Page 19 of Meet Me at the Metro (Gildenhill #1)

19

FAMILY AFFAIRS

T H E O

J ust the thought of having to go and talk to Kimberley to work out Nora’s schedule has every fiber of my muscles tensing. Talks with her are never just simple conversations. They’re complete mind fucks, conjuring up an endless collection of memories that I’m never prepared to recall.

It’s been months since I’ve talked with her or her son— years since I’ve seen them. I’m thankful fate hasn’t forced our paths to cross much since my father’s passing, despite our close proximity in this vast but cramped city.

That is, until now.

Until her.

My phone buzzes, and the feeling that bubbles inside me as I see Nora’s name appear on the screen again is exactly the reminder I need to continue forward with this.

Handle it? What do you mean?

Not having the time to elaborate any further on my end, I quickly type back my reply. The text message delivers, stealing away any opportunity I might have had to back out of my plan.

I’ll call you later.

“Rob!” I call out as I finish stocking the last bottle of vodka. I gather my bag and quickly make my way toward the front door of Gullie’s .

“ Hmm?”

“I need you to get Sammy to cover my shift. Something’s come up.”

“Like hell it has! You’re not walking out on me this morning. You already showed up late.”

“I’ve got shit I’ve gotta settle.”

“Not on my clock, you don’t.”

“You told me that I need to deal with my family, and that’s what I’m doing. Call Sammy. I can pick up an extra shift later this week.”

An extra shift is the last thing I want to commit to, but I need to try to get this resolved before the registration slots really do close up. Kimberley’s been doing this advising gig for years now, and I know she has the ability to make an exception—just this once. Nora had it in her to forgive me for my shitty behavior toward her, so helping her with this is the least I can do.

“You better have your arse in here Saturday morning!” Rob warns. “9:00 A.M. Sharp . No later.”

I don’t give him the satisfaction of a reply as I hurry outside and go straight to the train station. The ride to campus is so much shorter than I need it to be, and every mile I travel closer has another knot twisting in my stomach. As the stone architecture of the school appears ahead of me, I’m sure that I’m going to be sick.

What in the actual hell do I think I’m doing right now?

My chest tightens as anticipation and fear seize control over my mind and steal every ounce of self-preservation from me. I always hate the way this cruel, familiar haze of anxiety settles over me. I hate how it smothers me, stealing every ounce of oxygen it doesn’t fucking deserve. I never ask for it, never dare welcome the clammy palms and shaky fingers that accompany it.

Fuck, I’m about to have a panic attack.

I find my feet stumbling against the pavement as a wave of dizziness washes over me. I reach out to the wall beside me and work on regaining my balance and steadying my breathing. I fight so hard to calm the rapid beat of my heart and rid my ears of their ringing, but I become a prisoner to the paralyzing memory too quickly to escape it.

Kimberley .

My stepbrother.

My dad.

That day…

The cold winter breeze whizzes against my skin as we make our way down the slick, wet pavement of the city sidewalk. Kimberley and my stepbrother walk ahead of us, laughing at the stupid joke my Dad just made. I’m filled with absolute gratitude as I watch them.

Our lives look so much different now than before they came into the picture six years ago.

Dad’s hand finds my back, and I look over to him. He smiles at me knowingly, like he reads and shares my exact thoughts. Everything feels so complete with the four of us.

“Almost there,” Kimberley croons as our yearly destination appears ahead.

This place has become my absolute favorite family tradition…

I force myself to breathe slowly, in and out, over and over again, until my tingling nerves finally start to settle. I remind myself that I’m not physically reliving that day again. I remind myself that the deepest pain I’ll ever feel has already been felt.

The worst is over now. However, if I could, I’d carve this memory out of my brain forever.

I allow my back to fall against the firm foundation of the school’s walls and bring my eyes to the bright, clear skies above me. Sunny days are so rare here in the fall, so I let myself appreciate the endless shade of blue and find myself recognizing its similarity to Nora’s eyes.

I could do this for her.

I’m surprised at how quickly my anxiety begins to settle. I press a cigarette between my lips and suck in the nicotine like its oxygen, allowing it to numb some more of my worries. I finish the entire thing before mustering the strength to start walking across the main courtyard of the college.

A dry, musty smell hits my nostrils as soon as I take my first step inside the admissions office. Old armchairs and Victorian-style chaises fill the dimly lit space. My eyes do a once over of the large, open room, noticing the tapestry rugs lying along its hardwood floors and the unlit fireplace against the back wall.

Now that my memory of this place is refreshed, I remember why I’ve avoided visits to this part of campus since enrolling here. It looks about as unpleasant as I feel having to come here today.

I force myself to focus on its only appealing feature as I make my way over to the large, floor-to-ceiling window and stare off into the lush grass of the courtyard outside. I fixate my gaze on the students passing along the sidewalk and studying beneath the trees, refusing to think about anything other than my objective here today.

“May I help you?” I immediately recognize the feminine voice behind me.

Here goes nothing.

My body goes rigid, but I somehow persuade my limbs to turn and face my stepmum.

“Theo!” Kimberley gasps. The crow’s feet around her hazel eyes are on full display as she looks me over, and without warning, her arms wrap around me. “I didn’t know you’d be coming by to see me today.”

I don’t mean for my hands to push her away from me the way they do. I run my gaze down her familiar and barely-aged features. She hasn’t changed much. Her deep brown, shoulder-length hair is still cut and styled like it used to be when my Dad was still in the picture. She still wears that same professional business attire. However, its quality seems a lot more expensive than what I can remember.

I roll my shoulders and try to ease my tight, rigid muscles before telling her my intentions for visiting today. “I only came to talk to you about Nora.”

