Page 65 of Meet Me Under the Northern Lights

THE NEXT DAY

Reykjavik Airport

‘You have the cookies Hildur made you?’ Magnús asked Chloe.

‘Of course.’

‘And the scarf she knitted?’

Chloe parted her coat so he could see that it was around her neck.

It was terrible. There were dropped stitches and the colours were lime green and orange, but Chloe knew it had been made in double quick time for her as a parting gift.

A parting gift. She didn’t like that. She was going to make sure the parting was for as short a time as possible.

She had holiday she could take and, yes, Michelle was about to give birth but they had to be able to work things out if she was going to be a partner in the business…

‘Magnús, stop with all the questions, Chloe has a plane to catch.’

Gunnar, the voice of reason. The strong, solid, sexy man she had fallen for so quick and yet so intrinsically deeply. She looked at him now, taking him all in from his winter boots to the very tips of his beautiful hair.

‘Will you be back for my Christmas show?’ Magnús asked her.

She saw the look in his eyes, the hope, the preparation for disappointment, the swallow as he finished the sentence and got scared for her reply.

‘Magnús,’ she said gently. ‘I promised you that I would be there for your show. I don’t make promises unless I intend to keep them. OK?’

‘OK,’ Magnús said, nodding happily, a smile on his face.

‘OK, Magnús, here, take this króna and get coffee,’ Gunnar said, handing the boy some money.

Then Magnús threw himself at Chloe, wrapping his arms around her and hugging tight. The warmth there took her aback and tears were springing into her eyes before she could hold herself in check. It was the kind of hug she hadn’t ever expected to experience.

‘Bye!’ Magnús said, running off towards the vending machines.

And then there was two. Just her and Gunnar, the way this visit to Iceland had begun but oh, how everything had changed in such a short space of time.

‘I am sorry we do not have more time,’ Gunnar said.

‘In this moment?’ she asked.

‘In all the moments,’ he answered. ‘But specifically I meant the fact that we were fighting with Hildur so she stayed at home and soon you will have to board for the flight.’

‘I know,’ Chloe said. ‘But, I will be back for Magnús’s show. I have three days, right?’

‘Chloe,’ Gunnar said, shaking his head. ‘It is OK.’

‘What?’ Chloe said. ‘What do you mean? I’m coming back for Magnús’s Christmas show. You just heard me promise him.’

‘I know,’ Gunnar said. ‘And I know you will try your best to keep this promise, but you are going to be so busy. This is a big thing for you. The Sinclairz Chairs pitch, the partnership, a ba…’ He paused for a second then continued quickly.

‘And Kat, she will need you too if the stories about her mother are true.’

He had been going to say ‘baby’. She swallowed and reached for his hands.

‘And a baby is coming,’ she said firmly. ‘A beautiful baby is going to be born and Michelle is going to dress it in designer wear even though it’s going to be sick even more often than your coach passengers.’

He nodded, squeezing her hands. ‘Yes.’

‘But I am still going to be back for Magnús’s show,’ Chloe said with all the conviction she had. She meant it. A hundred per cent.

‘You need to go,’ Gunnar said. ‘It is OK, krúttio mitt .’

Except it didn’t feel OK. Gunnar might be holding her hands but it felt like he was also holding back, or rather, perhaps letting go… Perhaps there was another question she needed to ask.

‘Do you want me to come back for Magnús’s show?’

Her heart was beating in her throat now and Gunnar hadn’t immediately jumped to answer. Until:

‘I think,’ Gunnar began. ‘That you must do what you need to do for you, Chloe. Less concern about expectation, remember? And you have worked so hard for this opportunity.’

She was shaking her head before she even knew she was shaking her head. What was happening here?

‘I’ve worked hard,’ Chloe stated. ‘I will work hard to make sure we get the Sinclairz Chairs job but… I haven’t made up my mind about the partnership.

I told you that. I asked Michelle for some time to think about it.

I have to be certain that I am choosing to take it for all the right reasons, not just because it’s what I know and what has made me feel safe. ’

‘I know,’ Gunnar said.

‘But you’re sounding like you don’t know. Or that you… don’t care. Or that when I talked about coming back you… didn’t really believe me?’

He looked away from her for a second. It was long enough.

‘You didn’t believe me?’ Chloe repeated.

‘Chloe, it is not that.’

‘Then what is it?’

Her heart was beating hard in her chest and her emotions were that horrible, groggy mix of frustrated and sick with dread.

‘You must make your own choices, that is all,’ Gunnar said in the most matter-of-fact tone. ‘That is important.’

‘I will make my own choices,’ Chloe said, swallowing a lump in her throat.

‘I just…’ She let the sentence tail off because she didn’t know what to say.

This morning they had made love so tenderly, so beautifully that she had had tears in the corners of her eyes which he then kissed away. She didn’t understand.

‘Chloe—’

‘No, it’s OK,’ she said, internally bolstering now. ‘You’re right. I have to board the plane.’ She smiled. Fake.

‘Text me when you land? Let me know you have arrived safely.’

She nodded. ‘Yes.’

‘Good.’

‘OK, well, I guess I will go now.’ She took a step away from him but if felt like it was really a gigantic leap. ‘Bye, Gunnar.’

And then she turned away. She couldn’t look at him any more because leaving was harder than she ever thought it would be.

Because now it felt more awkward than ever.

It hadn’t been a holiday romance to her, one that ended in a weird conversation at an airport, not when she had been as honest with him as she had ever been with anyone, nor after he had introduced her to his family.

As she started to walk, wheeling her case, clutching her bag, the urge to turn around was so strong and all the while of not looking she was wanting him to be there, spinning her around and kissing her hard and telling her how much he wanted her to come back.

However, as the seconds ticked by, the journey to the gate had never felt so solitary.

Finally, she got to the end of the corridor, where she had to make a turn.

There was no denying she needed to see him one more time, commit his face to her memory bank.

But, turning her head, all she saw was an empty spot. Gunnar had already gone.