Page 39 of My Big Fat Vampire Wedding

“Yeah. That’s how some of the male vampires are trying to seduce the humans.

” Lucy waved toward where one of the servers was leading a dazed-looking human toward a red-headed female vampire sitting at a table alone.

The server gestured toward a man who raised his glass of blood at her before the woman stood, grabbed the human, and led him toward one of the private rooms.

“OK. So … you are just buying me a bunch of feedings tonight to celebrate.”

“Precisely.”

Plan in place, Lucy and Pandora joined Kora and Maribelle on the dance floor, all of them getting lost in the music and the ability to be in public, but also unafraid of moving too fast, of acting too … inhuman.

Eventually, though, Lucy linked an arm through a human donor’s and led him over to Pandora. Then the three of them made their way toward the feeding rooms. Where they simply handed off the human to another vampire, then rushed out the back door.

The alley smelled rancid, making both women wrinkle their noses as they inched toward the door to the pub.

The inside was in direct contrast to the club.

The lights were a warm white, the floors a light hardwood, the walls an understated cream, but covered in kitschy, mismatched decor. From signed football and rugby photographs to film posters and maps of old London.

It was a rowdy crowd. Loud and brash. A group of young uni guys were in a back corner singing a rugby anthem, their arms swinging with the beat, making their pints slosh over onto their hands, shoes, and the floor.

Another duo were arguing about something on the TV.

A group of women were laughing at something one woman was showing the others on her phone.

And then, of course, there was her family.

Pandora had no idea if she had Elias or Uncle Leopold and Cody to thank for the fact that none of her family was wearing something out of ancient Greece or some nineties goth club.

“Victor seems happy,” Lucy said as the two women watched a man who must have been Sebastian lean in toward Victor and say something that had him throwing his head back and laughing.

As if hearing Lucy speak, Elias turned, honing in on them, then disentangling himself from the crowd and walking their way.

He kept moving past them, though, and out the back door.

“How’s it going?” Pandora asked when she reached him.

“Have you managed to keep Victor from overhearing something he shouldn’t?” Lucy asked.

“Your faith in me is truly heartwarming, pup.”

Lucy rolled her eyes at that, but she didn’t snap back at him for once.

“Everything is going as planned. Luckily, only Cody, Leopold, and Jasper know about the vampire club. And they’re helping me make sure no one finds out and tries to sneak over.”

“How’s Victor?” Pandora asked.

“Good. His mate, Sebastian, has helped loosen him up a bit. What?” he asked, frowning at Lucy and her faraway look.

“What?” she asked, snapping back. “Oh, nothing. I seem to slip into a fugue state whenever you’re speaking.” Her lips were twitching, though, like she was enjoying teasing Elias, rather than actually snapping at him.

Pandora snorted.

“Why don’t you take the bride back to your own party, pup? Or do you not know how to have fun that doesn’t involve chasing squirrels?” Elias asked, eyes dancing.

“OK,” Pandora said. “Before this turns into an hour-long flirt-a-thon, we’re gonna go.”

“We are not flirting,” Lucy said, but Pandora noticed that she glanced back over her shoulder at Elias.

“No, of course not.”

They headed back into the party, where Pandora made her way to the bar.

“What can I get you?” the barman asked. “We’ve got A, B, AB, O. All positive and negative. Or,” he said, watching Pandora with his head tilted, “we have a few … vegetarian options, as it were.”

“What? Really?”

“Seems like times are changing,” he said, reaching for a glass, putting it under the tap, and pouring some thick O negative for someone waiting for a refill. “We have two animal blood-types, as well as synthetic.”

“Synthetic?”

“New to market. Supposed to taste like AB. I think it has a little bit of an aftertaste, but it provides all the -necessary nutrients. Without all the moral guilt.”

“OK. Well, I guess I’ll give that a try.”

To that, he reached for a bottle under the counter. “Don’t worry,” he said, popping the top, then pouring it into a glass. “No one will know but me. Happy engagement, by the way,” he added, passing her the glass before moving on to take more orders.

“Oh, ah, was this too much pressure?” Lucy asked when she found Pandora next, taking tentative sips of her fake blood.

“What? Oh, this? No. This is synthetic blood. Can you believe it? Someone finally made it.”

“So, it’s like a vampire nutrition shake?”

“I guess that’s a good way of putting it. I have to look into it when we get home.”

“How’s the taste? Is it like real blood?”

“I think it tastes kind of like watered-down blood. And there’s a bit of an aftertaste, but it has more of a kick than pig blood, energy-wise.”

