Page 28 of Meet Me at the Metro (Gildenhill #1)

28

PANIC

E L L I E

E vie, Harvey, and I are bursting with laughter as we make our way out of Gullie’s for the night. My eyes barely keep up with Evie, who’s skipping back and forth in the moonlit alleyway.

“You’re going to bust your arse,” Harvey reprimands, cackling. “Quit skipping!”

“Never! I’ll die before I let a man tell me what to do!”

“I beg your pardon?” Harvey cocks a hip and stares at her, still adorned head to toe in his drag attire. He bats his heavily coated eyelashes, purses his rosy pink lips, and smooths his hands down his cinched waist and skin-tight skirt. “I am the furthest thing from a man right now, thank you very much.”

I lean over and whisper, “She’ll die before she lets anyone tell her what to do.”

“Yeah, because she’s a walking, talking rebellion,” he chuckles.

In comedic timing, our bright-haired friend falls right onto her ass, painfully groaning the second her bottom hits the concrete.

Despite her refusal to listen to him, Harvey walks over and helps her to her feet. “What did I say?”

The jangle of keys conjures my attention back to Theo, who’s closing up the bar for the night. I sneak up behind him as he locks the door, frightening him as I snake my arms around his waist .

He spins on his heel so abruptly that my giggling—slightly inebriated—ass is nearly knocked to the ground. He quickly grabs me tightly and keeps me from falling.

“When will you learn to quit sneaking up on me, huh?”

“I like keeping you on your toes!”

“You like scaring the shit out of me.” There’s a handsome smile scrawled across his face as he shakes his head . “Fucking hell.”

We join Evie and Harvey up ahead, and as soon as we turn out of the dim alley, my eyes are met with the blinding lights of the city. The passing taxis and cars cruising along the busy road create a chilly breeze that sends goosebumps trailing up my spine. I tuck my hands into the sleeves of my rib-knit sweater, trying to find some warmth, and silently reprimand myself for forgetting to bring a jacket tonight.

Theo’s shifting out of the corner of my eye, but it isn’t until I look over that I’m aware of what he’s doing.

Without saying a word, he starts to pull off his black hoodie. I savor up the slight peek-a-boo I get of his naturally toned abdomen until he’s left with only the short-sleeve t-shirt underneath.

His inked arms are bare now, and his pale skin is already coursing with goosebumps, but he doesn’t complain. Instead, he pulls me toward him and slides the hoodie over me, adjusting it so it’s pulled over my head.

“You’re gonna freeze,” I say, already feeling my limbs and chest warm . “Now I’ve got two layers, and you barely have one.”

“Shhh.” The hoodie practically swallows me whole, but he looks me over with a satisfied grin. “It’s a shame you don’t wear my clothes more often.”

I blush, completely smitten. “ Thank you. ”

Theo shifts me to his side so he’s closest to the road and wraps an arm around me, drawing me close as we continue walking home.

The distant booming of drums, the warm tone of a saxophone, and the strumming of a guitar draw all four of our attentions to a crowd gathered on the sidewalk up ahead. Beyond the assembly of bodies, a three-man street band performs. Their reggae-rock music reverberates along the avenue, filling the streets with an upbeat melody that could convince any person’s hips to sway. As we pass, we find ourselves stopping to appreciate their mesmerizing performance and enthralling sound.

“Dance with me!” Evie exclaims, pulling Harvey through the crowd.

The two find themselves lost in the music, twirling and swaying in perfect rhythm as if nobody else in the world besides them existed. They dance their hearts out, cutting expectant glances toward Theo and me upon every spin they make—challenging us to join.

I look up to Theo, who’s biting back a smile as he watches our friends dance.

He shakes his head in disapproval, but there’s a hint of admiration in his eyes—like he’d join right in if he just let himself.

Acting impulsively, I move my body to the music, crooking a finger for him to join me.

“Absolutely fucking not,” he chuckles, though he can’t seem to keep his eyes off of my swaying hips.

