Page 16 of Meet Me at the Metro (Gildenhill #1)

16

SCARED

T H E O

G od, she tastes so sweet.

Nora’s lips feel so natural against mine. With one single damn kiss, she’s threatening to break down every single one of the walls I’ve put around myself. This game of keeping my guard up is growing tiresome because the way her mouth feels on mine is really starting to convince me that I don’t have the control in me to keep doing it anymore.

Not now, in this moment with her. Not now that I know how naturally my body calls to hers so long as I let it.

Wiltons has always held such fond memories for me, and I’ll be damned if this place hasn’t managed to conjure up yet another one for me to etch in my mind.

I’ve slowly been coming to terms with how much my eyes seem to enjoy watching Nora, but seeing her tonight, the way her face lit up in response to the music hall and the performers, felt addicting. Despite all of my internal efforts not to, the sight of her child-like excitement had me grinning like a fucking fool.

You know, Barbra Streisand has never exactly been my cup of tea, but after tonight, I may be taking a bloody liking to her.

Nora’s lips draw away from mine, all reddened and glossy. She tilts her head up to me, her cheeks flushed and doe-eyes sparkling from the lights hanging from the tall ceilings looming above us.

If I could, I’d drown my mind in this memory alone. I’d surrender myself to this moment—to the sight, touch, and taste of this girl.

Unfortunately, the rush of emotions that thought stirs has me remembering the other person who had a similar power over me. I haven’t felt this way since Millie, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified to let my defenses down after everything I went through with her.

Should I start treading on waters that I’ve spent the last several years avoiding? What if this ends exactly how that did? What if—

“Theo?” Nora’s soft voice interrupts the start of my restless thoughts so effortlessly.

I let her have my attention, too, distracting myself with every feature of her sweet face.

She is just too damn pretty .

I think the worst thing about that thought is that it’s not the first time I’ve had it. It’s just the first time I’ve really allowed myself to admit it.

I swallow and force myself to speak. “What do you think?”

“I think this is perfect. Thank you for bringing me here. Thank you so much.”

Her arms sweep around me in a gracious hug. I don’t let her see it, but I smile as her head falls against my chest, amused at how the top of it only manages to reach my shoulders. There’s no stopping my hands as they tilt her chin back up so I can lose myself in the sea of sapphire that's her eyes.

I swear blue might just be my new favorite color.

She blushes at my intent stare. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

I’m surprised when I immediately answer her back, not an ounce of hesitation left in me as I admit, “I’m thinking about how fucking bad I want to kiss you again.”

“So then do it.”

Those words are the only permission I need. My palms trail to the nape of her neck, my fingers tangling into her caramel-brown hair as I pull her mouth to mine.

Our kiss is hungry, neither of us caring to catch our breath as our tongues intertwine and our bodies grow closer. She moans against my lips as my fingers tighten in her hair. I can tell she’s just as eager for this as I am when she leans further into the kiss and presses her hips against me.

My hands are greedy, fighting to memorize the feeling of her soft hair and her body’s perfect divots and curves. I’m so thankful for the emptiness surrounding us up here on the balcony because I don’t want to stop. Just the feeling of her body flushed against mine has my entire head spinning.

This feels so good... it feels so fucking right .

Needing to catch her breath, Nora breaks away from our kiss again. She smiles at me, so real and broad. “How did you know?”

“What’s that?”

“How did you know to take me here?”

“I think that’s for me to know and for you to never find out.”

“Tell me, asshole,” she giggles.

“I’ll tell you what,” I negotiate, “you let me take you somewhere else tonight, and I’ll think about telling you.”

“You’ll think about it?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“And where would that be, Teddy?”

Leaning past her, I grab the crutches propped along the balcony railing and offer them out for her to take. “You hungry?”

In ridiculous timing, her stomach growls loud enough for both of us to hear. “Bloody hell. Sounds like I already got my answer.”

“Will you ever stop picking on me?”

“Never. Come on, Chewbacca. Let’s get you something to eat.”

Our laughter follows us through the music hall as we leave.

Nora’s insistent on going to that damn Thai place again, so that’s exactly where I intend to take her. Besides, who am I to argue with a girl on crutches?

I force her to piggyback on me most of the way to the restaurant, refusing to put her down—despite her continual protests—until we’re standing right outside its double glass doors.

“You are so extra,” she sighs.

I carefully lower her feet to the pavement and hand her crutches back. “You’re gonna kill that ankle by walking on it too much. I’m doing you a favor.”

Light pink particleboard booths fill the tiny dining establishment. After making our selections at the cashier counter at the front, we seat ourselves in one of them in the far back corner of the restaurant.

“I let you have your way, Teddy. So now you get to let me have mine. Tell me how you knew to take me to Wiltons tonight.”

“I’m intuitive like that,” I shrug. “I figured you’d like it there.”

“Nope, wrong answer. That’s not the only reason, and you know it. Barbra Streisand is my all-time favorite performer, and somehow you knew that, didn’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you do. Have you been stalking me?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Tell me!” She playfully kicks me under the table, making me choke on the Coke I was about to swallow. “How did you know I liked her so much?”

“Your room,” I admit. “I used to go to Wiltons with my Dad all the time when I was little.” The name falls from my lips before I have time to stop it. I push away my father’s memory as quickly as it resurfaces. “I knew they had Barbara Streisand nights on Mondays, and I connected it with all those posters you have of her on your walls.”

I would never admit it out loud, but I loved the way she decorated my old room at the flat—the way playbills and musical posters wallpapered nearly every inch of its four walls.

“I forgot about you seeing my room.” Her eyes immediately fall away from mine .

I’m suddenly remembering how that last night ended for the both of us.

