Page 53 of Once the Skies Fade (Immortal Reveries #2)

Chapter 53

Calla

I stormed off of the dais and out of the room as the guards hauled the prisoners and Matthias away. Through the roar of anger in my ears, I could faintly hear Isa behind me instructing the crowd that the citizens’ forum was ending early. Once in the royal sitting room behind the Great Hall, I threw my shadows out around me, channeling all of my anger into my power. Paintings crashed to the floor as I tore them off the walls. Cushions exploded into clouds of feathers as I ripped them apart.

The general thought he could challenge me? And in front of everyone like that?

As good as his intentions were, he had made a fool of me.

Concealed in my shadows, I moved through the castle hallways, pausing in the darkness cast by the lamp light whenever someone walked past. The air grew colder as I made my way down the spiral stone steps to the holding cells. We rarely used these, as the forest generally kept enemies or attackers from making it very far, and we’d lived in relative peace since the war ended. Though with the number of humans who’d defied my orders, the cells had recently seen more use.

At the bottom of the stairs, I paused and listened. Matthias’s voice, though quiet, reverberated through the small space.

“Who is watching after Lorynne and Gabe? And the children you took in?” he asked, and my mind snagged on the first name, recalling how I had run my hand over Matthias’s tattoo.

Lorynne. His niece.

Was one of the women his sister?

The demi-fae.

Of course.

There had been something annoyingly familiar about her features, and that must have been why. She was the general’s half-sister. No wonder he had stepped in to protect them, though that didn’t explain his connection to the other woman.

“Lottie is staying at the house while I’m away. She had planned to make this trip, but we knew the humans in Arenysen didn’t trust fae, so I offered to come instead.”

“That was stupid of you,” Matthias said, humorlessly.

“You’re one to talk, brother. What in the stars are you doing sitting by that evil queen’s side?”

Before he could respond, the other woman’s voice chimed in. “He’s entered her tournament, competing to be the new king.”

“What? Why? You’ve never been interested in settling down,” his sister said.

Matthias gave a half-hearted chuckle, and part of me longed to hear the booming laughter he’d let out the other night. “The king thinks I work too much, wanted me to have a chance at love, I guess.”

“And he thought a murderous queen was the perfect match, eh?”

“It’s not quite that simple; she—” Matthias started, but his sister cut him off.

“—Murdered that couple today, Matthias! She ripped apart those poor kids’ mother! Or did you forget?—”

“No, I haven’t forgotten.”

“She’s a stars-damned Shadow Keeper! The same type of monster who killed my husband, your best friend.” Her voice cracked as grief took hold of her, and I winced from the pinch of guilt, as if he had died by my own shadows.

“I know, Sera. I miss him too. I know what she’s done, but even monsters have their reasons,” Matthias said quietly.

“You cannot seriously be defending her!”

“She’s hurting,” he tried to explain. “She’s lost everyone she loved. Grief makes you do insane things sometimes.”

“You didn’t see me go on a killing spree when Gabriel died.”

“It affects everyone differently. You know that.”

His sister was speaking again before he’d even finished his sentence. “For all we know, she really did kill Brennan. You saw what she’s capable of. You saw how little compassion she has for others. All she cares about is herself and her insane law. Why is she banishing the humans? Why?”

“I don’t know,” Matthias muttered.

The other woman quietly spoke. “I don’t think she did it.”

“What?” Sera asked. “Raven, you’re the one who basically accused her to her face.”

“And did you see her reaction?” The woman—Raven—asked. “That wasn’t the wail of someone trying to get away with murder. That was the desperate cry of a mourning heart. Matthias is right. She’s hurting.”

“So you don’t think she’s the one ordering the poison?” Matthias asked.

Raven was silent for a moment but then answered. “I had my suspicions, but if she was the one securing it, why would she exile the very people who stand to benefit? It doesn’t make any sense. The poison is being brought in to help the humans and weaken the fae.”

“Only in Emeryn, though,” Matthias added. “The rebels aren’t targeting Arenysen at all.”

“True. Seems the rebel network here was simply helping to transport it to the other kingdoms.”

“Maybe she exiled them to stop the traffic of poison?” Matthias asked, though he didn’t sound convinced. “Or…I don’t know.”

