Page 37 of My Three Hometown Firefighters (Aspen Springs #2)
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Grayson
My fist pounds against the door. I step back, rubbing my hands together. Fuck. It’s cold. This dickhead better answer the door in the next thirty seconds.
Just as those seconds are about to pass, Tucker swings his apartment door open. “What are you doing here?” he asks, clearly confused.
To his credit, I’ve never been here before.
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“About what?”
“Can I please come in first? My balls are going to freeze off out here.”
He hesitates for a beat before swinging the door open further.
I half-expect his place to be a mess, but it’s surprisingly tidy. It’s a modest space with very few personal touches.
I take off my coat, laying it over one of the chairs at the table. I sit down on the opposite side of the couch from him.
“What’s up?” he asks.
I pull my beanie off, running my fingers through my hair. “What’s going on with you?”
“What do you mean? Nothing’s going on with me.”
I tilt my head to the side because I know he’s not that dense. “Why are you acting the way you have been with her?”
He stays motionless, staring at me.
“You are putting a Sahara-Desert-size barrier between the two of you.”
“I’m just doing what she asked. I’m still there for her anytime she needs anything, and I care about her.”
There lies the problem because he and I know this, but I don’t know how much Sienna believes it anymore.
“Are you being her friend, though?” I question.
He opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out.
“I don’t think you’re hiding whatever you’re feeling as well as you think you are. It’s hurting her. She’s terrified you’re going to leave without a word.”
“I would never do that,” he says. His voice is louder now.
I nod. “It doesn’t change how she feels.”
He buries his face in his hands.
“Are you scared of how much you care about her? Afraid of the commitment those types of feelings come with?” I ask.
His head snaps back up to look at me. “What are you talking about?”
“Is that why you’re keeping her at arm’s length, and you have with every woman I’ve ever seen you with?”
He leans back against the couch, looking up at the ceiling. “Maybe,” he groans.
I knew it.
“Why is commitment so scary for you?”
His head tilts toward me. “Are you my therapist now?” he asks, giving me a look that’s straight out of the petulant teen’s playbook.
One of my shoulders pops up in a shrug. “If that’s what’s needed,” I say casually.
“If I don’t commit to anyone, then I won’t get hurt when they leave. Everyone always leaves.” He’s back to staring at the ceiling again.
Now it’s time for those tidbits I’ve put together over the years. “I’ve only ever heard you talk about your mom and not your dad.”
“Because she’s the only one that matters,” he growls quietly.
“Did your dad leave when you were a kid?” I ask.
He takes a deep breath. “Yeah, I was six.”
“I was five.”
He tilts his head back in my direction. I’m pretty sure he knew this already. Living in a small town doesn’t leave much up to the imagination.
I decide to tell him something very few people in my life actually know.
“I woke up one day, and he was just gone. No goodbye. No phone calls. Nothing. He just wasn’t in our lives anymore.
Hadley wasn’t old enough to remember my dad, but I was.
I thought for a long time that I must have done something wrong. ”
He nods, like he understands every word I’m saying.
“Thank goodness my mom is who she is, because with her help and a child therapist, I processed those feelings. They don’t consume me anymore.”
We’re both quiet for a beat while I fiddle with the hat in my lap.
“Are you falling for her?” I ask him. I would ask if he’s in love with her, but I don’t know where his heart or head is right now.
His eyes fall shut. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. “Yes.”
“You’re enough for her or anyone who deserves to be in your life. If they bail, that’s on them, not you. Don’t carry the weight of that on your shoulders.”
“She doesn’t want to be with me or any of us, anyway, so why does it matter?” he says, sounding defeated.
He might have a point there.
“I’m not going to lie. I’m not thrilled about the current situation. Respecting her decision is a daily struggle at this point, but that was her choice. All I can do is be here for her in the best way I can and show her how I feel, even if it isn’t the way I would like to.”
“You’re all the way in love with her. Aren’t you?” he asks.
What good would lying do?
“Yeah. I am.” Now I’m the one that sounds defeated.
“Warren is, too. Right?”
We haven’t talked about it explicitly, but I’ve caught his eye enough times to see the same heartbreak written across his face that’s obviously on mine.
Tuckers starts laughing. “Just when I thought this situation couldn’t get any messier. We’re a bad joke waiting to happen. A feisty, pregnant redhead with three bumbling idiots who are in love with her but can’t have her.”
I caught his slip-up, but I don’t draw attention to it. I don’t know if this talk will help in the long run, but at least now I know all three of us are on the same page as far as Sienna is concerned.