Page 31 of Meet Me at the Metro (Gildenhill #1)

31

FAMILY DINNER

T H E O

T he couch at Harvey and Evie’s flat feels abnormally uncomfortable tonight. I shift back and forth from cushion to cushion, having a terrible time stilling my restless limbs and distracting my anxious thoughts.

Because no matter how desperately my body and mind seek a slither of comfort, the reminder of our dinner plans for tonight brings the weight of the last decade crashing back down on me.

Suffocating me.

I yank the v-necked collar of my black sweater away from my chest and try to rid my body of its wooly constriction.

Sweaters are terrible, itchy things.

I focus on the scuff my polished, leather-clad boots make along the floor to keep from losing myself in the thought of how fucking badly I don’t want to go to this dinner tonight.

A hand against my shoulder startles me. Harvey chuckles, “You’d think I was a bloody ghost.”

I release a heavy sigh of relief. “I’m shitting bricks.”

Vacating the empty spot beside me, he stretches an arm around me and gives my shoulder a light-hearted shake. “Breathe, mate.”

The warmness in those two words is enough to lift some of the weight on my chest. I give myself permission to do as he so kindly commanded and feel the tension in my shoulders ease up a little.

“What are you feeling most anxious about? ”

I glance around the apartment looming behind us, ensuring no additional listening ears exist. “Everything— everything about it. ”

“You worried about seeing your stepbrother again?”

I nod.

Of course, I’m fucking worried about it, and that mostly chalks down to the uncertainty that comes with being around him again. I don’t know how my mind and body will choose to react to it.

I shudder at the thought. “I don’t want to do it, Harv.”

“Do you not want to see him or not want to deal with what comes with seeing him?”

My breathing catches at that.

Fuck .

I glance down to the floor, shame eating me from the inside out.

“You can acknowledge that and not feel guilty about it, Theo. You two went through a lot with everything that happened… the unimaginable . You have permission to have your reservations about tonight—about seeing him.”

I can’t even fucking speak. Harvey always has this way of making me face all of the truths I fight so hard to avoid. It’s a power someone else has slowly begun to possess, too.

“I think it could go better than what you’re letting yourself imagine,” he tells me.

“What if it triggers another episode?”

Evie and Nora’s laughter bubbles down the hallway from the back of the flat, causing our heads to turn.

The sound instantly makes me aware of all the reasons I’m so worried about that happening.

I quietly confess, “I don’t want her to see that. She’s seen some of my lows, but not the worst. It could scare her— push her away .”

“Theo, that girl isn’t going anywhere. No matter how much you try convincing yourself that she will. She’s crazy about you.”

I’m fucking crazy about her, too. To consider how tightly she’s got me wrapped around her finger makes the corner of my lips twitch with a smile.

“See . She’s good for you, Theo. Really good. Don’t self-sabotage what you two have.”

Deep down, I know that he’s right. Nora is good for me— so fucking good . I just have to stop convincing myself that she will bail when she sees the full picture.

As if on perfect cue, a door creaks open in the distance and puts an end to any argument I could have made back to Harvey’s last notion.

Footsteps echo down the hall, and I hear Evie say, “ He’s not going to know what the hell to do with himself when he sees you .”

Oh, fuck me.

I’m not prepared for just how right Evie’s assumptions are proven to be when Nora steps into the living room.

My breath hitches as she steps toward us. A dark, maroon dress clings to her body so sweetly, cinched at the midsection of her torso, while the bottom skirt flows freely along her thighs. My eyes skim over the sheer, flowy sleeves covering her arms, imagining all her soft, pale skin hiding underneath. There’s a satisfying, deep v-line dip right along the middle of her chest, and I try not to let my gaze linger on it too long.

Being a gentleman and all…

However, I feel my heart— and dick —skip a beat as her black and sheer stocking-clad legs move through the room.

There’s a sparkle in her pretty blue eyes tonight, highlighted by the light, shimmery eyeshadow coating her eyelids. A merlot-colored gloss shines against her lips, and I can’t help but consider what they’d feel like against mine right now.

She looks so fucking sweet as she tucks a winding strand of her honey-brown hair behind her ear, timidly biting her bottom lip. “Do you think this looks okay? Is it too much?”

I stand from where I’m sitting and stride toward her. “It’s just enough, Nora. You look fucking incredible.”

My hands are on her waist the second she’s within arm’s reach. I draw her closer to get a better look at her heavenly features.

And dammit, if I don’t get winded doing so.

“God , you’re so beautiful.”

Nora smiles brightly, her cheeks growing rosier as she traces a delicate finger against the collar of my sweater. “I really like this.”

“It’s a good thing one of us do.”

“Such a handsome, grumpy thing,” she croons.

Evie feigns a gag behind us. “God, I hate you two.”

I flip her off.

“Oh, let them be!” Harvey smiles at us. “You both look amazing.”

“We better get going,” Nora suggests, smiling as her gaze rakes me over. “Might be rude of us to turn up late.”