“Well, that’s good news. Especially if it is shelf-stable. You could easily find somewhere to stash that at your new flat. Victor will never have to know.”

Pandora had been thinking the same thing as she sipped the fake blood. Between the synthetic blood and Dante’s sunscreen, there really was a chance for them to try to live normal, non-vampire lives.

While she didn’t believe that vampires as a whole were ready to forsake their old ways, give up feeding on humans, desire to come out of the shadows and live in society – to come “out of the coffin”, if you will – she loved that there were options for vampires like her brother and herself.

Ones who desired new opportunities to live among humans.

“I know you’re flying high on your third glass of that stuff,” Lucy said a while later as she joined her on the dance floor. “But I think it’s time we check on the boys again.”

The blood felt like it was vibrating in Pandora’s veins, making her feel more alive than she last remembered.

She’d spent so many years just barely surviving on occasional pig’s blood – since she didn’t want the butchers to get suspicious if she ordered too much – that she’d forgotten how good, how strong, how vital she could feel when she was properly fed.

This was the closest to being high she’d ever been.

She now understood why her aunts and cousins were all up in the VIP section laughing and buzzing with life.

“Right.” Pandora finished her glass and dropped it down on the bar before following Lucy out of the back door.

“I just don’t trust Eli … Oh!” Lucy yelped, tripping over something and toppling forward.

Pandora, powered with three glasses of sustenance, was faster than usual. Her hands shot out, grabbing her friend and hauling her back up to her feet.

“What did I trip … Oh,” Lucy said, eyes wide as she looked down.

“What’s the … Oh.”

All that fake blood seemed to turn to stone in her stomach and veins as she looked down to see what Lucy had tripped over.

No.

Not what.

Who.

“Oh, no. No, no, no.” Pandora gasped, her chest feeling tight as she looked down at the man lying on his stomach in the alley.

“Is he dead?” Lucy asked, eyes gaping as she looked down at the man in his light-blue jeans and green-and-white-checked jumper. “Oh, God. He’s not moving, is he? You don’t think …” She trailed off as her gaze slid to the bar right next door.

Pandora did think, actually.

It was their nature, after all.

And while the vampires in Nocturnum had open access to willing human donors, her male family members at the bar had no food source, only beer and spirits to drink that they couldn’t get drunk on or get sustenance from.

If one had been hungry and had perhaps seen someone going out the back for a smoke or some air, there was no reason for Pandora to assume they wouldn’t do what was in their nature to do. Bite. Feed.

Pandora didn’t see any bitemarks, but some vampires didn’t drink from the neck. She had a cousin who exclusively drank from the crook of the elbow, claiming it tasted better there. He could have a bite anywhere. And she really didn’t think they should waste time looking.

“What do we do?” Lucy asked, nudging the man’s body with the tip of her shoe, grimacing the whole time. “We can’t just leave the body here, right? What if Victor decides to come out here?”

She had a point.

If Victor decided to get some air, he would practic-ally trip over the body like Lucy had.

Then what? Call the police? And if the police came, they would question everyone in the bar.

Which included her family. Her very weird, very eccentric family who didn’t necessarily see anything wrong with killing someone.

“We need to move him.”

Lucy’s gaze scanned the end of the alley, where it opened to the road to allow the refuse collectors access.

“Do you think you’re strong enough to lift him into the bin?” Lucy asked, motioning toward the waste container.

He was a pretty big guy. Even with three synthetic blood drinks in her system, Pandora wasn’t sure she was that strong.

“I don’t think so.”

“Well, maybe we could just … prop him up on the other side of the bin. Just so he’s out of sight. We can even report it after everyone goes home.”

“Yeah. Yeah, let’s do that,” Pandora said. “You take the legs. I’ll get his upper body.”

With that, they moved around the body, leaning down and grabbing hold of the man.

“Whoa, that stuff really works, huh?” Lucy asked when Pandora accidentally lifted the man upward until he was practically kneeling on the pavement. “Maybe we can—”

“Pandy?”

Pandora and Lucy looked at each other, eyes round. Panic soared through Pandora’s system as she looked over to see Victor frozen half a step out of the pub, the door resting against his shoulder. “What’s going on? Is he OK?”

“He’s, uh, passed out,” Lucy scrambled to answer. “Completely pissed,” she went on. “Kind of the definition of ‘legless’, don’t you think?”

Pandora had never been so thankful for Lucy’s quick thinking as she was right then.

“Yeah. He never could handle his drink,” Pandora added.

“Who is that?” Victor asked.

“Oh, it’s, uh …” Pandora fumbled.

