Page 27 of Midnight Sun
“Thought as much,” Finn teases good-naturedly. He disentangles himself from Jamie and kisses his brow before he calls Snjór to heel and leaves with the jingling of his keys and the rustling of his coat. Jamie already misses him as soon as he’s out of the door.
After some long moments, he shakes his head angrily. He hasn’t had such a pathetic crush on anyone since being a teenager. What the hell is happening to him? Jamie fumbles for his mobile and opens Bev’s contact. He looks down at her photo, wondering when his attraction to her had turned into a friendship that might or might not survive their break-up. But he owes her a clean cut.
Bev answers after the second ring.
“You’ve got nerves calling me now,” she screeches in lieu of a greeting. “Couldn’t you even be bothered to text me?”
“Bev, you know how it gets during filming–”
“Only that you aren’t filming yet!” Bev interrupts him. “Don’t bother sweet talking me. I know from a trustworthy source that you’re already seeing someone new.”
“What?” Jamie feels like the rug is being pulled out from under him. She can’t know about Finn; no one knows about them. Unless that stalking bastard contacted her, and that means things keep escalating.
“Don’t,” Bev says in a tearful voice. “I can’t believe I didn’t realize what a toxic person you are! You only care about yourself! You drain the life out of everyone around you!”
“I told you I want to break up! It’s not my fault you failed to listen,” Jamie shouts back, trying to cover the hurt with anger.
“I hate you!” cries Bev. “I feel sorry for the poor person you’re deceiving now! Do they think you’re interested in them, that you want to be in a relationship? You can’t be happy with anyone for long because you have only superficial charm, but are rotten to the core!”
“I’m hanging up now, Bev. You can call me again when you’ve calmed down.”
Bev sobs.
“When I calmed down? You can wait a long time for that! Do you think I’m still interested in talking to you after what you’ve–”
Jamie ends the call, hot tears falling down his face. He knows that Bev’s overreacting, that she’ll likely calm down and send him an apology in a few days. He knows that he’s to blame for her anger, too. His heart hasn’t been in it for months, but out of convenience he has stayed in their relationship, anyway. But whatever his mind wants to tell him about the situation, Bev’s words ring true in his soul. He is selfish, narcissistic, unlovable. He’ll never be able to make a relationship work, to find someone who is willing to put up with him once they look past his pretenses. Finn won’t bear with him for his money and fame; he’ll be gone as soon as he gets to know Jamie properly.
Jamie rubs at his face furiously. He’s not going to ruin things with Finn by piling his emotional baggage at his feet right now. But Jamie also knows that he won’t be able to get his temper back under control till Finn returns. Anger, guilt and self-loathing are battling for the upper hand, and he feels ready to lash out at anyone who looks at him the wrong way.
Jamie stumbles into Finn’s bedroom. It’s not good manners to open Finn’s closets and go through his things, but as Jamie suspected, he finds a large variety of neatly organized toys behind the first set of doors he opens. He looks over the assembled devices, zeroing in on the spanking utensils. Maybe he can get rid of his annoying emotions while making Finn happy at the same time.
He forgoes floggers and paddles and instead picks up a thumb-thick wooden cane. Jamie has never taken a spanking before, and even as a Dom he doesn’t like administering them much, preferring to command his subs to pleasure him instead. But when he delivers an experimental slap to his open palm, the stinging pain is just what he needs right now. Besides, he wants to show Finn that he’s not a wimp who can’t handle a little beating.
Jamie takes out a pair of leather cuffs held together by a short chain before closing the wardrobe again. He hurries into the bathroom for a quick shower before kneeling down next to Finn’s bed wearing nothing but the fitted black panties he keeps hidden in his bag. He loves the feeling of the lace, but didn’t dare to let anyone see him wearing them. But Finn might appreciate the sight.
Jamie clasps his hands in his lap and places the cane in front of him like an offering. Jamie’s trapped in a strange state between arousal and disgust with himself when Finn finally returns. He can’t bring himself to look up as the bedroom door creaks open, but he hears Finn take a surprised breath at the sight of him.
“Jamie.” Finn’s voice is unbearably soft.
Jamie nudges the cane towards Finn’s feet, still not daring to look at him.
“Please, sir,” he whispers.
Finn’s in front of him in two fast steps, his strong fingers curling around Jamie’s jaw.
“Please what,sæti? You’ll have to be more specific.”
Jamie swallows, his throat suddenly feeling rough like sandpaper. He thought that Finn would jump at the opportunity to give him a proper spanking, but he seems as irritated as he’s turned on.
“Please, use the cane on me, sir. You mustn’t be gentle. I can take it.”
Finn growls in response.
“Are you serious?”
“Yes.” Jamie forces his voice not to tremble.
“Tell me your safe word, then,” Finn demands.