Page 44 of My Big Fat Vampire Wedding

“Y ou need to get up!” Lucy said, slamming the door to Pandora’s room.

The sound seemed to rattle through her bones.

But nothing, not even the interruption of her much-needed rest, could ruin Pandora’s mood.

She’d been in the garden with Victor until the sun was kissing the sky. Reluctantly, they’d pulled apart and made their way into the castle, heading toward their own separate rooms.

Pandora lay in bed for hours after, reliving the events of the night, the whispers and sighs, the love she’d felt for him leaching into her bones, into her very marrow, as they’d held each other in a tangle of limbs in the cool grass.

And today, today she was going to marry that same man.

She felt like she was floating.

“Wait a minute,” Lucy said, mouth falling open as she drew closer to Pandora’s bed.

“Is that … Is that beard burn on your neck?” she asked, making Pandora’s hand slap to her neck, which felt oddly hot and sensitive.

“It is! No way. I mean … I’m so happy for you and I need all of the details.

But your female family members are about to burst in here to primp and prod at you for hours.

So you might want to rush into the bathroom to try to cover up that redness. ”

Pandora threw off the covers and ran into the bathroom, checking her reflection in the mirror. And, sure enough, there was a path of irritated skin down her neck where Victor’s lips had been.

“How do I cover this?” she asked, looking at Lucy’s giddy reflection in the mirror.

“If we had time, some ice and an oatmeal compress. But we don’t, so …

What do we have here?” She grabbed Pandora’s toiletry bag and dug through.

“OK. This cream should soothe it.” She handed the tube to Pandora, who quickly rubbed it on the spot.

“This is Dante’s sunscreen, right?” Lucy waved the tube at Pandora.

“Yeah.”

“You said it has a white cast, right?”

“Yeah.”

“OK. This is as close to make-up as we are going to get since you don’t have any foundation.”

With that, Pandora slathered it on until it reduced most of the redness.

“They’re going to be with you as you get into your gown. Is there anywhere else we have to worry about?” Lucy asked.

If Pandora could blush, she would be crimson.

Still, Lucy must have caught a flicker of her embarrassment because she beamed at her friend.

“Oh, my God. I love that. And I want to hear all of the details. But the mob is always here. So … cover up your spots. I will stall,” she said, just as the click of heels sounded outside Pandora’s room.

Pandora rushed to do just that, brushed her teeth, and fished a few twigs and leaves out of her hair before washing it.

It was going to be a long day. She could have a full shower later.

When she made her way out of the bathroom a few minutes later, her room – which was enormous – was packed with women.

The noise of their conversations alone almost had her backing into the bathroom for a couple more minutes of peace.

Most of the chat seemed to be about her bed, with a couple of the women bouncing on the edge of it and sharing a look that made Pandora think they were starting to reconsider their own personal use of coffins.

But just when she was actually considering that, she was spotted.

And they all … swarmed at her. Hugs and cheek pecks came from every direction as she was twirled around and fussed over.

Pandora felt dizzy as her gaze slid helplessly to where Lucy was standing near the door with Vlad perched on one shoulder and Elizabeth the cockatoo on the other.

She noticed with a smile that Vlad had on a little birdie suit vest and Elizabeth had been dressed up with what looked like her own bridal gown vest.

“Here,” Ophelia said when the crowd dispersed to fuss over the bridesmaid dresses that had just been delivered by Pandora’s father. “We may not be able to get drunk, but traditions should be observed.” She held out a glass of lazily bubbling champagne.

“Plus the bubbles are fun,” Kora piped in.

Pandora reached for the champagne flute. “Thank you,” she said, rolling some of the tension out of her shoulders. Her family could be a real sensory overload when they all came at you at once.

“I remember my wedding day,” Ophelia said, running a hand down Pandora’s steadily drying hair that was likely already starting to frizz out. “I think all of this,” she said, gesturing toward all the women, “was more stressful than coming up with my own vows.”

Oh … oh, no.

She’d forgotten to write her vows.

She had brought a notebook with her, promising herself she would find a few private moments to work on something that would be convincing, but not make her want to cry in longing for the words to be true.

