Page 12 of Meet Me at the Metro (Gildenhill #1)
12
HOT N' COLD
T H E O
N ora is absolutely drunk off her arse as we stumble out of the bar.
How many drinks did she have tonight?
I imagined that it wouldn’t take very much to falter the girl, considering her stature, but by the way she’s walking right now, I’d guess she had to have thrown back at least five before Harvey’s performance.
Or should I say, her little performance…
I try to forget about how enjoyable that was to watch as I lead Nora down the pavement, the fierce wind and rain hounding us as we walk. It’s nearly October and the cool weather shows. I’m so damn grateful that the flat is only a short walk from Gullie’s because I’m afraid if we’re out in these conditions much longer, we’re both going to catch a bloody cold.
Especially with that dress she’s got on.
God, that fucking dress.
I tear my eyes away from it as she looks at me and mumbles through chattering teeth, “You are nooo fun, you know that?”
“ Mmm . Is that so?”
“Yes, it is so,” she huffs, rolling her eyes. “You’re always running— ruining, ” she corrects, “my vibe.”
“Vibe?” I snort. “Is that what carried your arse up on that stage tonight? Or was it all the liquid courage you drank?”
“None of your business! ”
“You’re fucking sloshed right now,” I chuckle, taking hold of her woundless arm to steady her swaying body. “How many shots did you have, huh?”
“Was Mr. Bartender not keeping track?”
“Considering I wasn’t the one pouring them, no,” I smirk. The wind and rain continue harassing us, making her wet hair stick against her cheeks. “I’m gonna guess five, judging how you’re slurring your words right now.”
“Close,” she drunkenly smiles.
“Four?”
She nods eagerly and holds a pointed finger high in the air. “ Ding, ding, ding! ”
“You know, I seem to learn something new about you every time our paths cross.”
“Yeah, like what?” She’s grinning as she looks at me through the messy strands of hair plastered to her round face as we approach the entrance door to the flat.
First of all, she looks really damn good in blue. I don’t dare say that out loud, though.
“You’re a bloody lightweight.”
Nora’s giggles fill my ears as I sort through the ring of keys in my slippery fingers. As I work to unlock the door, she pulls my body closer to hers to steal some of my warmth. I try not to dwell too much on the press of her soaked clothes against my skin as I finally manage to push it open and motion her drunk self inside.
While it’s significantly warmer within these walls, she’s still trembling with shivers beside me. Her arms tighten around herself, clutching her chest firmly as we move for the steps. Our shoes make God-awful noises as we step across the slick, tiled floor.
As I tread up the stairs, a loud squeak and thud sound behind me. My head darts back at the abrupt commotion, and I’m not surprised a bit when I find Nora sprawled out on her back against the floor—laughing her arse off.
“Fucking hell!” I shake my head, chuckling a little as I hurry to her side. I quickly wrap the loosened apron back against her hurt arm and hoist her to her feet. “You’re the most clumsy thing I’ve ever met.”
“ Ow! Theo, wait!”
I snake my arm under her shoulders, taking the weight off her, and blurt, “What?”
Nora tests her strength again, carefully touching the sole of her foot back down against the floor. “ Ow! Shit!”
“Nora, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know! It’s my ankle, I think.”
She takes hold of the stair railing as I crouch in front of her. I swiftly unstrap the heels off her feet and examine her hurt ankle closely, noticing how quickly the skin around the joint is already starting to swell. The pads of my fingers lightly graze the area, and she immediately flinches.
“That hurts like a bitccch!”
“Sorry,” I frown, providing lighter strokes to her skin. “What the hell are we going to do with you? You honestly need to start wearing your own damn caution sign.”
I stand, hooking my fingers around the straps of her shoes before I scoop her body into my arms.
She immediately protests, wriggling like a worm. “What are you doing?! Put me down right now! I can make it up these stairs my-damn-self!”
“Oh, spare me, Nora.” I roll my eyes. “Your ankle is fucked. You can let me carry you up these steps, or we can sit out here the rest of the night, and both bloody freeze.”
“I said I can walk up them myself.”
“You’re so damn stubborn,” I sigh, carrying her up the stairway despite her obvious disapproval.
“You’re one to talk!”
I gently set her on her feet as we reach the door to B20 , quickly unlocking and pushing it open enough for her to hobble inside. I close it behind us before I lift her back into my arms again and start to tote her toward the back of the flat. If this place has any first aid supplies anywhere, it’d be there.
