Page 32 of Mr. Green (Mr. #2)

“Don’t upset your mother with that kind of talk, Lana,” my dad pipes in. He always takes her side.

“Don’t ask questions if you don’t want answers.” I throw some attitude their way.

“I asked who your new beau was.” My mom points the spatula at me. “Not any of this weird business of you being single. That’s ridiculous.”

“Mom, have you seen the way I look?” I’m in glasses, leggings, and an oversized shirt with my hair in a messy bun. I’m surprised I have this many black shirts and pants at this point.

“You’re beautiful when you want to be, Lana. You’ve been hiding yourself since that stupid ex of yours. I never liked him.”

She loved him. She called him her son-in-law to be.

He was always polite around my parents and knew exactly what to say to accommodate their future hopes and dreams of us together.

Thinking about it is making me clench my hands together in fists.

It’s one thing to play me, but in a way he played my parents too.

“Josh, who are you dating?” I ask to get the attention off of me.

It works. Josh tells us about a girl he met. She sounds like a troublemaker to me, but what do I care. He’ll have a new flavor of the week soon enough. Unlike me, Josh doesn’t have the pressure to find a woman to marry right now. It’s always some “whenever you’re ready” bullshit.

Once they’ve asked, they drop the subject. At least I don’t have to worry about it anymore this trip. I can just hang out and be myself.

~

Dinner passes quickly with no more questions of who I’ll be procreating with, thank goodness. I head up to my room and call Grant. I feel a lot more myself after being here for a few hours. Even though my family drives me crazy, they somehow ground me.

Grant answers after the second ring. “Hi, Sunshine. Did you get back from your safari?”

“My...safari?” I furrow my brow.

“Yes. The one where you look out for a lion trying to pounce on you.”

“Are you on something?”

He responds with laughing. Lots of laughing. This guy is too freaking happy all the time.

“You’re cute. I’m the lion in this scenario, by the way.” He winks with a predatory smile. “Where are you? It doesn’t look like your place.”

Just at that moment, my brother barges in. “Lana? Are you talking to a guy?” He grabs my phone from me. Then he comes face to face with his old friend, Grant.

“Grant? Grant Green?” Josh stares at Grant with wide, angry eyes. “What the fuck are you talking to my sister for? I told you to stay away from her.”

He told Grant to stay away from me? Why?

“Listen Josh, I ran into her at a party and things took off from there. Actually, I think I still have some convincing to do. That last asshole she dated did a number. That’s who you should be mad at. I figured we’re all adults now.”

“What the fuck, Grant! I haven’t heard from you in years and now you’re trying to date my little sister. This is fucked up!”

“I didn’t want you to find out like this. I meant to talk to you sooner. I assure you, I’m in it for the long haul.”

“Sooner?” Josh’s eyes are so wide they may fall out of his head. He looks from me to Grant over and over looking for answers. “How long have you been seeing each other?”

“Not long enough,” Grant answers.

“Goddammit, Grant!”

My mom hears him shouting. “Joshua! Language!”

“My bad, Mom,” he shouts out the door. He closes said door while he mumbles some more curse words. Then he turns his face back to Grant. “Listen you bag of sweaty dicks,” he points at the phone, “stay the fuck away from my sister.”

“Excuse me Josh-u-a,” I but in. “I can make decisions for myself, thank you very much. This is none of your business!”

“The hell it’s not. You’re my sister and he was my friend who knows to stay away from dating anyone in my family!”

Grant, surprisingly, doesn’t back down. “I’m not staying away from Lana. She’s special and amazing. Unless she tells me to fuck off, I’m still going to take her on dates.”

“You better shut the fuck up before I hunt you down and pummel you into next Tuesday.” Josh points at him, like that’ll do a whole lot. “You knew to stay away from my sister .”

“First off, I’ve never seen you throw a punch. All you do is talk shit. Second, she’s an adult. We’re adults. Third, I’m not an asshole. We were friends; you know that.”