“Oh, come on!”

“You’re mental.”

“Please, Teddy,” I pout. I step backward toward my two friends, increasing the speed of my movements as the tempo and music begin to crescendo. “You owe me, you know?”

“Like hell I do!”

“You do!” I holler over the band. “Have you forgotten about ‘The Star Flyer’?”

“You’re not playing fair at all right now.”

I give him a saccharine smile. “I think I’m playing very fair. You owe me.”

“You fucking loved that ride, don’t even.”

“Are you implying you won’t love dancing with me, Teddy? That’s rude.”

He gives me a blank stare like he can’t believe I’m pulling this shit right now.

“Fine, then don’t dance with me,” I pout.

He’ll cave; I just know it .

“Dammit, Nora,” he sighs, snatching me by the hand and pulling us beside Evie and Harvey.

I’m giggling with delight as he yanks me close and draws our bodies flush. He’s as stiff as a board as he moves along to the music, but I appreciate his effort nonetheless.

“You’re despicable,” he grumbles.

I lace my arms around his tense shoulders and rise on the tips of my toes.“Stop being so shy,” I whisper into his ear.

“Everyone’s staring.”

“Where’s that fuck what they think attitude tonight, huh?”

He lets out a snort at that but remains timid.

“We’re just having fun. Pretend it’s just us .”

Theo’s gaze skims my face considerately, and he finally grants me that boyish grin of his that he was hiding.

The taut muscles of his shoulders go lax beneath my hands. Then, he releases a breath and swings me around as if what I said was the only reminder he needed to let himself enjoy the moment.

So easily, we become carried away by the music, letting it guide our bodies as we move as one underneath the starry night sky. The chill wind blows the hoodie off my head as he twirls me around, setting my unruly brown hair free again. It whips behind me as he spins us, round and round, until I’m too dizzy to stand straight anymore.

Theo’s deep laughter settles over me like warm honey while he steadies my stumbling feet.

“I didn’t know you were such a skilled dancer, Theo!” Harvey laughs, whirling Evie around beside us.

“We need to start calling him Twinkle Toes,” Evie taunts.

Theo groans. “ Piss off!”

The band plays the final lick of their song, and Theo dips me with graceful ease for our grand finale. I swoon over the strength of his arms as he swoops me back up. The closing chord echoes through the street, and everyone applauds.

Breathless and exhausted from dancing, the four of us break through the barricade of city-goers gathered around and continue our journey home. I’m not exactly sure what hour of the night we’ve reached, but judging by the heaviness settling in my limbs, I guarantee we’ve made it past three in the morning. I’m more than relieved to know that our apartment is only a block away.

Theo laces his fingers with mine as we walk, and I can’t fight the urge to taunt him. “Thank you for the dance, Twinkle Toes.”

Harvey and Evie explode with laughter ahead, but Theo shakes his head disapprovingly. “You better watch your smart-arse mouth.”

“You won’t do anything.”

“Bet,” he smirks. “Say it again. I dare you .”

“Please do,” Harvey begs. Evie nods her head approvingly.

“Do you not like it when I call you that?”

“Nora.”

“Theo.” I do my best to bite back my smile. “Tell you what, pretty boy... You let me see you move those hips again, and I’ll stop saying it.”

“You think you’re so fucking funny, don’t you?”

“She is,” Evie and Harvey say in unison.

“Do it, and I’ll stop,” I bargain.

“Not doing it. You’re playing a dangerous game, Nora.”

“Is that a threat… Twinkle Toes ?”

I take off in a sprint down the street before I get the pleasure of seeing the look on his face. As I run, his footsteps pound dangerously close behind me. “Get your arse over here!”

I don’t even make it a meter before his arms squeeze around my waist and yank me back. I squeal as he spins me around to face him, hoists me into his arms, and throws me right over his shoulder—dangling me like a ragdoll.

He gives my ass a hearty smack.

