Page 74 of My Big Fat Vampire Wedding

“Is she sharpening her teeth?”

Pandora’s stomach dropped as she whirled around to find, sure enough, Aunt Henrietta filing one of her fangs.

“What? No! Silly,” she said, forcibly pulling him forward as he tried to keep looking. “It’s, uh, a new form of flossing,” she said, proud of her quick thinking. “From … France. It’s all the rage,” she added, really trying to sell it. “My family is all really into dental hygiene.”

Maybe he would have questioned her further.

But Elizabeth chose that moment to crash down onto his shoulder, a flurry of white feathers and heavy breathing.

“Oh, hello,” Victor said as the cockatoo turned to look at him before letting out a shriek that could nearly burst an eardrum.

“Elizabeth!” Pandora scolded the bird.

“Better you than me,” Vlad murmured from his hiding place behind a vase in the dining room.

“What was that?” Victor asked, looking around.

“I didn’t hear anything,” Pandora said, lying through her teeth, reaching up toward the cockatoo. “Step up. Elizabeth, step up,” she said in a firm voice.

Elizabeth didn’t want to, however, and decided to take a nasty bite of Pandora’s hand instead.

“Told you that thing was a nuisance!” Aunt Henrietta said, her dogs yapping in agreement, excited by all the hubbub.

The evening was getting away from Pandora, fast.

She needed to rein it in a little.

“Look, Elizabeth,” she said, pointing toward Vlad’s hiding place. Elizabeth zeroed in, then took flight just a second after Vlad did, trying to get away before she got to him.

Pandora felt bad sacrificing him. But she would give him some scratches later. And some extra treats. He’d forgive her. If he’d got over the one time when, as a young little vampire, she’d plucked one of his tail feathers because she simply didn’t know any better and wanted to have one to play with, then he could forgive her for using him as a distraction for the troublesome cockatoo.

“My, your family has quite the pet collection,” Mary said as they moved into the sitting room.

“Some more well-mannered than others,” Ravenna said, glancing down as one of Henrietta’s dogs started using her skirts as a tug toy. “Anyway, no matter. Don’t they make such a lovely couple?” She smiled at Pandora and Victor, standing close, hands clasped.

“They do.” Mary agreed and looked between Pandoraand Ophelia. “You can see where you get your looks from.” Then, she looked a little closer at Ophelia, close enough to make Pandora squirm.

Because, well, when two women who were supposed to be the same age were standing so close, it was impossible not to see the differences between them.

Whereas Mary’s cheeks had thinned a bit with age and there were fine lines around her eyes, mouth, and forehead, Ophelia, by contrast, had flawless, ageless skin.

“Your skin is remarkably smooth,” Mary said, leaning in a little closer, like she was trying to find a wrinkle. But there were none to be found.

“Oh, yeah,” Pandora said, panicking. “It’s, you know, a tea. An old family recipe.”

“I would love that recipe,” Mary said.

Well, Pandora had walked right into that one, hadn’t she? She was just going to have to throw something harmless together and pass it off as their family’s old youth elixir.

“Of course,” Ophelia said with an easy smile, recovering more quickly than her daughter.

“Oh, and who is this?” Mary asked, looking past Pandora toward where Lucy and Elias were entering the room.

“Oh, this is my best friend – and chief bridesmaid – Lucy,” Pandora said. That part was easy. Explaining Elias, who was neither family nor a friend, was less so. So she just blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “And her boyfriend, Elias.”

The look of shock and betrayal on Lucy’s face made Pandora immediately remorseful, as Elias effortlessly played into the lie, wrapping an arm around Lucy’s shoulders and hauling her against his body.

“Yeah, can’t get enough of this one. Isn’t that right, pup?” he asked, making Lucy’s eyes flash yellow for the quickest of seconds. Too fast, Pandora was sure, for anyone except the vampires gathered around to notice.