“This is completely unnecessary,” she groans. “I’m fully capable of walking.”
“You’re so full of shit. You just about tripped yourself coming through the front door. You wouldn’t make it to the end of this hall without busting your arse again. Especially considering how damn inebriated you are right now.”
“Bite me!”
“You keep saying that, and maybe I will.”
Her eyes throw daggers at me as we reach the bathroom.
I kick the door open with my foot and carry her over to the bathtub, placing her along the edge of it. I watch her closely for a long moment to make sure she doesn’t go toppling back into the bloody thing because the last thing this girl needs is to add a concussion to her list of injuries from the night. The sight of those bloodshot, glassy eyes, flushed cheeks, poorly bandaged arm, dripping wet hair, and swollen ankle look pitiful enough.
Shuffling through the cupboard hidden behind the sink mirror, I fetch some hydrogen peroxide, gauze wrap, and antibiotic ointment from the first aid kit.
“Here,” I say, walking the supplies over to her and turning on the tap in the tub. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
Working slowly and carefully, I start to take the apron off from around her arm. Flashes of red blood flood my eyes as I peel the soaked fabric away, and it has me taking a step back. I hear the beat of my heart in my ears like drums, and my breathing becomes ragged.
“Theo,” Nora says, so soft and considerate. She must have recognized my growing panic. “It’s not as bad as it looks. See ?” She runs her arm under the bath stream to wash some of the mess away, and she’s right. It’s not nearly as bad as it looked seconds ago, but the water collecting in the tub turns such a bright shade of red that my whole body starts trembling.
Just a little blood. Only a little.
Memories I’ve begged myself to forget about over the past ten years begin to claw at the forefront of my mind. I fight hard to gain some control over my laborious breathing but to no success.
“I can clean this up, alright? Listen to me. Theo, look at me,” she says, the gentle command anchoring me to reality again. She leans toward me, grazing her fingertips against my hand so damn sweetly.
For a moment, I’m convinced she’s just as worried for me as I am for her.
“Just step out in the hall for a second. I’ve got this.”
“But you’re—”
“I’m fine, really. Wait outside. Please?”
“Fine,” I grit out through clenched teeth, yanking the door closed as I step outside.
Why can’t I seem to screw my fucking head on straight?
I’ve done so well here lately to keep those polluted memories from resurfacing. How can one night have the power to damn all that work straight to hell?
So suddenly, my mind is at the foot of the ledge again, ready to plummet down into the depths of the past I’m terrified of recalling because I don’t want to have to live that day over again in my head…
I walk through the doorway and want to scream.
Dad doesn’t even look like himself. His face is so swollen and bruised that I can hardly make out the man I’ve known and looked up to the most for the entire fifteen years of my life. He doesn’t move an inch against the hospital bed. There’s only the rise and fall of his chest as the ventilator breathes for him. My hearing settles on the sound of the machine until it’s the only thing my ears can seem to make out around me.
Click. Woosh. Click. Woosh. Click. Woosh.
I reach for his swollen and bandaged hand, taking it in mine as I fight back the cry rising inside of me.
“D-Dad, I really need you to pull through this. We all do, okay? We need you to come back home to us.”
I wait for the twitch of his fingers or his sigh, but the Universe decides to give me none of that. He still exists as he did when I first walked in, completely silent and motionless. I wonder if he can even hear me.
“Please. Please just get better. I’m sorry I wasn’t there with you when it all happened. I got to you too late, and I’m so sorry, but I—”
The monitor at his bedside alarms before I can speak another word. I wait for it to stop making all the noise, but it doesn’t.
I’m terrified, frozen beside him with utter dread.
I don’t know what the hell is happening as a cluster of nurses rush into the room, but I step aside and let them take my place along his bedside.
“What’s g-going on?”
They don’t have time to answer me as they collapse the head of his bed and start to check his neck for a pulse.
“There’s no pulse.”
“He’s in V-Fib. Call a code blue! Code blue, now!”
More alarms echo through the hall, and more people begin pushing into the room and swiftly tending to my father.
“Someone get this kid out of here! He doesn’t need to see this. Get him out of here, now!”
A set of hands are on me before I’m given the option to push them away.
“No! Stop! I’m not leaving! I’m not leaving him!”
My fight does nothing but earn me more of a battle I’m too ill-prepared to handle. They’ve got such a strong hold against me that I can do nothing but shout as they yank me out into the hallway.
