Page 42 of Once the Skies Fade (Immortal Reveries #2)
Chapter 42
Calla
T he castle’s silence grated my nerves as I walked along the paths among the trees in the courtyard. With the competitors off the grounds for the second trial, my staff had a much-needed day off from tending to our guests. Most seemed to be spending that time locked in their rooms. Maybe they preferred the quiet, but a large part of me suspected their fear of me drove them into hiding.
Not that I could blame them. I’d likely behave the same way in their shoes—serving a queen with a temper and the power to rip out throats without lifting a finger. My shadows stirred, as though awakened by my thoughts, and—after glancing around to ensure I was truly alone—I called them out.
They swirled around my palms, weaving through my fingers and spiraling up my arms. I was about to let them loose to dance over the stones at my feet when a voice, bold with a wary quake at its edges, rang out.
“Your Majesty, the carriage is here.”
My shadows perked up. Like a snake spooked by an encroaching danger, they swept around me and reared back, pointing in the direction of the speaker.
Hilde tensed, her eyes locked on the dark wisps surrounding me.
I whispered to my power, “Easy.” Slithering back to my hands, my shadows succumbed to my call to return, though I allowed them to continue to trail across the backs of my hands and around my wrists—a comfort in my loneliness and a reminder of my strength.
“For our guest?” I asked, and her brows twitched slightly as she nodded.
“Oryn, yes, Your Majesty.”
Slowly I strode toward her, both relishing and loathing how she trembled in my wake. I craved her fear, but also her respect––though I recognized the inherent contradiction in that. This had become my new normal, this walking conundrum that was my heart—desiring solitude but also companionship, wanting power but also relief from my burdens. I could never have it all.
“Thank you, Hilde,” I said, as I stopped in front of the female, sure to give her more than an arm’s reach of space.
She recoiled, her eyes growing large. “You remember my name?”
I bristled. What kind of queen did she think I was? I may have been more temperamental of late, but did she—stars, did the entire staff—really think I didn’t know them?
Tamping down my disappointment, I offered a half-smile. “Of course, I do.”
Hilde said nothing, but her gaze flicked down once again to my restless shadows still playing around my hands and arms. I lifted my hands slightly, trying not to take it personally when she flinched as if I were about to strike her. Gradually, I pulled my shadows back into my palms and tucked my hands into the pockets hidden in the folds of my dress.
“Have a few of the staff help you move Oryn to the carriage,” I instructed.
She dipped her chin crisply and muttered, “Yes, Your Majesty.”
She’d turned halfway around to leave when she stopped and looked back at me. “Thank you for being willing to send him home. When General Matthias said he was going to ask you…” Her voice trailed away as she peered down at the ground.
“You thought he was mad?” I asked, fighting back a smile.
Hilde nodded. “You haven’t been the most approachable since?—”
“I know.” I snapped out the words harsher than I meant to, but the pity in her eyes was enough to darken my spirits. I wasn’t about to let her utter a word about my dead family. “Thank you for doing what you could to keep the male comfortable. I know it will give his family some much-needed peace.”
That was a lie.
Death brought no peace. Only misery and pain.
I expected Hilde to leave, but instead she squared her shoulders to me. Bitterness brewed in her eyes and pulsed in her jaw, and on instinct, I tugged my shadows from my veins, my hands still buried deep in my pockets.
“And what about peace for the families of the fallen?” she asked, and I had to give her credit for such a display of courage, talking to me like that.
“General Marlowe is overseeing the logistics, but I assure you we are showing the competitors’ families the respect they deserve.”
“And your own subjects you’ve killed?”
I should have taken a breath.
I should have counted or some other calming nonsense the healers had recommended.
I should have remembered to take my tonic this morning.
But I did none of those.
My shadows were at Hilde’s throat, squeezing her neck before I’d even pulled my hands free from my pockets. I lifted her slowly, until only the balls of her feet remained touching the ground. Walking toward her, I reveled in the renewed fear playing across her features.
“Hilde, Hilde, Hilde,” I said, clicking my tongue. “As you yourself mentioned, I’m not approachable. So what made you think you could speak to me in such a way?”
“Can’t breathe,” she rasped out, her hands grasping feverishly at my shadows. With nothing tangible to grip, her nails found only her own flesh, clawing long gashes in her neck in desperation.
“If you would like to continue to live here, you will stay that tongue of yours,” I said in a low, dark tone. “Continue this insolence, though, and you will be punished so harshly, so slowly, that you will beg me to kill you too.”
She tried to nod despite my shadows’ iron hold, and in a flash, I pulled my power back and watched her fall to the ground, her knees hitting the stone walkway with a heavy crunch. Looming over her, I peered down and nudged her with my toe until she lifted her chin to look at me.
“I appreciate your help with the injured and dying, Hilde. I do. But as long as I’m your queen, you will show some respect.”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” she whispered, lifting her hands to her injured neck. When she pulled her fingers away to find them streaked with blood, the fear in her eyes slowly shifted into the bitter defiance she’d shown earlier.
Guilt hollowed out my gut, and I pressed my palms together in a vain attempt to calm my nerves.
What the fuck had I done?
Isa was going to be furious.
The Assembly would hear of this and do all they could to drag me from the throne.
I needed a stars-damned drink.