“So polite, you are,” I tease, trying to mask how terrible my gut is wrenching.

“Best behavior, Teddy. Remember?”

“I remember.”

I place my hand against the small of her back, focusing on where our two bodies meet as I steer us toward the door.

I’m so fucking thankful to have her by my side tonight.

Such a graceful, sweet distraction.

“Have fun , you guys,” Evie sarcastically sings behind us.

I flip her another bird and will my legs to continue moving.

“Be careful, you two.”I look back to Harvey one last time. “Breathe ,” he subtly mouths before we head out into the cool, damp night.

I don’t allow myself to consider the true weight of tonight until we’re steps away from the front door of the house I spent the majority of my teenage years in.

The palms of my hands grow clammy as we close in the distance between us and the terraced building.

I’m a nervous-arse mess.

Nora steers us to a secluded piece of pavement outside the house, free of moon or lamplight, and graces me with a moment of peace. I lean back against the cool brick behind me as her hand grazes my face, conjuring my eyes to look at her.

“We’ve got a few minutes,” she whispers with a soft smile.

I reach up and hold her hand, closing my eyes as I relish in her touch’s warmth— familiarity .

“I’m glad you came,” I confess.

I’m too ashamed to tell her the rest of that confession—that I probably wouldn’t have even made it a single step onto this street without her.

“Of course,” she nods.

I dare a glance back to the familiar two-story home looming beside us. I pick apart all its new details, from the dark gray double-door entryway to the bronze railing lining the steps in front of it. The changes seem a little over-ambitious for the relatively small property—out of place compared to the aged details of the connecting houses.

I see Kimberley’s had some renovations done.

Though even with its updated features, its burgundy and tawny brick foundation remains unchanged.

Years’ worth of memories race through my mind as I inspect the weathered masonry.

Memories of this house… Kimberley… My stepbrother…

My dad—the only part of all of this that doesn’t exist anymore.

My gut wrenches at the thought of him— that truth —and I have to force my eyes up to the overcast sky looming above us to keep from losing every shred of composure left in me. If I weren’t so overwhelmed with the blaze of emotions taking hold of every cell in my body right now, I’d probably laugh at how fitting the dark clouds are on this occasion.

“You’re okay, Theo. I’m right here with you. All night. You hear me?”

I nod in acknowledgment and try to slow my racing pulse.

The light beside the front door turns on, bringing us out of the dark shadows.

“Right here with you,” Nora says again, her thumb brushing against my cheekbone. “We can wait a little bit longer if you—”

“I’m ready,” I interrupt, lacing my fingers into hers as I push off the brick wall.

I want— need —to get this over with.

Nora twists her arm around mine and draws her body close as we approach the door. I relish in the warmth of her as my knuckles knock against its polished paint.

Too quickly, the door swings open.

Kim smiles as she greets us. “You two made it.”

My feet grow leaden, and I suddenly feel plastered to the doormat. Nora gently squeezes my arm, and I remind myself to breathe.

Kim eagerly motions us inside. “Please, come on in.”

As we step through the entryway, strong scents of orange and lavender fill my nostrils. Dark, hardwood panels cover the used-to-be carpeted floors, and the staircase and railing leading up to the house’s second story are more detailed and modernized than I remember them being. The floor plan is the only thing that seems to remain familiar in this home.

I don’t know if I find its unfamiliarity comforting or outright unsettling.

Kim doesn’t let me contemplate it for too long before she informs us, “Dinner’s ready.”

With carefully paced movements, she leads us to the dining room at the back end of the house. My eyes take in the freshly painted walls and new decor around the space and wonder if all the renovation in this place is her attempt to forget. Is she trying to erase every bit of reminder of the life we once had—mask the broken home that stands beneath the polished and clean interior?

“Your brother is going to be late, but we can go ahead and start without him. I’m sure you both are hungry. I know I am.”

Maybe I’ll get lucky, and he’ll miss the whole damn thing.

The white interior of the dining room is blinding underneath the fluorescent glow of the glass chandelier hanging at the center of the room. A six-chair dining table awaits us, its deep brown tabletop piled with various food selections and side dishes. I pull out one of the cushioned, ivory-cloth chairs for Nora and motion her to take a seat. An awkward silence falls upon the three of us as I sit in the chair beside her.

“Your home is beautiful, Kimberley,” Nora graciously speaks up beside me.

“Aww , thank you, Ellie. It’s taken a lot of work and money to get where it has, but it’s slowly coming together.” I opt to stay silent until Kim glances my way and asks, “Is it a lot different than what you remembered? ”

“Yeah.”

Nora’s fingers brush the back of my trembling hand underneath the table—a silent act of consolation—and I soften the tensed muscle in my jaw.

“Go ahead and help yourselves to some food.”

The clank of silverware against china plates fills the room as Nora and Kim start to prepare their plates. I will myself to move my stiff limbs and start gathering my own. My appetite is non-existent at this point, but I promised my girl I’d be on my best behavior, so I feign one and load some cooked beef and green beans onto the plate set out in front of me.

