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Olive

T he book in Berlin’s hand flies across the room, almost smacking Skylar in the face before she narrowly dodges it by an inch. “That’s bullshit! It can’t end like that! Tell me I’m missing a few pages. Did I get a misprint? Did one of you bitches tear out a second epilogue to bask in my misery?”

Berlin’s outrage makes Skylar and I laugh because we’ve both been there. “You didn’t,” I tell her sympathetically. “That’s really how it ends.”

Skylar nods along. “There isn’t a second epilogue.”

The purple-haired firecracker looks like she’s been shot. “And you let me read it? Oh, that’s evil. I could have used a warning.”

Skylar walks over and gives her a hug. “That would have spoiled it. You needed to experience the pain like the rest of us.”

Berlin sighs into Skylar’s boobs before peeling herself away. “Although I do appreciate a good boob hug, it won’t make me forget the pure agony I just experienced. I mean… really ?”

Is it bad I’m giggling? “But that’s how you know it’s a good book. When an author manages to sucker punch you in the feels, they did something right.”

“More like a sucker punch to the tit,” Berlin grumbles, poking her chest. “Speaking of tits. How are yours feeling, Hot Mama? They’re bigger than I remember.”

Skylar frowns and looks down at herself. “I told Danny that too. He thinks they’re smaller. I think they’re swollen. Bentley is getting teeth, and he bit my nipple.”

Berlin and I simultaneously flinch, and my nipples start to hurt out of pure sympathy. “That’s rough,” I tell my best friend.

She hums. “Enough about my boobs, though. We’re kid free for a night. I want to gossip about boys and books and literally anything that isn’t the color of baby vomit or the things that come out of Bentley’s butt.”

Berlin scrunches her nose. “Ew. Remind me to never have kids. I think one of my ovaries just shriveled and died.”

“Just one?” I question.

She shrugs. “The other is choosing to remain cautiously optimistic.”

Her theatrics make me laugh.

Skylar picks up the book and sets it on the corner of the coffee table that Berlin has covered in takeout containers. She sits down next to Berlin and nudges her leg with her knee. “What ever happened to that cute boy you were talking to? The lacrosse player?”

I turn to Berlin. “Lacrosse? I thought Jeremy played baseball.”

“Jeremy?” It’s Skylar’s turn to look confused at our friend. “I thought you were seeing Collyn with two-l’s-and-a-y.”

Now I’m not sure what’s going on. “Who is Collyn?”

“He’s a pitcher for the school’s team. And he was super clingy. Plus, who spells it C-O-L-L-Y-N? It annoyed me.”

Skylar and I share a look.

I offer a hesitant, “His parents? I mean, mine named me after food.”

Berlin waves it off. “Whatever. I’m not seeing either of them. But there’s a football player—”

I groan as Skylar perks up. “What is with you guys and football players?”

Berlin grins at me. “Is there a better sport we should be looking into?”

Skylar’s knowing eyes focus on me. “Is there?” she asks teasingly.

Sighing, I settle into the armchair across from them on the couch. “You both know I’m partial to hockey.”

“Partial,” Skylar snorts unattractively.

“Oooooh. Does that mean there’s a player here you have your eye on? I’ll totally be your wing woman.”

I’m quiet while I feel the mom in the room staring at me. She probably assumes I’ve told Berlin about Alex, but I haven’t. By the time we met, Alex was gone, and I was attempting to detox. I didn’t see the reason.

Berlin’s eyebrows arch up in wait. “Am I missing something? Is it that guy who shows up at Fishtail during your shifts? Badger?”

My head drops back as Skylar laughs. “I told you it was obvious he liked you!”

Berlin claps. “So I’m right?”

I shake my head, shutting that down before she gets any ideas. “No, it’s not Badger. There isn’t anybody here who I’ve got my eye on.”

She frowns. “Nobody?”

Skylar clears her throat.

I eye her, then internally groan again. “There was somebody. His name is Alex.”

“Alex!” Berlin all but shrieks excitedly. “Is it the same one who was calling you the other day when you were on the phone with Bodhi Hot-man.”

Her frustration that was targeted at Bodhi for not doing more to get the comments on his post shut down quickly went away when she saw his Instagram account.

Specifically, the latest shirtless photo he, or his team.

posted for some new underwear brand I’ve never heard of.

I’ll admit, I drooled on myself a little.

Just a little, though. Now, she refers to him as Hotman rather than Hoffman.

Classic Berlin.

Skylar’s eyes narrow at me. “Wait a second. He reached out to you? Since when? Why am I in the dark about this?”