God, I hate thinking about the way I acted after my near episode. For the past few days, I couldn’t stand replaying our argument over and over again in my head. I’ve been such an asshole to her, and all for the sake of keeping myself from opening up to her. I would do anything to have the opportunity to make a better and more meaningful impression.

“I was a dick to you that night,” I blurt. “I was such a dick, and I didn’t mean it. I didn’t really mean any of it. You didn’t deserve the way I acted toward you.”

“It’s fine,” she whispers. “I probably shouldn’t pry into things. You weren’t ready to talk.”

The air between us grows thick at the sudden change of conversation, but I refuse to back down from its heaviness this time. “That still doesn’t excuse me for acting like I did, Nora. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for ruining the night like I did and that I wasn’t able to help you out more. You were hurt, and I couldn’t even pull myself together and help clean and bandage you up.”

“You don’t have to apologize for that. Look at me, Theo,” she commands. “Do you understand? You helped me more than you want to give yourself credit for. You made sure I made it home safe. Made sure I changed out of my freezing clothes. Made sure I had ice for my foot. That meant a lot to me.”

“It’s not just that,” I sigh.

She’s too forgiving.

Words fail me. There’s so much I want to say to her but so much that I’m afraid to admit. My fingers nervously trace the table as I try to calm the restless thoughts running through my mind. As if Nora can sense my uneasiness, she gives my hand a light squeeze, and a sense of peace settles over me. Her skin is electricity as it connects with mine, and somehow, I find the courage to speak again.

“I shouldn’t have dismissed what you said because nothing you said was wrong. You were right that night. I shouldn’t be back and forth with you the way that I am. It’s not fair to you, and fuck —I’m trying so hard to keep my shit together and figure everything out because I do like you. This just scares me.”

“What scares you? Me? You’re scared of me?”

A smirk crawls across my lips as I realize how foolish what I just said was, considering our circumstances. I was the one who was being a dick to her, not the other way around.

“I never intended to scare you, Nora. I would never want you to be afraid of me.”

“ Pssh , I’m not scared of you,” she snorts, brushing off my concern. “Tell me why I scare you. Why does this scare you?”

“Y-you just,” I stutter so fucking pathetically. “It’s just getting harder to hold my guard up around you.”

“I don’t want you to hold your guard up around me. I’ve told you this.”

“I know, but I can’t help but try to. I’m terrified of putting too much of my mess on you—on anyone, for that matter. It ended up being too much for Millie, and the thought of it being too much for you is so fucking heavy.”

“Can I ask who Millie is?” She asks the question so sweetly.

And while I would’ve denied her the answer, this time, I find myself unable to do so. “She’s my ex. We’ve been broken up for a long while. Years . I’ve moved on, but it was just a lot at the time. Things started getting bad with my mental health toward the end of our relationship, and she ended up cheating on me and left. That’s not to say I’m blaming her for leaving because I understand it. I’m a lot, Nora. I’m fucked up.”

“Don’t say that. Don’t say you’re fucked up, alright?” She looks at me with such sincerity as she tells me, “You’re more than your bad days, Theo. I’m sorry things ended the way they did with Millie, but I don’t want you to be scared of this between us because I really like this. I like our stupid little banter. And I like that you’re opening up to me. I want to know you more.”

Our sentimental moment turns sour as a waiter steps up to our table, two plates of food in his hands. “One prawn and chive dumpling and one vegetable dumpling?”

“Yeah,” I bite out, annoyed by his inconvenient timing .

“Is there anything else I can get for you two?”

“No, I think we’re all good here,” Nora answers. “Thanks.”

I’m thankful it was her and not me because I’m not so sure my words would have come out as friendly.

Dinner passes with Nora cramming vegetable dumplings in her mouth voraciously, and I find myself profoundly impressed when she finishes her plate minutes before me. I ended up feeling grateful for the interruption in our heavy conversation earlier because it allowed us to have a much more light-hearted one for the remainder of our meal.

I know I have a lot more to tell her, but for now, it can all wait. I just want to enjoy this moment for what it is.

Peaceful.

I’ll soak in the calm for as long as it’s willing to last.

The rush of raindrops falls onto us as we make our way back toward the train station, both of our hair growing damp from its unapologetic downpour—count on England to bring you rain when you least want it.

Nora’s crutches squelch against the pavement behind me, and I can’t resist the urge to assist her. I crouch in front of her and motion for her to jump onto my back. “Come on, gimpy.”

“Absolutely not. I’m not doing this again.”

“Get on,” I roll my eyes, staying in position.

“I’ve got this,” she insists, ignoring me as she continues down the busy street.

“Fine then.” I come up behind her without warning and sweep her off her feet, pitching her and her crutches into my arms.

“I swear, Teddy! If you don’t put me down right now!”

“So damn stubborn,” I chuckle, refusing to let her go.

She gives up arguing with me as we reach the stairs of the train station and buries her face into my chest to avoid the sets of stares from people. “So damn extra,” she mumbles.

We almost reach the doors of the train, but just as I go to carry the two of us inside, I lose my footing against the slick concrete. Nora and I both go down. My back meets the ground in a heavy thud that forces a painful groan out of me. Nora’s sprawled out on top of me, nothing but a fit of laughter and snorts. Although my entire body is aching, I start laughing right along with her.

I can only imagine how fucking ridiculous the two of us look right now.

“Who’s the clumsy one now?” she insults, choking back tears.

“Still not as fucking clumsy as you!”

While we work on catching our breath, our eyes lock as the rise and fall of our chests begin to sync.

“Could you take me somewhere else?” Nora whispers.

I narrow my eyes, although I already know my answer. “Where?”

“I wanna see your place.”