“Let me go! Please, just let me fucking go! Dad! I don’t want to leave! Dad!”
The creak of the bathroom door startles me out of the memory.
As Nora steps out into the hall with me, I’m completely unaware of how much time has passed since I left her side. I will my trembling limbs to still and draw myself out of the fog of dissociation.
“All cleaned up now.”
“Let me see,” I say, my voice strained.
She timidly bites down on her bottom lip and holds her arm for me to see. So easily, I find myself smiling as she shimmies her messily wrapped limb in front of me, so proudly displaying her drunken job.
“Don’t you dare critique my work!”
“I know better than to do that.” Deep down,I’m so pissed at myself for getting so wound up that I couldn’t have helped her wrap it a little better. I lean against the wall behind me, and shame eats me up from the inside out. “I’m sorry, Nora.”
“No sorrys,” she says without an ounce of hesitation. “I’d be a shit nurse, wouldn’t I?”
“Your arse should definitely stick to musical theatre,” I chuckle.
I can’t help my eyes as they trail down the length of her body. The blue dress she wore tonight sticks against her curves like a second skin.
I swallow. “You need to change into some dry clothes.”
I force my gaze to the floor to distract myself from how my blood warms at the sight of her.
Then, I move to Nora’s side and hold her, steadying her balance as she limps into her bedroom. She plops down onto the mattress of her bed, examining her ankle and arm. She sits for the next several moments like this, staring at her injuries in silence as if she’s contemplating all the decisions she made tonight.
“Maybe I should get my own caution sign,” she pouts, head hung low in regret.
“I’ll go grab you some water and pain medicine,” I chuckle. “And some ice for that damn foot.”
I make my way back down the hall with water, an ice pack, and pills in hand. Her door is shut when I return, so I press my ear against it, listening closely to the shuffling inside.
“Oh, shit balls!” I hear Nora curse as the tumble of books and jewelry falling onto the hardwood floor sounds through the wall.
“Nora?” I call out to her, knocking against the wood standing between us. “You okay? You dressed?”
“Y-yeah, I’m dressed,” she calls back. “You can c-come in.”
As I open the door, Nora slumps against the edge of the mattress again, kicking— with her good foot— the remnants of the clumsy mess she’s made underneath her bed. An oversized t-shirt hangs against her body, barely covering the tops of her bare thighs. I do my absolute best to tear my eyes away from the tempting sight, pretending that the image of her soft skin isn’t making my mouth go dry right now. Her fingers weave through her wet hair as she gathers the brown strands together in a messy bun at the top of her head.
And just like this, how she is now, she looks so fucking pret—
I hand over the glass of water and pills to her before I allow myself to finish that thought. I crouch in front of her, examining her foot further in the golden light of her bedroom.
“Shit, Nora, this thing is swollen almost the size of a croquet ball.” I gently press the ice pack over the joint of her ankle, which immediately has her flinching in pain. She pulls her foot out of my grasp. “If you don’t get some ice on it, it will only get worse.”
“It’ll be fine. I’m sure it’s just swollen from the impact.” Her eyes meet mine, and for a second, I swear she’s about to say something else, but she just continues to stay quiet.
“Just keep an eye on it, will you? If the swelling doesn’t end up going down, you probably need to go get it checked out.”
“What the hell is this, Theo?”
“ Huh?” The question catches me off guard. “What do you mean?”
“Why are you here right now? Why did you take me home tonight? Why are you going out of your way to care for me like this?”
“Because you got hurt,” I answer with a furrowed brow. “I wanted to help.”
“You don’t make any sense,” she tells me, shaking her head.
“I don’t make any sense?”
“No,” she huffs with vexation, her eyes pinned to the floor to avoid mine. “You don’t.”
“Nora, I’m sorry, but I seriously don’t know what the hell you’re on about.”
“I’m talking about the way you’re acting right now. Acting like you care . It doesn’t make sense. You’ve been an ass to me since the first day I met you, but then you’ll have these moments in between— like right now— where you’re a little less of an ass, and it’s confusing me.”
“I wasn’t about to let you fucking bleed out at Gullie’s . You needed to get home and wash up.”
“Evie and Harvey could have taken me home tonight, Theo.”
“Evie was drinking with you, and Harvey was working.”
“ You were working. ”
“What do you want me to say? I just wanted to make sure you made it home safe.”