“I can’t believe you two are so willing to overlook the blood on her hands,” Sera said, bitterness coating every word.

Matthias quietly responded, “I’m not overlooking anything. I just don’t think it is quite so black and white.”

“And what happens if you win this tournament? You just forget everything she’s done and marry her?”

Matthias was quiet for so long, my insides knotted uncomfortably. He’d made a vow to be loyal to me if he won. Would he purposefully try to lose the tournament to avoid that? Had he been doing that all along? He’d come in last in the first two trials not knowing he’d end up in the lead anyway.

A quiet growl shook in the back of my throat.

I wasn’t doing this in hopes of finding love. I was doing this to keep my kingdom. I shouldn’t care what one male thought about me.

Stomping loudly down the hallway, I called out, “General!”

Without hesitation—as if he had known I was there listening the whole time—he answered, “Over here, Killer.” His tone lacked the playfulness usually present when he used that nickname. I chided myself for missing his flirting teases.

Stopping in front of a set of bars, I looked down to see him sitting against the dank wall next to the gate, his legs outstretched before him and crossed at the ankles. In his hands he spun his father’s ring, but he didn’t lift his eyes to me.

“Come with me,” I said curtly. “We need to talk.”

“Wouldn’t you know, the guards forgot to leave me the key,” he said, his tone still flat.

Sending my shadows into the lock, I snapped it open and pushed the gate inward, banging the edge of it into his leg. He didn’t wince or react at all. “Wouldn’t you know, I have ways around locks,” I said. “Now come on.”

At the end of the hallway, I led him into a room with an iron door, using my shadows to slam it shut behind him.

“Your shadows work in an iron cell?” he asked with more curiosity than was comfortable.

Ignoring his question, I said, “Against the wall, arms up.”

Surprisingly, he obliged, even going so far as to smirk, though the humor didn’t reach his eyes.

“If you wanted to get me tied up, you could have just asked. No need to threaten those I care about,” he said, not reacting at all as my shadows locked iron cuffs around his wrists so that his arms were suspended by a thick iron chain connected to the ceiling.

For a long moment, I simply stared at him, trying to pinpoint what it was about this particular male that twisted me in such confusing knots. How could one male make me hot with rage and desire at the same time? Why did I feel so drawn to him, even while wanting to strangle him? Was I being mocked by the stars? Was this their idea of a damned joke? If so, I wasn’t laughing.

But Matthias was.

“What’s so funny?” I demanded, forcing myself to step away from him, not trusting my hands to stay off him. He was fully clothed, but my memories needed no help in stripping him down.

Fuck. Get a grip, Calla.

Matthias’s laughter faded, leaving a too-attractive half-smile on his lips. “You look so conflicted, Killer. Like you can’t decide whether to kill me or fuck me.”

Steeling my expression, I drew in a long breath, desperate to hide just how accurate his assessment was. My shadows itched to be freed of my palms, as if they, too, yearned to feel him again. This was a mistake. I should not have come down here, at least not alone. Looking toward the door, I contemplated leaving him here while I went to find Isa, but that would just prove my weakness, and I refused to have him think me weak or fragile.

Turning back to him, I darkened my expression and let my head fall to one side. I studied him for a quiet moment more, tapping a finger to my lips steadily as I gathered my thoughts.

“I should kill you,” I said. “What you did back there? I should have strangled you where you stood.”

He cocked a brow at me, his gaze falling to where I now folded my hands at my waist. His eyes flicked back up to mine. “Your shadows like me too much.”

“You think so?” I asked, and I hoped he didn’t sense the shaky doubt I was trying to conceal. I’d begun to think the same thing. As much as they were a part of me, they also seemed to have a consciousness of their own, and more than once they had acted as though they were connected to him as well.

How utterly absurd.

He shifted the corners of his lips down into that too-adorable frown. “You could always let them loose and ask them,” he suggested.

“No.” The word fell from my mouth before I could think of anything cleverer to say.

Matthias shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Well, then, let’s get on with it. What do you want to talk about?”

“Why in such a hurry?” I asked.

“Quickly losing my patience with your games, is all,” he said, his face instantly dissolving into an expression of bored irritation.