“Ow!”

“I warned you.”

I’m giggling so hard I can barely breathe. “Put me down!”

“Not a fucking chance.”

“You’re gonna make all the blood rush to that poor girl’s head,” Harvey says.

“I warned her! ”

We finally turn the corner and reach our street, and as Theo totes me upside down, something—or someone —catches my eye.

I jerk my head toward the dark silhouette on the other side of the street, and a sense of dread creeps in. The person is hard to distinguish between the passing taxis and cars driving along the road, but eventually, I can discern exactly who it is— exactly who’s watching the four of us.

Fear seizes me and steals the smile right off of my face. “Put me down.”

Theo laughs, unaware that I’m not playing anymore—utterly oblivious to how gravely serious I am.

“Seriously. Let me down.”My voice is so weak that I don’t think he can sense my alarm.

“I told you already, not a fucking cha—”

“Now, Theo!” I pound on his back to convey my urgency. “Let me down, now!”

He immediately sets me to my feet and inspects me thoroughly. A flash of worry crosses his face.

I force my gaze away, ashamed. I don’t want him to see me like this, so frightened that my hands and legs are shaking fiercely.

“ What’s wrong ?”

I try to speak, but I can’t.

“Ellie, you alright?” Harvey asks.

I’m the farthest thing from alright, but I can’t find it in me to admit that out loud. My heart is racing inside my chest, and my breathing is growing labored and choppy. Tendrils of anxiety cloud my mind, consuming every thought running through my head. I peer across the street to see if he’s still standing there, watching…

But he’s gone , no longer lingering anywhere in sight. I can’t decipher whether I should feel comforted by that or downright terrified.

Theo takes a gentle step toward me. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“I—I’m f-fine,” I lie, forcing my unsteady legs to move toward the apartment.

“Nora, wait.”

I bolt past Evie, unable to spare her even a glance. I don’t know what I need right now, but I know I don’t want to be outside anymore.

I don’t want to be anywhere where John could see me.

My skin crawls at that thought alone.

I reach the entrance to our apartment and somehow manage to find the strength in my shaky fingers to enter the passcode into the keypad. I hurry inside and charge up the stairs, taking two at a time. I unlock and open the door swiftly, bolting toward my bedroom, seeking security.

Safety.

As soon as I reach my doorway, my legs turn weak. I press my back against my bedroom wall and slink onto the floor. My heart is beating so violently that I can hear it pounding in my ears.

I clench my eyes shut, trying to focus on calming myself down and deter my thoughts from the way his eyes were watching me— watching all of us.

A wave of nausea rolls through me as footsteps echo down the hallway.

“ I’ve got her .”

My door clicks shut, and I feel someone approaching me. I know it’s Theo as soon as the warmth of his hand settles on my leg. I try concentrating on the place where our two bodies connect.

“You’re alright. Breathe. Just breathe and look at me, Nora. ”He softly instructs, “Tell me three things you can see right now.”

I stare at him for a few seconds, unsure of what he’s getting at, but I feel so desperate for relief that I answer him. “Pillow, umm —Nightstand. Record player.”

“Now, three things you hear.”

“My heartbeat. Footsteps.” Everything grows quiet for a long beat, but I exhale a shaky, weighted breath and continue listening. “Your breathing.”

The corners of his lips twitch, and he gives me a reassuring nod. “Move three body parts.”

I nod my head, trusting him fully, and then wiggle my fingers and toes.

Just like that, my pulse begins to slow, and the tightness in my chest releases a little. There’s still a tremble in my hands, but it’s nothing compared to how badly it was just seconds ago.

Theo sits with me for several moments— not saying a word —and offers me his comforting presence while I slowly pull myself out of my fearful thoughts.

“ I–I’m sorry, ” I say weakly.

He shakes his head at my apology and admits, “Harvey taught me that. To help pull me out of my panic attacks. Ever since my Dad passed, I, umm— I started having them, and he helped me learn how to get control of them. Showed me that method.”

