Page 46 of Meet Me Under the Northern Lights
REYKJAVIK DOMES
These dome constructions could be used as accommodation and Chloe couldn’t help but think how cosy and snug and traditional they were.
However, it probably wasn’t right for Sinclairz Chairs.
The group would want to be closer to the centre of the city, use the evenings to wine and dine after a day of adventure.
Still, coming together under the luxury canvas, with views of Mount Esja, was perfect to practice some stress-relieving breathing.
The group of ten – including Chloe and Kat – were on yoga mats on the floor, eyes to the see-through, sky-view ceiling, blankets over their midriffs, breathing in the scent of sandalwood, juniper and berries.
She wasn’t quite sure about the lying on the floor bit when it came to Sinclairz Chairs but, perhaps, a nice touch might be to have actual Sinclairz chairs here, harmonise the counteracting inner stress meditation with the therapeutic elements of the bestselling seats.
‘Are they going to say the instructions in English as well as Icelandic?’ Kat whispered from her position next to Chloe. ‘Because I know you’re fluent but I’m not.’
‘Very funny,’ Chloe replied.
‘Seriously though, I will need to be told when to exhale because if I’m concentrating too hard anything can happen, including asphyxiation.’
‘I will jab you with my elbow if you start to go blue,’ Chloe answered.
Music began to play – a combination of pan pipes and slight guttural moaning and Chloe didn’t need to look to know that Kat was side-eyeing her.
‘Sounds like someone who added themselves to “free tonight” on Tinder and got a lot more than they bargained for,’ Kat whispered.
‘Sshh,’ Chloe ordered. ‘Or we won’t hear the instructions in Icelandic or English.’
‘Did he say it boosts immunity?’
‘Yes.’
‘So if I do this I don’t have to eat disgusting green veg any more?’
‘I don’t think it works like that. It also improves sleep but you definitely don’t need that.’
‘Wow! Sore!’
‘It also accelerates the metabolism.’
‘Sign me up for the advanced course if I can eat more and not have to look up that Ozempic.’
Someone cleared their throat and after a quick glance to the front, Chloe saw it was their guided breathing tutor. They needed to stop talking and start focussing on the work.
Apparently, according to their instructor, the key to this was listening to your body’s natural rhythm.
It sounded so simple but the way you did it was super important.
It had the power to change your brain power and unlock a wealth of benefits just by doing properly what the body needed to do anyway to survive.
In.
Chloe inhaled and focussed.
Out.
There was supposed to be no pausing between the inhalation and the exhalation. As long as you inhaled fully then you could exhale straight afterwards.
In.
Out.
Clearing the mind and aligning your body’s natural actions with simple symmetry. Except not everybody’s body performed ‘natural’ actions. Like hers. Unable to produce enough eggs regularly. Unable to have a baby.
In.
Out.
She was supposed to be clearing her mind, emptying her thoughts and concentrating on this simple pattern of life.
Except she would never give someone life, never have a baby take its first breath while she looked at it with wonder and awe.
And suddenly she felt more hollow than she had ever felt before.
Like there was nothing inside her but useless empty space.
Before she could even think another thought she was scrambling up from the floor and running for the door of the dome.
Only when she was outside did she inhale all over again, the fresh, clean, freezing Icelandic air coating the insides of her lungs.
She looked out at the view – the mountain backdrop, the turf covered in snow all around, horses statuesque.
She hadn’t grieved for her loss. And some might say she had nothing to grieve.
No one had died. No one had exhaled their last. But no one had breathed their first either.
And no one would for her, not in the same way most women got, perhaps taking their fertility for granted.
She had hidden the feelings away, thought she had no right to be so distraught, no reason to cry for those babies who would never be.
But she had felt hurt, deep sorrow, real and truly painful, and it still ate away at her.
Now, as she heard the guided breathing continuing from inside the dome, Chloe let the tears fall.
Michelle would have a baby soon and, as delighted as she was for her boss, she knew that Michelle could never, ever really understand exactly how lucky she was.
And then there was Michael’s news. The man she thought she would be sharing parenthood with having a baby with someone else. It hurt. Hard.
‘Come here.’
It was Kat’s voice in her ear now and Chloe turned to face her friend, now standing alongside her and offering a look of comfort and as much comprehension as someone not in the situation could have.
Eyes bursting with all the tears she should have shed much longer ago, Chloe fell into her friend’s arms and wept.
‘Absolutely no more guided breathing for you today,’ Kat said, hugging her tight. ‘I’m going to guide you somewhere much better and it will involve cake.’