Page 45

She shakes her head, but I see that small smile curl her lips up as she sets her things down on the counter. “Thank you for dinner. Tell Belle the food was really good.”

“There’s nothing to eat here, so we had limited options,” is my only reply.

I walk over to the couch and drop down, patting the spot beside me. “Do you still like 20/20 show? I’m pretty sure there are some on my DVR.”

She stares at me. “Who uses a DVR still?”

I eye her. “It’s part of my streaming plan. I can record shows. It’s how I watched Supernatural after you insisted on making me watch the first season.”

Granted, she never forced me to watch the other fourteen, but she’s nice enough not to point that out.

She joins me, not sitting too close or too far away.

I study the area between us before grabbing her leg and pulling her over effortlessly to close the distance.

I prop my arm on the back of the couch cushion behind her, then grab the remote with my free hand.

I can feel her eyes on me as I turn the television on and settle in, leaving my arm where it is without a second thought.

“Uh, Alex?”

I hum.

“Are you…trying to cuddle?” Her confusion is amusing to me as I find the new episode of the true crime show to put on.

“I’m getting comfortable,” I tell her. “But you can call it whatever you want.”

She’s quiet, her eyes still burning holes into the side of my face when I meet them. “What’s going to happen when I leave?”

The heavy question has my brows shooting up. “What do you mean?”

“When I go back to Lindon,” she elaborates slowly. “You’re staying here. You’ll heal and play hockey. I’ll be in classes. We’ll see each other at my brother’s games, probably, but from across the ice.”

I study her carefully. “Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out. Except you’re forgetting something.”

“What?”

I shrug casually, letting my arm drape over her shoulders. “We’ll have bye weeks. You’ll have school vacations. Maybe we’ll even share some weekends off together.”

“Weekends,” she repeats slowly, like she’s trying to soak that in. “To do what?”

I look back at the television screen. “Cuddle.”

I’m met with silence.

She doesn’t move my arm or move away. If anything, she allows herself to settle into my side. Eventually, her head meets my shoulder, and I hear the softest exhale escape her lips.

Halfway through the show, her palm rests on my jean-clad leg. “Alex?”

I hum.

“Do you really want to try this?” she asks, her voice full of hesitation. Or is that fear? I’ve never considered her to be scared of anything. It’s one of the many things I’ve secretly appreciated about her. “Whatever ‘this’ is?”

I turn her chin toward mine so she’ll look me in the eyes. “How long are we going to skate around this? We’ve been doing it for years, and it’s safe to say that we both want more than casual.”

Her eyes flash, and her cheeks turn pink. “We never talked about that night, you know. Not really.”

I know which night she’s referring to. I’ve found it hard to stop thinking about it when I’m alone with nothing to drown out my thoughts. “I wasn’t sure you’d want to.”

She wets her lips. “I told you that I loved you, and you told me it would never be that for you. It’s reasonable that I’d question things. That night stuck with me for a long time. I’ve let it go, but I haven’t forgotten.”

I’ve kicked myself countless times for saying that.

And for what? I could have told her the truth.

I could have let her decide if loving me was worth the mess that my life was made of.

But, at the time, I didn’t know if I was capable of the same love she’d offer me because I had too much else to focus on.

Would she stay if she knew I couldn’t promise her reciprocation?

I wouldn’t blame her if she walked away even if I admitted that I cared for her.

“I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I’m not an asshole for saying that to you,” I answer honestly. “It was a dick move to get you to let me go before things got more serious than they already were. That’s on me. Not you. It was never because of you.”

Her eyes dip down to her lap. “I’ve never told anybody other than my family and friends that I loved them. That meant something to me. What happens if we get to that point again and you decide you’re not there still?”

I don’t know what to say to convince her to give me a chance. The only thing I can offer her is the truth. “I’m not saying this is going to be easy. You’ll need to be patient with me. I’ve never let myself have anything that I’ve wanted before.”

She looks skeptical. “You have hockey. A stable career. Money. I’d say you have a lot.”

“I can get traded at any time,” I counter. “I could stay on the bench. Someone else can replace me in a second. My position in the NHL is expendable now more than ever. And if that goes away, so does the money.”

Olive is quiet, rubbing her lips together.