“I–I’ve never had one before. I didn’t know they felt like that.”

Like a never-ending spiral of dread—an all-consuming fear that takes over your body and mind.

Every nerve inside me is still on edge, but he brings his hand to my cheek and caresses my skin. I feel a little lighter.

“They’re fucking shit, aren’t they? You’re safe now, alright? Everything is okay.”

I shake my head at the last part of what he said because I’m not so sure everything is okay anymore. I’ve been convincing myself that all of this would turn out okay, but after catching John watching us tonight, I’m not confident that’s true.

“It’s not,” I choke out. “It’s bad. It’s getting really bad.”

“What’s bad? What’s going on?”

My eyes well up with tears, and my voice wavers as I say, “Don’t be mad at me.”

“Nora, tell me what the hell is going on.”

“I–It’s John,” I cry.

“ John? What do you mean?”

“H-he’s here, Theo.”

“Here?”

“In London.”

He cocks his head back in disbelief. “What do you mean he’s in London? Are you having him visit or—”

“No,” I interrupt. “He’s here because he got accepted to Gildenhill .”

“You’re joking with me?”

I shake my head.

“Are you planning on working things out with him? Is that why you’re so upset?”

“No, Theo. God, no. “ I sob into my hands, overwhelmed by a rush of emotions.

I’d never see my ex again if it were up to me.

“Come here,” Theo sighs, plopping down beside me. He pulls me into his arms. “Please just tell me what’s going on. You’re worrying the shit out of me.”

“I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

“Talk to me.” He draws my chin up so I’m looking him in the eye, brushing my tears away with the pad of his thumb. “Nora, please.”

I reluctantly confess, “It was him that night . John was the one at the train station.”

Theo’s jaw tenses tight. “You said it was nobody.”

“I know I did. I’m sorry.”

“Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to drag you into it. I didn’t want him to even know about you because I don’t want to risk you getting hurt.”

“I’m the last thing you need to be worrying about.”

“I don’t know what he’s capable of, Theo.”

His gaze darkens, and a chill slithers up my spine. “What do you mean capable of? Did he fucking hurt you?”

“I-I’m okay.”

“You’re not. You’re not okay,” he counters angrily, staring at the ceiling in deep thought. After what feels like an eternity, he asks, “You saw him tonight?”

“Yes… he was watching us.”

He lets out an exasperated breath, followed by another long beat of silence. “How many times has this happened?”

“I’ve run into him two times before tonight.”

“ Nora. ”

“I went to the police, Theo. I swear I did. They couldn’t do anything.”

“Do Evie and Harvey know?” I nod, and his jaw tenses again.

“Don’t be angry with them,” I sniffle. “They wanted me to tell you, but I just—I’ve been so scared, but I didn’t want you to worry about it. You’re already dealing with so much and—”

“I don’t ever want you keeping something like this from me again.” He cups my face into his hands and places a gentle kiss against my lips. “It doesn’t matter what I’m sorting through. What you’re dealing with matters to me, Nora. Way fucking more than any of my own shit. You understand?”

That confession softens every single muscle in my body. “I understand.”

“He’s not going to hurt you. I won’t fucking let him.” He holds me tightly against his chest, stroking my hair. “I don’t want you going out alone or by yourself. Please promise me that you won’t do that. Harvey, Evie, or I can go with you places… or that bloody friend of yours …”

A choked laugh slips from my lips. I don’t want to depend on any one of them for that, but I understand his concern, so I nod and say, “Okay.”

“ Promise me. ”

“I promise you… but what about you? He’s seen us together. He probably knows where you work now. What if he tries hurting you?”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m a big fucking boy, Nora. I think I’ll be able to handle his pathetic arse just fine.”

My smile reaches my puffy, sore eyes.

“There’s that pretty smile,” he croons, kissing my head. “You’re safe with me, Nora.”

“ I know. ”