Page 26 of Midnight Sun
Finn’s reluctance to let him go, makes a warm glow bloom in Jamie’s chest, and Finn’s nervousness about being rejected calms Jamie’s nerves.
“I’d love to,” Jamie confesses. It’s surprisingly easy to be honest with Finn. Jamie shudders. It dawns on him that pretending to be someone he’s not has become second nature in recent years. And now he doesn’t know who he is anymore.
Finn smiles at him, but sighs. “I–um–well, the BDSM community is pretty small here, as you can imagine. I use my apartment to shoot my sword fighting videos in the winter and for playing. I just want you to know that beforehand. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”
Jamie has to bite down a laugh at Finn’s rambling.
“So, your apartment is one big sex dungeon?”
“When you put it like that, it’s greatly exaggerated,” Finn grumbles, but Jamie can sense his relief at Jamie’s casual response.
“I appreciate you telling me.” Jamie has to look out the window and blinks against the sudden sting in his eyes. It’s a great relief to be treated like a real person with insecurities and needs, someone to be taken care of from time to time. He hadn’t even realized he was missing anything until Finn showed up and pushed all the buttons he didn’t even know he had. It’s liberating and scary at the same time. If Jamie is honest with himself, he is more than relieved that Finn has offered to take him home, sex dungeon or not. After what happened at the lodge, Jamie can’t imagine spending the night alone in a hotel room, let alone sleeping there for even a minute. On the other hand, he’s unsure if it’s wise to let his attraction to Finn dictate his actions. Wouldn’t it be better to get a grip on his feelings? He’s already in serious trouble. He longs to be close to Finn, to submit to him again. Damn, that kind of weakness, that kind of dependence, shouldn’t be an option. Jamie learned early on that relying on someone else isn’t a good idea.
Finn parks the car in front of a gym. The neighborhood looks friendly, with two- and three-story houses and some greenery. Jamie yawns.
“I can let you inside before I take Snjór for a quick walk if you want to rest,” Finn offers.
Jamie clutches the borrowed coat. It’s only twelve degrees outside and the fatigue is making him freeze. Still, he doesn’t want to be separated from Finn. It’s just this one night, he promises himself. Tomorrow he’ll return to the hotel.
“I’ll come with you,” Jamie mumbles and gets out of the car on slightly wobbly legs. He takes Finn’s hand, and they walk down the street. They pass a cemetery and soon reach the lake in the middle of town. It would’ve been a pleasant walk in the quiet of the night if Jamie hadn’t been so shaken by the day’s events.
Later, Finn leads him inside his apartment, which is situated on the first floor above a gym.
“My sister runs the gym. She and Gunnar lived in this flat the first few years, before they had the twins and moved a little outside of the city center. That’s when I moved in and turned the little guest area downstairs into a training room,” Finn explains.
Jamie plops down on the plush couch in the living room and lets his gaze wander over the interior. He must admit that Finn has taste. The room is furnished in Scandinavian style, cozy yet stylish. The natural materials and earthy tones aren’t what Jamie imagined of a sex dungeon, but then his gaze lingers on a bench made from a vintage pommel horse. Jamie’s throat goes dry as he spots the metal rings attached to each of the bench’s feet. They are hardly noticeable, but can only serve the purpose of fastening the shackles of a person stretched out over the bench. Despite his tiredness, Jamie feels arousal burn through his veins as he imagines himself, naked, blindfolded and chained to the bench, laid out for Finn to do with him as he pleases.
“Hildur won’t mind if we slip something to eat from her fridge downstairs,” Finn says, seemingly oblivious to Jamie’s half-hard cock and spiraling thoughts.
“I’m not hungry,” Jamie says. He just wants to curl up, preferably in Finn’s arms, and sleep for a day, and not be bothered by his suddenly running wild libido.
“You still have to eat a little.”
Finn’s already gone, and Jamie hasn’t got the energy left to argue with him. He hurries into the bathroom to change into his sleeping shirt and shorts, where he tries to forget about the bench and to stir his thoughts away from all the things they could do in the generous shower. When Finn returns with leftover pancakes and two mugs of hot cocoa, Jamie has at least gotten himself under control enough that he doesn’t have an awkward boner.
“You’re ridiculous,” Jamie mumbles, hands wrapped around his cup, already sipping the hot liquid. He didn’t realize how hungry he was until he tried the first bite of the pancake, but suddenly he feels ravenous. It certainly has its perks allowing Finn to take care of him a little, but he mustn’t get too dependent on it.
“Can we share the bed tonight or do you still think I will disrupt your beauty sleep?” Finn asks only half-jokingly. They shared a bed in Hrafna’s lodge after fooling around in the hot spring, but Jamie knows that if he would press the subject, Finn probably would allow him to sleep in his bed and camp out on his couch, just to take good care of him. Jamie feels warmed not only by the cocoa.
“I guess I can handle this inconvenience,” he says.
Jamie is glad that he’s exhausted, and that they switched the light off shortly after getting into Finn’s king-sized bed, so he can’t dwell too much on all the things they could do in here. Finn wraps his arms around him from behind, enveloping him in his warmth. Jamie can’t help but snuggle a little closer still. He’s asleep within seconds.
“Pass me the milk, would you?”
It’s Saturday and they’re lounging on Finn’s comfortable couch, sharing a late breakfast. Jamie can’t remember the last time he slept as well as he did in Finn’s arms. And now he feels as if he’s fallen into some kind of parallel universe overnight, where he’s just a regular guy who likes to sub for his hot boyfriend. The whole situation is cozy and so far removed from Jamie’s usual life that he feels a little off balance. But it feels right, and that in itself is a scary thought.
Finn pours the milk directly into Jamie’s coffee.
“There you go.”
Jamie tilts his head to get a better look at Finn’s profile from where he’s leaning against Finn’s solid frame. His hair falls loosely to his shoulders; Jamie wants to bury his hands in it. Finn looks down at him, his dark lashes a sharp contrast against his pale skin and the icy hue of his eyes. Jamie knows he’s got it bad when he’s waxing poetry in his head everytime he looks at Finn, but he can’t help himself.
“I need to take Snjór for a walk soon. Do you want to come, or do you want to stay here and relax a bit?”
Jamie would love to explore Reykjavík with Finn by his side. But this might be his only chance to call Bev during the next few days. Jamie’s plan to return to the hotel has already evaporated into thin air. He just can’t bring himself to stay away from Finn.
“I’ll stay here, if you don’t mind.”