Page 58 of Mr. Green (Mr. #2)

Grant

I ’m pacing around the beach. If there was anything around to punch, I would have by now. The fight between Lana and I is fresh. All I keep seeing is the look on her face. The same look my mom gave my dad the night I saw my parents fight, back when I was in ninth grade.

“I can’t do this anymore, Stephen,” my mom says with tears in her eyes. She looks exhausted.

“What do you mean?” He scoffs. “You married me. That means you agreed to do things my way.”

“That’s not a marriage. You don’t consider my feelings at all. I can’t keep acting like we’re the perfect couple when all I want to do is run far away from you.”

“You want to run from me, Connie? And do what? You’d be nothing without me. You didn’t even finish college. What are you going to do? Wait tables?” He turns away from her.

“At least I’d be able to make my own choices and have my own expectations.”

“That’ll get old. You’ll come crawling back to me before the week is up.”

“How did you become like this? This person who always wants everything perfect no matter what? I married you when you were full of passion.”

“The old days are no longer. I’ve grown and it’s time everyone in this house does too.”

“That’s enough pressure you put on Grant, do you hear me? You’ve driven your high expectations so far you’re taking away all of his passion. I’m not letting you do it.”

“You don’t have a fucking say. I’m the provider in this relationship with the best goddamn lawyer. If you leave you’ll never see him again. Is that what you want?”

The similarities between my parents and how I treated Lana just now have hit me in the face. I’ve used that night as a daily reminder to never be like my dad. I fear that tonight, I may have forgotten.

My dad was always a hard-ass to everyone in his family.

I thought he was just a dick, but maybe it was just his way of showing his love.

It’s the first time I’ve been able to see where my father is coming from.

He was scared of losing everything precious to him.

So he shoved perfection down our throats, out of fear.

I’ve never met anyone I want to be with more than Lana. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted. Caring, funny, smart, passionate, curves that shouldn’t be legal. She’s had me since the day I saw her at the housewarming party.

I’m scared I just dislodged our whole relationship. All the time it took for her to open up to me and I threw it down the toilet.

I lost control. I can’t bring myself to let go of what I want from her, though. She shouldn’t want anything to do with that jackass.

If I get some space, maybe I can see she just needs closure. It doesn’t stop the nagging voice in the back of my head, she could choose him instead of me.