Page 114 of My Big Fat Vampire Wedding

It was supposed to be the happiest day of her life.

But it was going to take everything in her not to cry.

“Yeah. Luckily, we have our honeymoon,” she said, hearing her own voice getting thick as tears stung the back of her eyes.

“Two weeks of nothing to do but relax.” Victor sounded wistful too, excited about a break. Even though he was still working on the finishing touches of his thesis.

“Yeah.” She glanced around the table, finding her loved ones chatting, laughing, happy. All of them completely oblivious to her own turmoil.

She suddenly felt more alone than she had in nearly one hundred and twenty-five years.

“Can I steal your girl for a few minutes?” Lucy asked, showing up just when Pandora felt her eyes starting to glisten.

“Of course,” Victor said, standing, then pulling out Pandora’s chair for her.

She kept his jacket, not needing it, just wanting the closeness, as she followed Lucy out of the greenhouse.

“Needed to get you out of there before you grabbed the tablecloth to use as a handkerchief,” Lucy said as the night air bit at their exposed skin.

“Why did your speech have to be so perfect?” Pandora asked, sniffling as the first few tears slipped from her lashes to trail down her cheeks.

“Because it’s what I want for you. And I think it’s something you can still have.”

Pandora scoffed. “Right. In my fake marriage.”

“I’m still not convinced it’s as fake as you seem to think it is.”

“Luce, Victor has barely touched me lately.”

“What are you talking about? He’s constantly touching you. Arm around your chair. Toying with your hair.Taking your hand. Whispering into your ear. What was he supposed to do? Hoist you up on the table and spread you wide for dessert … in front of everyone? You two are never alone.”

She wasn’t wrong about that; now that Pandora wasn’t so wrapped up in her own misery, she could see things more objectively.

Most of the time, they weren’t even together. And when they were, it was at Luna Bean. Or at her family’s house. And, once, at his flat. Where his roommates were simply too close and too nosy to have anything happen.

Still, she couldn’t quite let herself hope things were different than they’d seemed for weeks. She wasn’t sure she could survive more hopes being cruelly dashed.

“Why are you so determined to believe he isn’t as into you as you’re into him?” Lucy asked.

“Because I don’t want the heartbreak of realizing he isn’t.”

“But what if he is?”

“I can’t live in a fantasy world. I am going to need to live with Victor for a year. Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be to let him know how I feel, only to get rejected, then have to keep seeing him every day?”

“Can you imagine how wonderful it would be to tell him how you feel, have him return those feelings, and then fall madly in love and live happily ever after?”

“I know why you’re saying this, but I need to be practical. And just get through the wedding. I can’t be getting my hopes up. At least not right now,” Pandora said.

“All right. I understand. I just want you to remember that just because you believe it, doesn’t mean that’s how it is. There is a chance he’s indifferent. But the chance thathe isn’t is just as high. You have no idea if you don’t ask or make a move. That’s all I’m saying. OK,” Lucy said, coming to a stop. “I am going to go back and get completely pissed on that expensive champagne.” She reached out to give Pandora’s wrist a squeeze before running back toward the greenhouse.

Pandora wasn’t quite ready yet, so she just kept walking endlessly around the grounds until she found herself at the back of the castle that served as the guest rooms for the entire family. Victor’s parents included, though they’d gone to bed early, so no one had to worry about babysitting them while the bridal party had a little get-together.

This garden wasn’t manicured, but instead allowed to grow wild with endless winding hedgerows that stretched high above Pandora’s head, creating little pockets of privacy where no one else would find you.

That was just what she needed.

A little privacy.