Josh is as red as a cherry, staring at Grant, and breathing hard with his nostrils flaring. I fear he’s going to take his anger out on my phone. Thankfully he just shouts a, “Fuck you!” at Grant. Then hangs up with force, tossing my phone on the bed .

“How long have you been seeing that fucktard?” He points down at the phone.

“None of your business,” I tell him, crossing my arms. “You need to relax. Find something blue to focus on.”

He scratches his head. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Blue is a calming color. It might help.”

“I’m not looking for something blue. I’m looking at you while you tell me what you’re doing with Grant.”

“I didn’t think you’d want that much information.”

“Please tell me I did not just hear that you are screwing Grant fucking Green.” He puts his hands over his ears, which is confusing.

He keeps asking questions about him. I stare at him with squinting eyes.

I don’t know who the hell this guy thinks he is, defining who I can date, but it’s not going to fly.

“You don’t have a say in who I’m seeing. I haven’t seen anyone in a long fucking time. You’re not ruining this for me!” I point at his chest as hard as I can. “I’ll make my own decisions because, here’s the important part, I’m a fucking grown-up!”

“Lana, he was my friend. I know about all the dirty things he’s probably been thinking. Not only that—he’s way too old for you!”

“You were just partying with a twenty-year-old last weekend! Five years is not too old for me. Besides, I thought Grant was one of your nicer friends in high school? He always had a girlfriend, he volunteered all the time, and he played golf for fuck’s sake.

It’s not like he’s a football player. He was different. ”

“Yeah, but still. You’re my baby sister and it’s weird my friend is dating you.”

“Isn’t it better to date someone you know instead of a stranger?”

My mom is not used to anyone cussing in her home. I’m sure she heard the commotion and wants to wash our mouths out with soap.

“What is going on in here?” she yells, barging in. “You know there’s no cursing in this house.”

“Talk to Josh about it.” I swish my hand in his direction.

“I’m talking to both of you about it. Joshua, maybe it’s time you leave. If you can’t get along with your sister for two minutes, you need to go.”

The best thing about being the youngest is I never get the blame for anything. I used to try to fight it all the time, but Josh actually deserves it tonight. He can’t tell me how to live my life.

“Mom, if you only knew.” He shakes his head.

If he tells my mom what’s going on right now, she’s going to lose her shit.

My parents may be all about family, but they’re not okay with casual sex.

Since Grant and I aren’t an official thing, she’s going to be mad if she finds out.

My dad will try to kill Grant. Don’t ask me why, old values or some shit.

I stare at my brother, challenging him. If he breaks sibling code and tells the parents, he’ll be dead to all of us.

He does the right thing and stomps down the stairs. The front door slams and then my mom turns to me. “What was that about?”

“Josh just had his panties in a twist about me talking to one of his old friends. He’ll get over it.”

“Talking? Does that mean you found a husband? You said you weren’t dating anyone!”

“That’s because we aren’t dating. We’re talking.” I hold up my phone and shake it a little. “If anything happens, I’ll bring him to meet you guys.”

“That’s my girl,” she says, and then kisses me with her lipstick laden lips on the forehead. “Your kids are going to be so cute!” She goes to walk out of my room and then turns back to me. “After you’re married of course.”

I sigh and plop on my bed. That’s the last thing I’m thinking about right now.

Grant and I aren’t serious. We’re having fun, lots and lots of fun.

We’re not getting involved in marriage and kids.

Grant may have told my brother he’s in it for the long haul, but guys always leave.

It’s just a matter of time until he finds someone better.

Anyone is hotter than me, so I doubt it’ll take long.

I’ll have to make nice with Josh once he cools down. Hopefully he’s not on the way to Grant’s house right now. I wouldn’t put it past to him to show up in Texas at Grant’s doorstop. Maybe I should go to Texas to see Grant.

Then I realize how desperate that’d look. Maybe not.