whispered rumors.

Isa would understand.

She would help me, as she always did.

Flying down the stairs—as fast as I could without falling—I rushed toward the courtyard, carried forward by sheer hope I would catch her before the registration and oaths. I stepped out into the square courtyard, welcoming the biting cold of the stone walkway against the soles of my feet. The door across the space opened, and Isa appeared, her face lighting up at the sight of me.

“Your Majesty,” she said around a gentle smile. “How are you feeling?”

Males streamed out of the room behind her, and my stomach tightened at the thought of seeing Matthias again.

“He can’t compete.” The words rushed from my lips before I could stop them, louder than I intended.

Isa’s brows lifted slightly, but otherwise she showed no surprise at my words. Her calmness—normally welcome and appreciated—now grated on me as she responded. “He can, and he will.”

I stalked forward until I was nearly in her face and lowered my voice. “Do you even know who I mean?”

“It doesn’t matter who you mean. All have been registered. All have taken their oaths.”

“Undo it,” I hissed.

Sympathy filled my friend’s eyes. “You know I can’t.”

“Why would you let him enter?”

At this Isa glanced over her shoulder and lifted her chin, addressing the males standing awkwardly nearby. “Please return to your rooms. Dinner will be served at sunset.”

Everyone started to move, and I fisted my hands. “No!” I barked, and they all halted in place, their apprehensive gazes locked on Isa and me.

She reached for my elbow, but I yanked it away from her. “He is close to…”

I couldn’t say their names. All of this healing I’d thought I’d done, and I couldn’t even utter his family name.

Isa lighted a touch on my forearm and said, softly, “I know, Calla.”

Her words punched hard, sending me backwards half a step as if she’d actually hit me. “What? You knew and you still?—”

“I had to.” I opened my mouth to protest, but she raised a hand between us, stopping me from speaking. Leaning in close, her breath warmed my ear as she explained. “Perception is everything, especially right now. If we were to allow the other males of Emeryn but bar the general, simply because of his connections to the royal family, that would bolster the rumors that you are behind Brennan’s death. By letting him compete—as painful as it is—you strengthen your claim of innocence by showing there is no ill will between your families and no fear of retaliation.”

I stiffened at that last word, the blood in my veins chilling.

Could the Durands actually believe the absurd rumors? Would they truly seek to avenge Brennan’s death?

I was family. We were family. Surely they knew I would never do such a thing.

Clasping my trembling hands in front of me, I fought to maintain some semblance of composure, but it was a battle I was losing quickly. Admittedly I hadn’t behaved well at the burial, but they couldn’t actually see that as anything but intense grief.

Did they hate me?

Did they blame me?

The questions swirled around my mind like a brewing storm, but the more I pondered them, the more my fear and regret shifted into a bitter anger. I kept my hands clamped together now, not to steady their trembling, but to prevent myself from doing anything reckless and regrettable.

Isa eyed me carefully, quietly assessing me as she had done so many times since Brennan’s death. Securing my hands in hers, she offered a reassuring smile.

“I am not saying that is what I suspect, Calla.”

“But it’s a possibility.” My words came out a growled whisper, not from caution, but rage. Her chin lowered slightly in affirmation. If his family could believe—or even just entertain the idea—that I had a hand in killing my husband, did that mean… I glared suspiciously at my friend who still wrapped her hands protectively around mine.

She didn’t flinch under my silent accusation, and she held my gaze steadily. “I know you did not do it,” she whispered softly. “I know how much you loved him, and how much he loved you in return.”

Fresh tears stung the edges of my eyes, and I pressed my lips together as hard as I could to still them.

Isa lifted a hand to my shoulder, gently consoling me with easy strokes of her thumb. “I do not believe they would turn on you so quickly, even in their time of grief, but it would be unwise to ignore the potential risk.” She leaned closer, once more whispering into my ear. “Better to keep him close where we can watch him.”

I winced at the reminder that the dozen males remained with us in the courtyard, all their eyes watching us—watching me. Peering around Isa, I studied them. Some appeared nervous, their attention darting jerkily around the space as if they didn’t know where to look. Others looked amused, sneaking glances at each other with irritating smirks on their faces. Graham, his face twisted with concern, restlessly stood there as if fighting back the urge to run to my aid as he would have as advisor.

And then there was the last. Matthias.

I couldn’t read his expression. He seemed disinterested—bored, even—and the only indication that his mind hadn’t wandered off to some daydream was the confidence with which his eyes found mine. Here in the courtyard light, their hazel hues outshone the others, but there was none of the earlier humor and passion in them now. Had I imagined it back in the forest? My insides squirmed uncomfortably, and I wrenched my gaze away.

“I’d best get some more rest before the dinner tonight,” I said to Isa, knowing full well that no amount of rest could prepare me for any of this. Before she could respond, I pivoted away from her and headed back to my room.