“I haven’t even begun to play games with you, general,” I said. He didn’t take the bait, though, and I had to swallow down my bitterness when he simply asked his question again.

“What do you want?”

What do I want?

Peace. An end to this madness. Freedom from this grief. To be done with all of these damned rumors. For my enemies to be punished thoroughly.

I didn’t mention any of these though. What was the point of voicing them when he couldn’t do anything to help me achieve them?

“I want to know why you stopped me from killing those women.”

His face tightened in confusion. “No.”

“What do you mean no ?” I pinched my lips together and tried to calm my anger.

“That’s not what you want.”

“Well, I certainly don’t want you , if that’s what you’re thinking.”

This earned me a hint of a smirk. “Seems to be what you’re thinking of, Killer. But no.” His expression sobered. “That’s not where I was going.”

“So…what then?”

“You want to know what you should do with those women. What you should do with me, even.”

Ignoring how he was annoyingly right, I scoffed unconvincingly. “Why would I ask you for advice when you’re the reason I’m in this fucking mess to begin with?”

“Actually, you’re the reason. If you never banished the humans, you wouldn’t?—”

“They’re the ones who refused to obey the law!” I shouted at him.

“And what does that law achieve, Calla? How does it help you?” he asked, his hazel eyes penetrating the invisible shield I wanted to keep between us. When I didn’t answer, he repeated his question from before. “What did the humans do to you?”

I knew Minerva’s magic would prevent me from explaining, but still, I opened my mouth to answer him. As expected, silence. No matter how hard I tried to push the words out, they snagged somewhere in my throat. Growling, I threw my hands up in the air and spun around.

“You can’t say it, can you?” Matthias asked, his voice surprisingly gentle, more understanding than I deserved. I dropped my chin to my chest. Fucking mage. Her spell wouldn’t even let me confirm his suspicions. Perhaps I could find a way around it, but I was simply too tired to bother. No one would believe me anyway. Even if I could tell them.

Matthias sighed heavily. “Let them go, Calla. You don’t want to kill anyone else. This isn’t you.”

I rounded on him, closing the distance between us in half a breath. I sneered, pouring all my frustration and anger out on him. “You think you know me, general.”

“I do,” he whispered, his eyes showing no fear, not even uneasiness.

“Just because I let you fuck me, doesn’t mean?—”

“Let me?” he asked, barking out a laugh. “ You were the one who begged me, after you came to my room…twice.”

Fuck-it-all, he wasn’t wrong. I couldn’t deny it either, and there was no reason to.

Drawing in a slow, calming breath, I asked through my teeth, “Why should I let them go?”

“Because Lieke is still your sister-in-law, and Raven is her cousin.”

“That connection died with Brennan,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady as I uttered his name.

“Lieke doesn’t see it that way.”

I rolled my eyes, my patience wearing thin. I should have just left, but I couldn’t. “And what about the other?”

“My sister.”

“And why should I care about your family?”

“Because you care about me,” he said. His tone was gentle, but still his statement hit me like a bolt to the chest. I froze, trying to find the words I needed to refute it, but before I could, he continued. “You can keep pretending you don’t care about me at all. That’s fine. I’ll play along with that for as long as you need me to, but these women shouldn’t pay the price just because you’re too proud to admit?—”

“Admit what?” I slammed my hands against his chest, my fingers instinctively curling into him, grasping his shirt in my fists. The words tumbled out, slipping past the crumbling guard around my heart. “Admit I can’t control this need to be near you? That I can’t seem to escape this fucking hold you have on me? Or admit that I hate myself for having feelings for you?”

Tears crowded the edges of my eyes, but I couldn’t seem to let go of him to wipe them away. My husband’s body was barely cold in the ground, and I was here holding on to another male as if he could keep me from drowning in my grief.

A smile started to tug at Matthias’s lips, but he hid it quickly. “I was going to say you’re too proud to admit that you’re wrong, but…” He paused, his hazel eyes searching mine, as if he could actually see my cracked heart and darkened soul. “I don’t understand this at all.”

“Understand what?” I whispered, my voice losing all strength under the weight of his stare.

“Us.”