But then, well, Victor. In the garden. Something she wouldn’t trade for anything. She would just have to come up with her vows on the fly.

Something must have passed through Pandora then because Ophelia’s head tipped to the side. Then Pandora watched in horror as her mother’s gaze honed in on the spot on her neck that was covered, but not exactly invisible.

Her gaze flicked from her daughter toward the floor and Pandora realized with a sinking stomach that the dress she’d thrown off before bed was still there.

“There are grass stains on your dress,” Ophelia said, looking back at her daughter.

“Oh, right. Um, I …”

Her mum’s blood-red lips curved up at her daughter’s fumbling. “We are all adults here, darling. I remember one time, your father and I were taking a walk through a graveyard, and we—”

“Please. For all that is good in the world, do not finish that story.”

To that, Ophelia laughed. “Oh, but what joy it brings to a parent to torment their children with the accounts of their torrid lovemaking.”

“I don’t want to hear this,” Pandora said, putting down her glass to cover her ears.

Ophelia smiled wider and her eyes were suddenly softer than Pandora had seen them since before the whole conversation about the terms of her inheritance.

Suddenly, Pandora knew something had changed.

Her mother’s constant and obvious disapproval had melted away. Leaving Pandora to wonder if Ophelia had simply not approved because her succubus senses had picked up on some sort of disconnect between Pandora and Victor’s words and their energy together.

Now that things had progressed between them, Ophelia seemed happy for her daughter.

Pandora’s gaze slid past Ophelia to find Ambrosia watching them. Ophelia turned, following her gaze, then turning back to her daughter.

“She still does not approve of my marriage to your father,” Ophelia said, making Pandora’s brows shoot up.

“Really?”

“She never approved of her darling great-grandson marrying a succubus,” Ophelia said.

“And, no, the irony is not lost on me,” her mum continued.

“But my objections weren’t simply because of Victor being a human.

And all the ways that becomes complicated as your marriage stretches on.

I just … I didn’t feel the connection, darling.

How could I approve of that? But anyway, don’t worry about Ambrosia.

She will dis-appear tomorrow and you likely won’t see her for another fifty years. ”

That was a bit comforting, actually.

“What are we going to do about her eyebrows?” Aunt Anastacia interrupted them, bringing over several of the other aunts.

“What’s wrong with my eyebrows?” Pandora’s hand flew up to touch them, terrified they were going to try to pluck them within an inch of their lives.

She’d survived the thin-brow trend twice in her long life – in the thirties, then again in the nineties. She was not going to go through that again.

“We’re not giving the girl a makeover,” Kora said, making Pandora give her a grateful smile. “She doesn’t need one. We’re just here to … enhance everything.”

With that, they began all of the aforementioned “enhancing”.

“Good Lord,” Lucy said, finally moving in at Pandora’s side at the dressing table. “I never thought I would get a second alone with you.”

The only reason she did was because one of the uncles had knocked and announced there were some fresh blood bags downstairs.

“Be honest, do I look like a clown?” Pandora asked, refusing to look at her reflection again. She’d been looking at herself for so long that she didn’t even recognize herself anymore.

“It’s … a bit clownish,” Lucy said, jumping up and going over toward where she’d brought her own bag into the room to get herself ready for the ceremony.

“I don’t think it’s quite at the oversized shoes and tiny car stage, but let’s tone this down a little, shall we?

” She produced a package of make-up wipes.

“And while I do that, you’ll drink this. ”

Lucy held up a coveted bottle of synthetic blood.

Since learning about it, and telling Dante about it, she’d been having a surprisingly hard time keeping a decent stock of it around.

She wasn’t sure if the demand was high or if the supply was low.

But she was thankful for a bottle. If things got romantic after the ceremony and she was hungry, she was worried she might accidentally slip up and nip Victor in the heat of the moment.

“They only had A negative,” Lucy said.

“That’s fine. Anything is good,” Pandora said, uncapping it and taking a long swig, not sure how long she would have before her family came back. She wanted to finish it and get rid of the evidence before they did.

With that, Lucy rinsed the bottle as Pandora swished some mouthwash, before they got started on removing half of the make-up from Pandora’s face.