Kim takes her first bite and urges between chews, “Catch me up, Theo. How is senior year treating you?”

I see… Small talk first.

“It’s fine.”

“Just fine? What about your senior critique? How’s that going?”

“Fine.”

I see Nora tense up beside me out of the corner of my eye. She clears her throat awkwardly, and I can’t bear the thought of making tonight bad for her, so I push myself to say more—only for her sake.

“I’ve been spending most of my free time working on it. It’s coming together okay.”

“He’s being modest.” Nora looks at me with a glint of pride in her eyes. “It’s coming together amazingly. It sounds beautiful so far.”

“That’s great to hear. I remember how you used to spend hours in that room of yours, practicing. Remember how you’d put on mini concerts for us?”

Nora’s face lights up with pure, undiluted amusement. “Is that so?”

“ Mhmm . Theo would put on his suit and tie and everything.”

I groan with embarrassment, and Nora laughs beside me, melting away so much of my anxiety.

“If I knew I’d be picked on tonight, I would’ve stayed home.”

Maybe Harvey was right… perhaps it could be possible for tonight to go better than I anticipated.

“What have you chosen to perform? ”

I release a breath and answer, “Some of Dad’s music.”

I can’t bring myself to look at my stepmom, so I busy myself and pick at the food on my plate.

Kim’s voice is strained when she says, “I know it’ll be beautiful. His music always was.”

Was .

That word hits me right in the gut. All I can think about is how he’s no longer around to hear me play his music. He’ll never see the legacy he left behind. The grief of that truth latches its claws into me, and I fight to mask my abrupt uneasiness as Kim fires her next question.

“How about you, Ellie? Is London treating you well?”

“More than well. I’ve fallen in love with this city. I don’t think I’ll want to leave when August rolls around.”

Another hit to the gut.

I reach for the bottle of wine at the center of the table and pour a generous amount into my empty glass. I take a long, deep swig against it, which earns a cautious stare from Nora.

“And you said that new class is treating you well?”

Nora looks away from me and politely resumes the conversation. “It’s great. Professor Marlyn is amazing. I’ve learned so much from her class already.”

“Good. My son’s hoping to register for a class with her next semester.”

“Oh, really? Is he in the musical theatre program as well?”

“He is,” Kim nods with a relaxed smile. “He seems to really be enjoying it so far. He’ll be auditioning for the spring production coming up. Have you given any thought to trying out for a part?”

Nora bashfully looks down at her plate. “I think so. I just haven’t figured out what song and monologue I want to audition with.”

“You’ve got winter break to think about it.” My stepmum swirls around the dark red wine in her glass before taking a long drag against it.

I find myself doing the exact same.

“You going to rope Theo into getting involved in the production, too?”

I choke as I go to swallow the bitter-sweet liquid. “Fuck no. ”

Kimberley chuckles. “And why not? They’ll need a lead piano player for the orchestra. Plus, everyone knows the legacy your name holds on campus. You might just bring in a good crowd—”

“It’s not happening.”

Nora looks over at me, a pleading look in her blue eyes. “Oh, come on, it could be fun!”

“Sitting for hours playing bloody show tunes? Sounds like it.”

Nora giggles. “Don’t act like you don’t love them. Why don’t you tell Kim about that new little playlist on your phone?”

Heat rushes up my neck, a tad bit of embarrassment warming my cheeks. I send Nora a warning glare.

Kim plays right along with my girl’s mockery. “Oh, please enlighten me.”

I roll my eyes. “There’s no playlist.”

However, that’s a damn lie. I’ve curated an entire one full of Nora’s favorite musicals on my phone— and it is hours long . Not for me, of course, just for her to have something to listen to when she stays at my place. It gets her singing along, and I’m fucking crazy about that raspy but soft voice of hers.

It’s sung me to sleep a good handful of times.

My chest— the house —becomes lighter after our exchange of banter, and it’s all because of her. Nora brings a sense of comfort to every encounter she has. She has this peace about her that could swallow up an entire room.

She’s a light that could consume every person in its wake—a light that’s willing to embrace every bit of darkness inside of me.

The sound of the front door clicking open echoes ominously through the house, interrupting my short-lived, blissful thoughts. My throat goes dry, and I stiffen in my seat, hating how quickly my calm composure managed to flee from my grasp.

The steady thrum of footsteps fills the abrupt silence that has fallen over the three of us, and the tightness in my jaw returns.

Kim perks up in her seat. “That must be your brother.”

My rapid pulse becomes a painful pounding in my head as his steady stride grows louder— closer.

Nora’s hand laces in mine like a silent, gentle reminder— I’m right here with you.

My stepbrother’s silhouette fills the doorway. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

I hardly even recognize his voice.

Something about that twists like a dull knife in my chest.

I force my eyes down at the table as he enters the dining room, unable to find the will to look his way or acknowledge him.

Nora sucks in a shallow breath beside me.

“Ellie, meet my son, Connor,” Kim introduces. “Connor, this is Theo’s girlfriend, Ellie.”