Page 27 of Once the Skies Fade (Immortal Reveries #2)

Chapter 27

Calla

W hat happened in there?” Isa hissed at me as soon as we were alone in the hallway.

I lifted my hands between us, palms toward the ceiling. Shaking my head, I stared down at them, surprised to find them steady.

“I don’t know,” I said. Isa didn’t buy it.

“I think you do,” she said, her glare stern but still somehow kind. “If we’re going to get through this without a stars-damned incident, Calla, I need you to get a hold of it. The Assembly?—”

“I know,” I interrupted as irritation began to burn in my chest. “They’re looking for any excuse to be rid of me.”

Grabbing my hands in hers, Isa squeezed my fingers reassuringly, and her eyes softened. “Twice now you’ve lost control of them. And both times, it was around him. If he did something?—”

“No,” I blurted out. Isa’s eyes widened as she jutted her chin forward, waiting for my explanation.

But only a string of curses rattled through my mind.

He called me Killer! What if he believes the rumors? Allowing him to stay is a risk.

Here was a chance to get him removed from the tournament and sent home, assuming that was the only punishment he’d face. As much as I didn’t want him here—as much as I worried about his motives, I didn’t want him to be executed either.

Drawing in a deep breath, I slipped my hands from hers and fisted them at my sides as if I could harness my magic’s power that way and find the courage to explain this.

She’s your best friend.

You can tell her.

“He reminds me of…” I started, but my voice gave out before I could finish.

“Emeryn?”

I shook my head. “Brennan.”

His name was a choked whisper, the first time I’d uttered it since that night. Isa flinched but said nothing for a long moment.

“How?” she finally asked, expression twisted in confusion.

“I don’t know. One moment I’m fine—relatively speaking—but then he has a look or he says something, and it’s like I’m drowning again. The shadows…my shadows…they just appear, like they’re responding to my distress and trying to protect me or something. It sounds ridiculous.”

“It sounds anything but ridiculous, Calla. We all respond to trauma differently, and sometimes subconsciously.”

“How do I control it though?”

“You hid it for years. How did you do it then?”

“I was happy, Isa. It’s like my heart didn’t need their help then. My parents’ death roused the shadows a bit. I could feel them stirring, but I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I had Brennan steadying me. I didn’t need the darkness. And then…he…”

Thankfully Isa didn’t finish the thought for me but bobbed her head slowly, her eyes peering up to the ceiling as she contemplated all I’d said. A few shaky breaths later, she caught my gaze again, and her face lit up with hope.

Gripping my shoulders with both hands, she said, “I’ll talk to the healers tonight. I’m sure they’ll have something to help with the panic when it hits. If we can quell that, it should keep your powers from reacting.”

“But what if I need them?”

“The hope is not to suppress the shadows completely but to calm the emotions that are calling them out. You should be able to harness them as needed. We need to keep you in control of them, not the other way around.”

“Are you sure the healers can help?”

“If such a tonic exists, they will know of it, and I will get it for you. Once the first trial starts, I will bring it to you.”

Ice shot up my spine at the mention of the trial. My mind flooded with images of what the forest would do to the males who entered tomorrow. While I’d never witnessed it myself, I had heard the screams of the unlucky souls who had traipsed through it the first time. I had seen the bones left to decompose on the forest floor.

“Are you sure this first trial is wise? Is it too cruel?”

Isa’s brow tightened, lowering over her eyes. “It was your idea, Calla, and it was a good one. You don’t have a lot of time. The faster we cull the lot, the closer we get to securing your crown.” She paused, a hint of suspicion clouding her gaze. “Are you concerned for a particular male’s safety?”

“Of course not,” I balked. “Don’t be absurd. I don’t want any of them to die, but that’s not the same as worrying over their safety.”

“So why the hesitation now, after weeks of preparation?”

I searched my mind for a reason, for any hint of the cause for the unease building in my gut.

Isa continued to speak through my silence. “They all knew what they were facing in these games. We made the danger clear. We need our next king to?—”

“You’re right,” I said quickly, but her words had already stung my heart.

Next king.

Was this to be my life from now on—constantly, continuously having my soul’s wounds ripped open by mere words and glances from strangers?

“You’re right,” I repeated. “But do you think it was wrong to hire?—”

“Stop. No more second-guessing yourself. You know we don’t have the numbers to guard the entire forest; we need his help. Trust yourself. Trust me.”

Biting down on my lip, I repeated her words in my head.

Stop second-guessing yourself.

We had spent countless hours devising these trials, ensuring they tested the males for the qualities that would best serve our kingdom. I had known this plan would mean some would die, and even suffer greatly as they did. If I couldn’t escape the torturous fate of having to marry again, then why did I want to spare them pain as they fought for my hand?

No, if I hurt, then so would they. If they wanted to one day share my bed, they were going to have to earn it.