“Look,” I say with a sigh. “I’ve fucked up a lot when it comes to us. I know that. But you know the reason why I’ve held back. You’ve met my mother when nobody else has. You’ve heard the story. It’s different experiencing it, and you might decide her episodes are too much in the future. But…”

When the words get lodged in my throat, I have to force them down with a swallow to take a deep breath. I look away, closing my eyes and exhaling roughly until I feel a hand on my face.

Olive moves my face toward hers the same way I did only moments ago. “But what, Alex?”

Wetting my dry lips, I feel my throat bob under the harsh swallow of air I collect before the admission I’d harbored for a long ass time. “I need somebody to give me a chance that I can’t always give myself. I need…you.”

Her eyes widen as if she’s not expecting that. They soften, the orbs turning glassy as her thumb brushes my lower lip. “Weekends, then,” she says, smiling gently at me.

I put my hand on top of hers. “Weekends.”

We stare at one another for a moment before I dip down and press my mouth lightly against hers.

It’s supposed to be quick, chaste. Nothing that pressures her into something more.

But her hand moves away from my face and toward my shoulder, curling her fingers around my collarbone and returning the kiss with more heat.

A subtle moan opens her mouth up to me, urging me to get a taste.

But once my tongue enters her mouth, it’s like a fire consumes us.

Show forgotten, we get lost in each other’s domineering back-and-forth.

Suddenly, my shirt is being lifted, and discarded somewhere on the floor, followed quickly by hers.

I make quick work to unclasp her bra until that joins the clothes scattered on the ground.

The pads of my thumbs brush against the pebbled buds, making her shudder and drop her head back. “Alex,” she breathes.

I grin, knowing how sensitive her nipples are.

My mouth dips down and covers one while I play with the other, her chest arching forward as she releases a sharp breath.

I graze my teeth and tongue along each breast while pinching and caressing the other until another drawn-out moan escapes her.

Dick twitching at the sound, I repeat the movements until her breathing gets sharper.

Her hands lift to my head, her fingers threading in my hair and tugging me away. “I want more,” she says, her mint eyes locking with mine. “Please.”

I press another kiss against her head before my mouth dips down and travels south toward the hem of her leggings.

As I peel them down her legs, my mouth follows the path until my lips stop at just above her covered center.

“Alex,” she chokes, putting her hands on my shoulders. “I need you.”

I press a kiss against her panties and smile against her. “I’m getting there, baby. But I need you first, and it’s been too goddamn long since I’ve done this.”

I show her exactly what I mean once her panties are peeled away too, and my mouth is covering her. And despite her fingers returning to my hair, she doesn’t try pushing me away. If anything, her legs spread wider as she gets closer to the brink, letting me have any part of her I want.

And damn do I fucking want her.

Her legs start closing around my head, her thighs shaking as I build her closer to the edge she wants to dive off of with each flick of my tongue. And I bring her there, listening to the sound she makes when she reaches her climax.

Lifting my head after her body is sated against the couch, I grin up at her. Her eyelids flutter as she looks down at me still perched between her legs, and I swear I can hear her heartbeat.

Sitting up, I help her reposition and redress.

“What about you?” she asks, when she realizes I’m not going to push for more.

I lift a shoulder. “We have all night. And I want to know if this chick really killed her husband and buried him under the fire pit or if she hired someone else to do it.”

She blinks at me in disbelief.

I lift my arm and gesture for her to curl into me. It takes her a minute, but she does, seemingly stunned.

“Not everything about us has to be sex,” I tell her when I sense the confusion, the doubt. “I’m going to prove that to you.”

Slowly, she blinks. “Prove…?” Her voice fades as she shakes her head. “What are you doing, Alex?”

I sit back on the couch, tugging her closer to me. “I’m trying to be the person you deserve.”

For the longest time, I feel her eyes plastered on me. “Hypothetically, what if I want you to be the person I deserve while also getting fucked?”

That doesn’t help my dick calm down. It twitches to life. “Well, I’d hate for you to be disappointed by making you wait. Hypothetically, of course.”

A humming noise has her settling into my side, her hand trailing over my thigh and dangerously close to the bulge under the denim.

She knows what she’s doing.

“If you want it,” I tell her, capturing her wrist in my hand. “You’ll have to beg me for it.”

“I don’t beg.”

“For me,” I murmur, “you will.”