“I’m sorry?” Kim cocks her head confusedly. “I’m not exactly sure I know what you’re talking about?”

“Eleanor Mattice,” I clarify. “She came in today to speak with you about scheduling a new class for the late fall semester. You told her that she missed the deadline.”

“Oh, yes. Ellie, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. Why couldn’t you get her registered? ”

“The cut-off dates for that semester were last Wednesday, Theo. Those dates are final. I’m sorry on her behalf, but I can’t just make exceptions because I want to. It wouldn’t be fair to the rest of the student body.”

“It wouldn’t be because you wanted to. She sprained her ankle. It’s not her fault she can’t dance on the damn thing.”

“The dean would argue that it isn’t the school’s responsibility to accommodate for injuries that didn’t occur on the grounds.”

“Fucking please, Kim.” It kills me to have to beg right now. “Just make this exception for her. Just this once. You get her signed up for a new class and allow her to drop that other one, and I’ll be out of your hair.”

“I could lose my position doing this. Besides, having you out of my hair isn’t exactly a desire of mine. I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for months now.”

“I’ve been busy,” I half lie.

She gives me an apathetic look that tells me she’s not fucking buying it.

“What if I agreed to have dinner with you? Would that sweeten up the deal? Could you make an exception then?”

“I don’t know, Theo,” she sighs, but I also see how her shoulders perk at that suggestion. “I could really get in so much trouble here. Plus, I’m afraid you’d just avoid us and ignore our calls again.”

“Not if you do this for me,” I promise, despite how unbearable this bribe is. “Do this for her, and I can do that for you. Fix her schedule, and I’ll make room in mine to have dinner with you guys.”

“You swear?”

“I swear.”

Kim’s eyes linger on mine for several long seconds as if she’s trying to gauge whether or not my proposal is truthful or deceptive. She exhales a heavy, weighted breath. “Fine. Follow me, and let’s see what we can do.”

Oh, Nora. What have you gotten me into?

E L L I E

“My fingers aren’t long enough for this,” I groan.

My hands fall helplessly against the piano’s keyboard, causing an awful chord to echo through the music room. I think I’ve made the biggest mistake in choosing to learn the piano alongside my studies.

“Yes, they are. They’re just too stiff.”

“They’re not!”

“They are! Here ,” Connor instructs, placing his palms against the back of my hands and adjusting their position. “Just relax your hands. And you don’t want your wrist this high in the air, either. Let them rest easy and keep them level.”

“Like this?”

“Yes,” he smiles. “Like that. Now, go ahead and try running through that C Major scale again. And no more whining.”

“I am not whining!”

“You are,” he chuckles. “Go on. Try again.”

I sigh but do exactly what he asks, stroking each key with slow and careful precision.

“There you go,” he commends as my fingers dance along the notes of the scale without any notable flaws. “See! That was nearly perfect, Ellie.”

“Nearly,” I giggle. “I’m shit at this.”

“Whatever, you’re doing fine. In fact, I’m almost positive that you’ll be playing like Chopin in no time.”

“Shut up!” I swat his hands away. “You’re a smart ass.”

Connor’s smile reaches his dark eyes as they catch hold of mine. Suddenly, everything turns quiet between the two of us. He stares at me so sweetly that I find myself questioning the intention behind his gaze. Before I’ m fully aware of the change that’s transpired between us, his lips are on mine. I pull my mouth away from his within a second’s notice.

“I’m sorry,” he immediately apologizes.

“It’s okay…”

A frown flashes across his face, and I can’t help but feel horrible.

I never intended to hurt him this way. I think a part of me has been in denial of the possibility of him seeing me as anything more than a friend because I’ve always known, in the end, that my heart couldn’t help but love him as anything more than that— a friend .

Nothing can stop the guilt that comes when he quickly stands from the piano bench we’re sharing and starts to gather his things.

“Connor, wait,” I plead. “I-I just—”

“It’s fine, Ellie. Really, it’s fine.”

“I don’t want you to be upset.”

“It’s okay.” A bright red settles on his face. “Seriously, it’s fine. That was stupid of me.”

“I-it wasn’t stupid…”

“It was,” he nods adamantly. “I just—I misinterpreted this thing between us. You don’t like me that way, and I see that now. And I’m just sorry, Ellie. I shouldn’t have tried to push it.”

He bolts toward the door, but I grip his wrist before he can get too far. “Connor, please. I don’t want this to mess up our friendship.”

Friendship.

That word hits him hard. I can tell by the way he pulls his hand away and sheepishly forces his eyes off mine.

I don’t know if I should tell him about Theo to help soothe the burn of that truth or not, but before I can stop them, words are tumbling out of my mouth. “It’s just that I started seeing someone.”

I immediately regret the confession when Connor’s frown deepens. “You’re seeing someone? Are you back with John or something?”

“No, of course not.”

“So you’re seeing someone new?”

“Well, y-yeah.”

“That was fast,” he mutters .

“I wasn’t seeking it,” I defend, not appreciating the sting of his words. “It just kind of happened.”

“Okay.” He laughs softly at himself, and it sounds like an unsettled hurt. “What’s the lucky guy’s name?”

I hesitate to answer before ultimately saying, “Teddy.”

He sighs. “I’m happy for you, Ellie. I am.”

He’s not, but I can tell he’s trying to be. “I’m sorry, Connor.”

“Don’t apologize. Please, don’t apologize,” he winces. “I think that’s enough for our lesson tonight.”

I’m at a loss for words as to what else to say to remedy this convoluted situation I’ve found myself in. The past few days have felt like a whirlwind in all the best and worst ways possible. This thing that just happened with him was the latter.

Connor barrels out of the music room, and I’m left frozen and alone at the piano, wondering what all this means for our friendship.