Page 15 of Not His Usual Style (Diamonds of London #10)
“Do hush, Montague.” She reached out and patted his hand.
“I merely wished to say that last night opened my eyes to so many things I’d never known.
” When she pressed her lips together while thinking, he knew an insane urge to kiss her.
“I had no idea my body could do the things you encouraged it to do, had no clue that such bliss existed, but I feel I must thank you for showing me such; I certainly wasn’t aware of that other side of life when engaged to Louis. ”
“What?” Shock plowed into him, and from the corner of his eye, he spied the black swan leaving the water. “He never bedded you before going back to war?” It was bad form to even discuss this, but since she’d introduced the subject…
“No.” Victoria shook her head. “Um, there was never time for us to be alone together. So many visits, especially following the engagement. Then he was gone with a kiss and a promise.” Sadness shadowed her remarkable eyes.
“There wasn’t time to let the engagement sink in or to revel in it or even plan a wedding. There was just… nothing.”
Feeling helpless in the face of her emotions, he dared to take her hand in his, held it, merely in support, or so he told himself. “I’m sorry. Sometimes life forces us down paths that have absolutely no joy in the journey.”
“Is that what you feel as your wedding day approaches?”
“A bit, but it is something I must do; I made a promise to my father as he lay dying.” To his horror, his own emotions crowded his throat.
He couldn’t allow them to show, to be vulnerable in front of this woman he wanted so badly to impress for some reason.
After clearing his throat, he said, “It is difficult, and sometimes, all I want is to be needed just for me. I don’t suppose that will happen because that isn’t how society works. ”
Before she could respond, the black swan approached with a melody of joyful honking as he made his way over the grass toward him. When Victoria shied away from the bird, Grey squeezed her fingers.
“Don’t fear him. He’s harmless if a bit annoying.” As the honking grew louder, he made soothing sounds to the bird until he calmed. “Hullo, Dapper. I’d wondered where you’d gotten off to.”
A gasp escaped her. “You have made friends with a black swan?”
“It’s more like he made friends with me, so I named him Dapper because he is quite handsome.
” The bird kept dipping his head. Every so often, he would nip at the hem of Grey’s greatcoat and the toes of his boots.
“Uh, you see, six months ago, I had come out here in an effort to clear my head. The river portion of the Serpentine was a bit frozen, and this gentle idiot had lingered too long in the water.”
“Oh, and the ice had formed about his legs, trapping him,” Victoria finished for him. When she reached out a gloved hand and Dapper nipped at her fingers, she snatched them back with a squeal.
“Exactly. I couldn’t let the lad suffer, so I went out to him, hacked away the ice with my pocket watch—while he proceeded to nip at my head and shoulders—then once he was free to paddle about or waddle about, he formed some sort of odd attachment to me.
” He shrugged as heat rose on the back of his neck.
“Now, every time he sees me here, he gets excited and rushes over to me for conversation and the occasional pet. Most times, he just stands or sits at my feet while we both watch the world go by.”
“That is adorable!” She turned her head and looked fully at him. “You’ve bonded with him.”
“Yes, I suppose I have.” When he drew his gloved fingers along Dapper’s sleek head, the bird shivered and issued a soft honk.
“From what I can gather, he’s a middle-aged swan, and I think he lost his mate.
He might be annoying and attention seeking, but that’s only because he’s lonely, so I’ll sit with him while I’m here.
Sometimes, it’s a challenge to return to my carriage since he’ll follow, but we manage. ”
Marvel and wonder slipped through her expression. “That’s so lovely of you to do.” She patted Grey’s thigh, and he nearly launched from the bench from that touch. “No doubt you’re a bit lonely as well, even though you live a life many envy.”
How the devil did she know him so well? “Perhaps.”
Eventually, Dapper returned to the water to glide along the surface with a contingent of ducks. At least he had friends to keep him company.
Then Grey stood and held out a hand to her. “I should probably escort you home. I told my driver to return in an hour. By the time we walk back to the entrance, that hour will have elapsed.”
“You don’t need to do this.” Yet she slipped her fingers into his palm.
Heat streaked up his arm to his elbow. “I do, and I will continue to do so until you are safe, and the fate of the necklace has been decided.” Then he tugged her into a standing position. “Please don’t tell anyone about Dapper.”
When she giggled, his world tilted. “I won’t. It will be our secret.”
“Thank you.” After pulling her hand through his crooked elbow, he escorted her along the paths until they reached the arched entrance where his carriage waited. “And thank you for allowing me to share a part of the afternoon with you.”
