Page 38 of Meet Me Under the Northern Lights

Gunnar was working his way through a large bowl of nuts on the bar that didn’t really go with the strong, slightly bitter taste of his coffee.

Bitter. That was how he was feeling if he was honest. Seeing Kirstin again had thrown him.

And, for some reason, everything about her being here had made him angry.

Why was she back in Iceland? Why was she here in this moment?

Why was she the person that Chloe had to impress?

What was the universe trying to get across to him?

That Kirstin had moved on and her life was so much better without him in it?

That he still had some kind of feelings towards Kirstin or had unresolved resentment about how their relationship had ended?

That he wasn’t in the right place to consider moving on romantically?

Maybe it was some kind of amalgamation of all of those.

He took a sip of his coffee, swallowed a few more nuts.

He didn’t like how he was feeling because there was emotion involved and it was bouncing inside him begging for him to address it instead of his usual game of hide and not ever seek.

He glanced over at the table Chloe and Kirstin were sitting at.

They were hunched over Chloe’s laptop, looking at it, and then there would be talking from each one of them, hand gestures, note taking, now some laughter…

He hoped it was going well. And, if it was, that was no thanks to him.

A few minutes later Kirstin was getting to her feet, putting her bag on her shoulder and looking like she was bidding Chloe goodbye. Gunnar sat taller in his seat as Kirstin turned towards him then began making her way over.

‘So, Chloe and I have finished our meeting,’ Kirstin said once she had reached him.

‘It went well?’ he asked, palming some more nuts.

‘She is a nice person.’

‘I know she is a nice person,’ Gunnar said. ‘That is not what I asked.’

‘It’s business, Gunnar. Confidential.’

He nodded. ‘The same as it always was.’

Kirstin sighed. ‘You have not changed.’

‘Neither have you.’

‘Oh, I disagree. I think I have grown since I left this island and the closed community mindset.’

He nodded. ‘It must be nice to have that freedom. To leave whenever you feel like it, see new places, meet new people, think only of yourself.’

‘Gunnar, there is no point in us having this conversation. What happened, happened.’

‘What happened,’ Gunnar stated, ‘is that I told you I was responsible for a child and you told me it was over.’

He hadn’t meant the words to come out so hard or so loud and he flicked a surreptitious glance over to Chloe who seemed to still be looking at her computer.

Kirstin sighed. ‘Gunnar, if you think it was just about that then you’re wrong. You knew I wanted to travel, explore my career options and?—’

‘And there was no reason that you couldn’t do that and for us to still carry on. People who care about each other can make anything work if they really want to.’

‘If they have the same goals,’ Kirstin stated.

‘Or have independent goals and want to work towards joint goals also.’

‘Sometimes things are just too hard, Gunnar. When people haven’t planned for them. When they are dropped on someone unexpectedly.’

He shook his head. ‘His name is Magnús, Kirstin. The “thing” that was dropped on you unexpectedly, the “thing” that got too hard. He’s just a boy and he needed my help.’

And Gunnar felt as passionately about this now as he always had. Magnús had lost everything in one distressing night and he wasn’t about to turn his back on him.

‘The trouble is, Gunnar, Magnús was not the issue for me. The issue was you and the fact you did not tell me at the very beginning. That you didn’t trust me to know about him.’

He shook his head. ‘And look what happened. I was correct.’

‘This is pointless,’ Kirstin said. ‘And it is time for me to go. Take care, Gunnar.’ She turned away and then she turned back, facing him again. ‘Just, maybe, if things are romantic with Chloe, do not make the same choices again.’

She didn’t give him the opportunity to make any reply but headed towards the exit.

Gunnar took another handful of nuts and crunched them hard as what Kirstin had said filtered through his mind.

She was surely just telling him that because she felt guilty.

Except he knew not being honest about Magnús from the start hadn’t been right.

He looked to Chloe, packing up her things at the table.

He hadn’t been honest with her either. He had told her Magnús belonged to a friend…

Chloe looked over to him and gave a small wave. He owed her many truths. Perhaps he owed it to himself too. He waved back.