Berlin waves her hand. “Uh, hello? I’ve clearly been in the dark for way longer. So spill the beans, Olive. What gives with this guy?”

God, if I only knew the answer to that. “I wish there was more to tell you, but there’s not. We spoke a few times since he graduated Lindon. I saw him once or twice in passing—”

“Where?” Berlin demands. “Details, woman! What does he do? Does he live local? And by ‘saw him’ does that mean you saw him naked or…?”

Skylar seems just as interested in that information. And maybe a little hurt I haven’t offered it sooner. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I frown. “I didn’t want you to be disappointed. You of all people saw what him leaving did to me.”

“It’s not him leaving that bothered me,” she corrects me softly. “It’s what he said to you. I may not be his biggest fan, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want updates. You care about him.”

Berlin looks even more lost. “Can one of you fill in the gaps? You and Alex dated, and he broke your heart? Is that the vibe I’m getting?”

Nibbling the inside of my cheek, I offer her a timid nod. “Basically. Although, dating may be a little more direct than what we were.”

Understanding has her nodding. “Got it. Fuck buddies. I definitely have a few of those in my back pocket. So what did he say to you before he left?”

I don’t want to relive that day. “It doesn’t matter now. We cleared the air when he called me earlier this summer. He needed some advice, and I gave it to him.”

Telling them about brunch would just contradict me and hurt Skylar more. But not telling them might hurt her ten times worse.

“What’s confusing?” Skylar asks.

How do I even put into words where my head is at when it’s at odds with my heart? “We had breakfast together when he was in town and some things were said. He acts like he’s genuinely sorry for how things ended.”

Berlin’s brows pinch. “Isn’t that a good thing? He doesn’t sound like a total dick.”

Wetting my bottom lip, I shake my head. “He isn’t. The problem is that it’s easier for me to hate him if I believe he is. Then he can’t hurt me.”

Both the girls look sympathetically at me.

I’ve been ignoring him so I can focus on school, and he hasn’t given up. If anything, I think it’s making him more determined. And I…like it? I don’t even know.

Skylar reaches out for me. “I know this has to be tough for you. I’m sorry, Olive.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I sort of did this to myself. And now I need to figure out how to handle it. Especially before the season officially starts.”

Berlin looks between Skylar and I. “The season? As in…hockey?” Something strikes her.

Probably the games we’d watch together since meeting.

Things would get heated. “Oh my God. He plays pro hockey.” I swear she gasps.

“You’re totally talking about Alexander O’Conner, aren’t you?

You dirty dog. I’m so proud of you. He’s hot! ”

Skylar gives her a look. “Not the point, Berlin.”

She reigns in it. “Right. My bad.”

I’m not surprised she knows who I’m talking about. I always used to have something to do whenever Alex was brought up by the announcers or had more than a few minutes of screen time.

I shrug. “It’s whatever. When I figure out how to deal with it, you two will be the first to know. In the meantime, let’s figure out what our next buddy read should be now that Berlin has caught up.”

The girl in question glares at us. “I swear to baby Jesus if you make me read another depressing ass book, I’m suing. I don’t know who, but I’ll do it.”

We all laugh, breaking the tension that was starting to grow in my shoulders. “Deal. We’ll let you be part of the decision process this time.”

“That’s all I ask.” She pauses. “And, for the record, I can tell that Alex means something to you. Go easy on him. Not for him, but for you.”

I can feel her and Skylar looking at me.

Shifting where I’m sitting, I tug a piece of lint off my shirt and stare at it. I don’t have the energy to make an excuse as to why I can’t do that.

Take your time about us.

I’m not going anywhere.

But I’ll be here when you’re ready.

I stared at those text messages all night, thinking of a hundred things to say before opting for nothing. Because words couldn’t do justice to what my heart is feeling.

Rubbing my lips together, I pick up my phone and aimlessly scroll. “We’ll see,” I tell my friends.

*

Sebastian’s name pops up on my screen halfway through my shift at Fishtail, earning me a sidelong look from Judy. “Take ten,” she tells me, serving a group of kids who came in half-hammered already. “But not a minute more. I’m already down one bartender from the stomach flu.”

I answer the phone as I head into the breakroom, taking a cup of fountain soda with me because the Coca-Cola kind is superior to the bottles. Unless it’s the glass bottles. I sell out the Dollar Store every time I see they have them stocked.

“Hey, big brother,” I greet. “Which would you rather; fountain Coke or the Coke you get in glass bottles?”

“Fountain,” he answers with no hesitation. “But it has to be the McDonald’s kind.”

I take a long sip of my drink. “Really?”

“Really. But that’s not why I’m calling.”