“You are welcome any time you’d like to pop over for a visit.”
They didn’t share any other conversation on the short ride from Hyde Park to her home in Bedford Square. When he saw her inside, he asked if the baron had returned from the shop. The butler said he wasn’t expected back until dinner.
“Thank you. Could you bring tea to the drawing room for Miss Amherst? I’m sure she would appreciate the warmth of tea.” He handed his greatcoat and top hat to the older man then waited while Victoria gave him her pelisse and bonnet.
“Of course, Your Lordship.”
Once the butler departed, he then escorted Victoria up to the drawing room.
“Why are you suddenly so protective? As of yet, nothing bad has occurred,” she asked with a fair amount of annoyance in her voice.
“I realize that, but—”
She huffed. “You feel guilty after what happened last night.”
“Perhaps.”
“Don’t be. I was a willing participant.” She wandered over to one of the windows, and when she shivered, she rubbed her hands up and down her arms. “Please don’t mar what it was with excuses or regrets.”
“Right.” Why did he suddenly feel like a green boy in university, home for school holidays and with the first woman he’d lain with? Since she’d sat next to him at the Serpentine, he’d been swamped with desire, but surely a parting kiss wouldn’t be amiss.
Once the tea tray was delivered, he thanked the footman then went as far as to close the doors. Not ready to leave her company, he removed his gloves. Oddly enough, his hands shook. What the devil is wrong with me?
Victoria turned. Her gaze went to the doors then to him as he stood not far behind her. “Do you want me to pour out?”
“Not just yet.” Apparently, he’d lost control of his common sense as well as his manners, and daring much despite the temptation, he tugged her into his arms and held her close. Dear God, she felt so good against him in ways that Sarah could never be.
“What are you doing?” A shuddering sigh she uttered transferred to him.
“Honestly, I don’t know.” His response was a whisper.
“Fair enough, because since meeting you, I’ve been at sixes and sevens as well.” Her breath warmed his chin and cheek.
And he was in danger of being lost. “Then perhaps neither of us should think overly much.” Because he could, he fit his lips to hers. Each kiss fed the growing desire inside him and turned his blood to fire until he had no idea what was real and what wasn’t any longer.
“Grey, we can’t continue to do this. You’ve said it yourself.”
Dear God, he knew , but he couldn’t stop himself. “Then call me a rake or a rogue or a nodcock, for I can’t stay away.”
As he walked her backward across the floor, he prevented further words with another kiss.
Once her back connected with the wall to the side of the window, he shoved her arms above her head, holding her wrists with one of his hands.
Obviously, he’d taken leave of his senses, but he didn’t care.
She represented something he could never have, something that dangled in front of him like a carrot to a donkey, and he wanted more.
Like a savage, he ravaged her mouth, kissing her over and over.
The feel of her soft body layered against his, the heat of her while he chased her tongue, the scent of lemons and vanilla urged him onward as he cupped the side of her neck with his free hand, drew the pad of his thumb along her jaw in an effort to tilt her head and deepen the embrace.
And it still wasn’t enough.
“Ooh…” Victoria sighed in apparent surrender, and when he finally released her wrists, she put her arms about his shoulders, kissed him back, mimicked what he did to her until his blood caught fire and passion consumed his thoughts.
“What are you doing to me?” he whispered against the shell of her ear.
“Perhaps the same thing you are doing to me… or else I’m going slowly insane,” she whispered back, and the heat of her words danced along his cheek.
“Life right now is confusing at best, and a tad unsavory, except with you.” And suddenly it didn’t matter, for in this moment, he knew exactly what he wanted. “Whatever it is between us, I haven’t the strength to fight it any longer.”
Come what may.
She stared at him with questions and longing in those blue-gray eyes, and she slowly nodded.
“I feel the same, and perhaps I’m selfish, for I know you don’t belong to me outside of this moment, but I want it all the same.
” Then she was in his arms once more, his lips on hers, his hands seemingly everywhere, and he was swept along on the tide of pure feeling.
Needing more contact, Grey gathered handfuls of her skirting, and she offered no protest when he removed each layer of her clothing in less time than it took to draw two deep breaths.
Passion fairly crackled between them; Victoria shoved his jacket from his person with a little cry of frustration.
That made him grin, but he couldn’t properly gaze upon her nakedness until he was as nude as she.
The remainder of his garments fell to the floor along with his boots, littering the room as he slowly moved them toward one of the low sofas in the room.
God strike me dead, but I intend to couple with this woman who isn’t mine at all.