“Even though the last time I saw you, you were completely cold with me?” She locks her stare on me again and my pulse is suddenly beating faster. I’m not entirely sure if it’s those blue eyes of hers or the turn of the conversation that suddenly has my heart racing.“You didn’t seem to care so much about me then.”
“This conversation is silly,” I scoff. “You’re tired.”
“You know what? I am tired. I am so tired of this bullshit going on between the two of us. This little game you keep playing with me is exhausting. You keep messing with my head—”
“Messing with your head? Is that what you think I’m doing?”
“It’s exactly what I think you’re doing! Sometimes it’s seemed like you’ve gone out of your way to hang out with me, just to get pissy with me by the end of the night and practically tell me to fuck off.”
“I’ve never told you to fuck off,” I wince, feeling ashamed that I’ve ever given off that harsh of an impression.
“Maybe not those exact words, but you get the point, Theo,” she sighs. “I just wish you’d make up your mind on how you want to treat me. Are you going to keep acting like I’m an inconvenience to you, or will you keep acting like you care?”
I’m so tired of the back and forth myself, but I don’t know what to say to her. Every time she’s around, I fucking crave her, and that’s what’s messing with my head the most. I’ve felt numb for so long now because it seemed to be the only way I could make things in my life a little simpler. Now I’m starting to feel everything all at once. Nora has me feeling everything all at once again, and I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do with all of it. I don’t know how to handle it.
“I’m sorry for trying to fucking help you, Nora,” I fire back defensively as I stand and take a step back toward the bedroom door.
“Don’t you dare do this, Theo.” She completely ignores the state of her foot as she rises from the bed and tries to close the distance between us. “Don’t you dare pull away now. You don’t get to do this.”
“Do what?” I snap back, still finding enough air to argue back even though it feels like she’s stealing the breath straight from my lungs.
“Distance yourself and shut down when things get heated between the two of us! Keep walking away from the truth. You keep stringing me around, you know that? I’m in hot water with you one second and cold water the next. This isn’t fair!” Her breaths are hot, the smell of alcohol still lingering on them. “I know you’ve got a complicated history. I know you’ve got your guard up because of it, but—”
“You actually don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!”
“Oh, really?” She responds defiantly, her face now only inches away from mine and red with anger. “I don’t?”
“No, you don’t,” I growl.
“Then, please, go ahead and enlighten me on what the issue is then! Quit putting walls up and just talk to me like a normal human being.”
“I’m talking to you right now, Nora.”
“You know what I mean, Theo. You keep closing off a part of yourself every single time we have a conversation.”
I shake my head with frustration and disbelief. “You don’t want to hear what I have to say. Trust me .”
“Yes, I do, because I’m trying to know you,” she says, the hard look in her eyes finally softening as they scan my face. Silence swarms us for a long moment before she finally hushes out, “I can’t keep doing the back and forth with you. I’m so tired of you letting me in a little just to shut me out.” My chest jolts as her fingers brush my face, subsiding the tight tension in my jaw. “If you would just let me in. I want to hear everything you have to say.”
But you really don’t.
Everyone is always so insistent on me opening up, letting them in, but the second I open the floodgates of my past, everyone straps on their life jackets and float as far away as they can from me because that past is fucking ugly. It’s heavy and loaded, its weight carried on my back every day for the last ten years like some hideous secret. It’s not Nora’s job to deal with that weight—not a single ounce of it. I don’t want her to bear it for even a second.
“You don’t know what the hell you want,” I scoff, hoping that the sting of my words is enough to end this and any future conversations we might have had. Barely finding the will to do so, I force a gap between the two of us. “Get some sleep, Nora. You’re drunk. ”
The front door clicks and swings open in the distance.
“ ELLIE! THEO! ”
I push out of the room quickly, using my friends’ arrival as an excuse to get myself the hell out of here. One more minute with Nora would be enough to convince me to stay, but after everything that’s been said, I can’t stay .
Evie’s and Harvey’s eyes meet mine from where they stand at the end of the hallway. I force my feet to start walking toward them instead of back toward the girl I left in the bedroom behind me.
“She’s in her room. She sprained her ankle. I’m heading out.” I look back one last time and regret it immediately as I catch sight of Nora’s solemn face hanging out of the doorway.
Harvey grabs onto my arm, the remainder of his drag makeup from tonight barely clinging to his face. “Everything okay, mate?”
“Everything’s fucking great,” I lie, trudging my feet through the living room and refusing to stop until they’ve made it to the pavement outside of the flat.