It was a complete stranger? Seemingly drunk dry by one of her family members? Because, oh, right, they’re all vampires. Surprise!

“It’s her cousin Douglas,” Lucy said.

“What is he doing out in the alley?”

“Probably stumbling around, not remembering where he was,” Lucy said.

“Where was he drinking?”

“In the pub with you, obviously.”

“I never saw—”

“What’s going on?” Dante appeared, clapping a hand on Victor’s shoulder as he started to push past him into the alley. “Oh.” Dante’s gaze took in the man’s lifeless body, Pandora’s arms around him, the look of panic on both women’s faces.

“We came across Cousin Douglas,” Pandora said.

“Right. Yeah. Doug. Guess he still can’t hold his liquor,” Dante said, shaking his head.

“Wait. Why are you here?” Victor asked, looking at Pandora.

“That’s on me,” Lucy said, turning to face the men, wedging her body in such a way to block their view. “See, we were playing a little game of truth or dare,” she said.

“Truth or dare?”

“Yeah. And, well, Ravenna is really sloshed on the -spirits. And she dared Pandora to come here and, well, shag you in the alley.”

“Lucy!”

“Seriously?” Victor asked, lips curving up.

Lucy nodded. “She’s a scandalous woman. Probably be around any minute to make sure Pandora made it here.

But when we got here, well, we saw Douglas passed out.

Decided we had to be responsible adults and get him home.

So … oh, lovely,” she grumbled as Elias moved out behind Dante and Victor as well.

“Doug had too much to drink,” Dante said before he could ask.

Elias’s gaze moved over the women, the body, and back again before nodding. “Told him to slow it down.”

“You saw him inside?” Victor asked, brows scrunching.

“Yeah. Been here a while,” Elias said.

“I don’t know how I missed him.”

“You were busy with Sebastian,” Dante said, shrugging.

“That’s why I came out. Sebastian just ordered shots,” Elias said. “He’s waiting for you.”

“Oh,” Victor said, looking conflicted. “Let me just help Pandy get Doug—”

“No, no,” Elias interrupted him. “You’re celebrating. Go have your shots. I’ll help the girls.”

“Great.” Lucy continued to grumble under her breath.

With that, Dante gently pushed Victor back into the bar.

Elias leaned back against the door, blocking anyone from coming out again.

“You’re seriously not going to help?” Lucy asked, narrowing her eyes at Elias.

“You want help with that? Sure, let me go grab my shovel and an alibi.”

“You’re literally a vampire. You deal with bodies all the time.”

“And yet I’ve never been reduced to this level of amateur hour.”

“You’re going to just stand there?”

“Someone needs to be the designated sarcastic observer. But if you really want them, my hands are all yours, pup,” Elias said, tone warm.

Pandora saw Lucy’s eyes heat, but she was quick to tamp it back down. “You put that cold, dead hand anywhere near me and I’ll bite it off. Come on,” Lucy said, turning her back on Elias to focus on Pandora. “Let’s get this done. Your family is going to be looking for you soon.”

“All right. On three. One, two—”

“ WhereamI? ”

Pandora and Lucy reeled back, shrieking, as the body slurred and shifted.

“He’s alive?” Lucy gasped, then spun on her heel at the sound of Elias’s laughter. “What are you laughing at?”

“How did you not know he was alive?” Elias asked.

“You knew?” Lucy asked. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“And miss this circus act?”

“Hey, um, you’re all right,” Pandora told the man as he thrashed around before going slack again. “OK. I think we need to get him in a cab.”

“Right. To where?”

“Oh. Right.”

Elias piped up. “I’m assuming he has a wallet.”

“Oh, now you’re helpful.” Lucy fished in the man’s pocket to find his license with his address. “Huh. His name is Derrick. We were close.”

She tucked the wallet back in his pocket, then each woman moved under one of his arms and lifted, half carrying and half dragging him toward the mouth of the alley. Where Lucy flagged down a cab and both women shoved him in, gave an address, and tossed some money at the driver.

With that, they made their way back to the party.

Pandora felt like she was floating for the next several hours, unable to stop replaying the interaction with Victor over and over in her mind.

Because when Lucy fed him that lie about truth or dare, saying Pandora was showing up to shag him, she could have sworn there was something warm, something interested, in his gaze.

And this time, she wasn’t going to talk herself out of it, say it was just her imagination.

She knew what she’d seen.

His pupils had dilated and his eyes had warmed.

Maybe the ongoing attraction wasn’t as one-sided as she’d thought.

Though, even if that was the case, she had no idea what the heck to do with that information.